Kids: Germ warfare

Germ warfare

By kallens - 17/01/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 786

You deserved it 2 554

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Same thing different taste

By Kylie - 26/01/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 005

You deserved it 28 635

By carl_carl_ - 13/07/2015 15:10 - United States - Wichita

Today, I was on a roller coaster behind a boy who vomited in front of me as the cart shot down. It splattered all over my arm, and a little on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 821

You deserved it 2 200

By -.- - 20/09/2013 23:58 - United States - Lakeside

Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 535

You deserved it 2 885

By humanshield - 10/04/2016 16:49 - United States - Rockland

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 249

You deserved it 5 127

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 935

You deserved it 44 852

By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 152

You deserved it 5 795

By grossedout - 09/12/2010 02:26 - United States

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 876

You deserved it 3 045

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 083

You deserved it 40 019

By Tiff676 - 16/08/2009 04:31 - Canada

Today, I was working at the theater as an Usher. A man comes up to me and gives me his ticket. At the same time, he takes a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 948

You deserved it 2 672

By Ren - 27/01/2009 20:02 - United States

Today, I was at work, the Disney Store. A little boy was crying so I went over to him. After talking to him for a little while I found out he couldn't find his mother. When he became comfortable I went to help him stand up, he choked back his tears and then puked all over me from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 128

You deserved it 2 190

christopherlove 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 22:48

That's assault. I would have drop kicked the little ******.

Narelon 12

Thursday 30 May 2013 12:18

I absolutely HATE dealing with shitty little brats that don't bother to cover their mouth / nose when they cough or sneeze.

Comments

HeyThatsMySoc 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 5:29

...& then...you slapped him & showed him discipline...right?

christopherlove 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 22:48

That's assault. I would have drop kicked the little ******.

24788 6

Friday 1 May 2009 8:19

Lol, swine flu.

Fuck_The_Police 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 22:41

Ahahahaha Im crazy!!!

iFruit 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 7:05

I would have "accidentally" sneezed, and "accidentally" pushed him into the pool.

stewpididiot 11

Friday 26 March 2010 10:09

You should have found his 'rents and bitch slapped the **** out of them and then spit on them.

vespero 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 21:01

why is this in the "love" category?

chrisoc16 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 0:46

Pedophile....

purplepillow467 3

Thursday 26 August 2010 4:18

whoa top ten omg but yahh I would hav moved when he started speaking to get in his face so he can cough right in it ydi

WTSchool 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 2:28

I'm sure you dd finish, OP. (:

msmandy 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 3:40

not really an FML.... it's just sucks.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Friends Teenagers Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Revenge Food Cats

The Top

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 372

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 366

The Top

Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 337

You deserved it 4 587

Today, and forever, I've never had a woman try to hit on me, so when my barista asked if I’d like to come to her place after her shift, I didn’t immediately realise she meant sex, so I actually stupidly said, “What for?” She got embarrassed and people glared at me like I was scum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 519

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 000

You deserved it 27 420

Today, I booked a driver's ed course to avoid 3 points on my driving licence for doing 40 in 30 zone. That day, my wife kept quarrelling in the car, I got angry at her for a second, apparently also stepping on the gas. A triumphant copper with a speed gun was right there. I haven't had a speeding ticket in 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 691

Today, the handle in the port-a-potty broke off, with me inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 092

You deserved it 2 843

Today, I found out that while I see a therapist for my trust issues, my husband sleeps with our nanny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 571

You deserved it 3 622

Germ warfare

Same thing different taste

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