Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. Trying to be romantic, I told him that I loved him and I was so glad I was with him. He responded by giving me a thumbs-up and turning back to the TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34785) - you totally deserved it (3862)
On 05/14/2009 at 2:48am - love - by KarolBee (woman) - United States (California)
yah sounds like you got a winner there....way to pick em...LOL but that sucks hunn...
#3 - On 05/14/2009 at 6:09am by VegasMade702
Since you've been with him a year, I doubt this is highly an unusual behavior for him. What were you expecting?
That sucks though. It's not like its a random day you're saying all this, its your anniversary.
#5 - On 05/14/2009 at 6:11am by redbluegreen
ooouuuch. I would have gotten soo pissed off at my boy. haha he would never hear the end of it, but really that does suck...
honestly #6???
#7 - On 05/14/2009 at 6:15am by jazminbliss
It really does depend what was on TV. If it was 24 then it really should be your boyfriends fml for interupting his bauer hour with an I love you!!!
#8 - On 05/14/2009 at 6:15am by driscoll1985
#9, they want to be the one that changes them into a nice guy or "saves" them, and most likely, they have daddy issues. Some just like to be with someone difficult or who will control them, because its "cute". Usually, in that last case, it just turns into abuse.
That's my own personal opinion anyway.
#11 - On 05/14/2009 at 6:22am by redbluegreen
This is quite a common theme here.
On one hand if this is par for the course with this guy, you either shouldn't be with him or accept the fact that he's a dork.
On the other hand you may just be insensitive to points like timing and mood. If you're not having a "moment" with someone and expect them to get into the same frame of mind as you when they are clearly otherwise occupied you are just setting yourself up for disappointment.
#14 - On 05/14/2009 at 6:29am by The_Great_Zucchi
#9 Women don't always go out looking for mean guys. They can just put up a nice front to get with them. True colors show over time.
If that bothers you talk to him. If he doesn't have time to talk you then you get rid of him.
Also guys can turn into brick walls at times. No matter what you do or say there minds somewhere else. I do that sometimes when I'm into something.
wow you're at the five year mark already!
If you are willing to put up with that it's how you know if a relationsip will last.
#17 - On 05/14/2009 at 6:37am by dirtyhippie
Haha, classic, love it!
If my boyfriend did that after I told him I loved him he would have gotten a boot in the ass or an "accidental" punch in the male area!
#18 - On 05/14/2009 at 6:40am by Slappy_Tackle
@9 you tell me. apparently when a guy does something you frown upon that makes him an asshole. regardless of how he treats her in general, his feeling toward her, his morals or personality, its this one defining moment where he fucks up that makes him an asshole.
if youre a guy, youre probably a dumbass whos got that whole "nobody likes nice guys" complex going on, unless youre young in which case i sympathise completely, youre just ignorant, youll learn one day like we all did. well...most of us.
#21 - On 05/14/2009 at 6:49am by organisedchaos
= ( That sucks! I would take this as a hint & think about if you really want to be with someone, that can't even say I love you back. Sorry to hear though!
#22 - On 05/14/2009 at 6:50am by rachelbrianna25
Coulda been worse, he could have coupled it with a big but perfunctory cheesy grin, two bouncing thumbs up and uttered the immortal line "Right back atcha", all the time with eyes flicking back to the TV.
In any case context is king, this could be totally justified. Were you watching something really good and fast paced? The BSG finale for instance? If that were the case I'm not sure I'd even give the thumbs up TBH...
#23 - On 05/14/2009 at 6:54am by Stupidstupidrat
Anniversaries don't mean as much to men as women. You need to impress upon him the importance of it.
@19 bullshit you would. youd probably make a fuss about it, hed sit there thinking "what the fuck is her problem" apologise to shut you up and then 2 hours later ud be on the phone to ur friends telling them how thoughtful your "man" is.
if you dumped everyone who did something you didnt like...youd probably have nobody.
...do you have nobody? cos that would be hilarious.
#25 - On 05/14/2009 at 7:06am by organisedchaos
YDI for being with a man this long and not noticing hes a jerk....
#26 - On 05/14/2009 at 7:06am by CodeMonkey123
#9 - cuz assholes aren't desperate i guess... i wish i knew. i'm attracted to assholes and i don't know why.
#9 this is why "nice guys finish last"
its been going on for..a hell of a time now. haha, it seems if you're a complete ass to a chick..she's all over you. Ive tested it out, its how i got one of those girls wanting to date me. its fucked up.
not all women are like that though, i know a few girls who dig nice guys. but trust me, those girls are hard to come by. Just a shred of advice though man, if you ever meet these chicks who dig "badboys"
dont give em the time of day. none of them are worth it. they end up aloine, cold and tired in the end wondering why they cant land a winner. its funny really. Nice guys finish last, but it dont mean we lose the race.
#25, I cannot fathom WHY a woman would act this way, but you're right, they do.
#29, keep it up. Some of us women are secure and have no time for jerks, and appreciate nice normal guys. You and your lady will be very happy at the end of the race :)
I'm going to go with GIRLS like assholes. The more mature and far more attractive WOMEN who have their head on straight actually like guys who are stable and treat women right.
The OP sounds fairly young, around high school or so. She probably has never even met a good, stable dude.
Reminds me of the last guy I dated. Absolute jerk, thought the sun shone out his.. well, simply put, I'm glad to be rid of him. Guys like that are oh-so-irresistible, but they always end up hurting girls in the end.
#32 - On 05/14/2009 at 8:08am by Travestie616
id be heartbroken if that happened to me...im sorry =(.
#33 - On 05/14/2009 at 8:09am by alexgisforme3
#31 Agreed.
If anyones interested...I have another story that perfectly describes how some chicks prefer badboys.
I met this girl, haha..cliche. movin on. Anyway..we talk for a while, become friends..and soon we're flirting like its hell on earth..its off the hook man. So, she invites me over one night to watch movies which was nice of her, so i went. blah blah, we talk more and she brings up her EX.
She left him because he stabbed her in the leg, while she was preg. (shes still preg)
2 weeks ago, she accepted a marriage proposal from him...in prison.
See what i mean? fuck that noise. so now she wonders why i dont come over anymore. hope she has fun getting knifed again..for fuck sakes i hope that baby ends up okay. Stupid chicks out there man..
lmao #6
i would probably do the same thing;
but i mean seriously it's your anniversary he should at least show something more than THAT
like a kiss and a meaningful thank you??
#35 - On 05/14/2009 at 8:13am by maggie_gxx
My issue with this is that the OP was "trying" to be romantic. That's all cute and fun if the OP is young, but at a more mature point in life, romance will be seen for what it potentially is: a contrived substitute for actual substance in the relationship (at least when partners "try" to make it happen). I'd bet the bf would be more responsive if the OP didn't try so hard and instead let the romance organically happen.
#36 - On 05/14/2009 at 8:20am by hesodidnot
YOur boyfriend isn't much of one.. Make sure he kind off pays fornot letting you know what he feels for you. It's important in an relationship.
Not all girls go for the "bad boys" u know sometimes they're good at the beginning n then turn into assholes...most people change after a while....
Oh n I wouldn't go as far as telling u to dump because everybody has those moments (unless this wasn't the first time that he acted like this)
BUT he could have tried to show that he cares at least that special day FYL
#38 - On 05/14/2009 at 8:39am by karinna_laloca
@34 i think this reflects more on your choice of people to get to know. i mean its not like you met her and then she started seeing this guy...if shes messed up like that i doubt she would have many classy friends sticking around, see people generally stop hanging out with the guy/girl who has the ex con boyfriend that likes stabbing people.
then you met her.
where the hell do you go to pick up?
#39 - On 05/14/2009 at 8:47am by organisedchaos
You probably caught him at a bad moment. Say the same thing tomorrow and see what happens. If nothing changes, or it gets worse, move on.
#39 well, its actually quite different.
all of her chick friends (surprisngly) are pretty much planning to attend her wedding.
they all like the guy for some reason, which fucking makes you think.
we met at her work actually. apparently he was already in jail by the time i met her.
& i dont know...this is why i stay away from dating now.
just yea,, its insane.
aw thats horrible of your boyfriend, dear. i would be heartbroken.
#9 im an 18 yr old girl whose ALWAYS had a thing for arseholes and its really annoying because obviously they treat you like crap. but if you really like somone you cant help it! its not as if you can just switch off.
for me i think its like.. sometimes they seem like they really like you and sometimes they seem like they really dont at all.. and at those times you stay with them because you want them to like you again and your so thrilled when they act like they do so you forgive them. i know its screwed up but i cant help who i like.
#43 you attract them, if you got a guy who treated you well you'd be surprised lol. Have fun being lied to and cheated on.
As stated, it's difficult to determine whether your boyfriend was genuinely being an asshole or you just randomly blurted it out and he was too surprised to respond. If you plan on being romantic, timing and delivery are important. There is a certain "mood" that needs to be set and you can't simply expect people to snap into it to suit your convenience. Of course, he might just be a jerk, but it's impossible to tell baded on your post.
#46 - On 05/14/2009 at 9:45am by cthulhu1138
ouch, next time he asks you for a blowski, give him a thumbs down, and turn to the tv
#47 - On 05/14/2009 at 9:50am by Ilovelife07
lol #47.
Honestly, how romantic could it really have been sittin there in front of the TV?
#50 - On 05/14/2009 at 10:04am by rukusrazor
@42...weird people. my friends and i wouldnt be quite so supportive. the last time one of our friends decided to go out with a douchebag we pretty much stopped hanging out with her. obviously telling her why first, itd be harsh to just say nothing n disappear. she had the choice, us or them. they later split up but meh. still didnt see her much after that.
#51 - On 05/14/2009 at 10:09am by organisedchaos
There are so many different variables that are in play here.
Has he done stuff like this before?
Have you guys spend a lot of time planning this anniversary?
Were you clear in your intent?
Was he watching something he's really into?
etc, etc
I just can't really decide what to say because there is so much that we don't know. So whatever.
#52 - On 05/14/2009 at 10:10am by genius_man16
I am not sure if the guy was an asshole if he was so into what he was watching that he didn't quite catch what was said
That almost sounds like something I would do, except I wouldn't respond at all. I have been known to be in my own little world when something interesting is on tv. Luckily I am learning to multitask better now that my husband and I have a 15 month old daughter that likes to get into everything and anything.
Which is why we have a DVR :)
When you said that to your boyfriend, was it during a commercial break at least?
I know when you feel that way, you what to say it right then and there, but you could have waited. When my husband and I were dating, we went out to eat to celebrate our 1 year anniversary. If money is a problem, you could have had a nice homecooked meal.
#54 - On 05/14/2009 at 10:26am by patray_angel
For one, you probably shouldn't do romantic confessions while your man is watching tv. Also, learn to come in during commercial breaks. I know the feeling because I've had people try to talk to me during video games.... it doesn't work. I'm a woman, by the way.
#55 - On 05/14/2009 at 10:54am by takemeaway10
#51 yeah..no idea what it is.
probably gonna write a book on this sometime. girls never cease to amaze me.
A whole year hm? At least now you know exactly how important you are to him. Either he heard you and that was all he could respond with or he didn't hear you and didn't care to find out what you said. The fact that the TV was there is irrelevant since TV isn't all that important. Be thankful to know where you stand with him.
(I'm betting if his favorite meal entered the scene, he'd have stopped watching the show long enough to align the plate in front of himself, so that makes his favorite meal more important than his girl. LOL Sooner or later he'll learn that food isn't the only thing that can grow cold if left waiting.)
Yeah, it really doesn't make sense. They go for the assholes because "they need saving" and "maybe he really likes me this time" and then wonder why they're stuck with an asshole. Meanwhile the guys who really do like them get the cold shoulder. People are so fucked.
easy comeback, next time you are having sex, after he finishes just look at him give him a cheesy ass smile, two thumbs up, roll the eyes and go watch american idol.
#59 - On 05/14/2009 at 11:51am by andycaliboy
So what? My boyfriend does it all the time. Is he ADD/ADHD?
#60 - On 05/14/2009 at 11:56am by sh0bizgurl
I agree with #14
she never said what they were doing, I mean they were watching TV and he was watching something but were they cuddling together on the couch? Maybe he was laying on the couch and she was sittin on the chair next to it. They might have just came home from a romantic day of telling eachother how much they love eachother and he just wanted to chill on the couch and it was late. Maybe they were both tired (from a long day or some heavy sex). Stop being so quick to say this guy is a jerk when we don't know what the situation really was. Everyone does this kind of thing sometimes, so breaking up with somebody for something like this is like saying you're dumping humans in general lol.
#61 - On 05/14/2009 at 11:59am by primogen18
Your idea of romance is telling people you love them?
#62 - On 05/14/2009 at 12:02pm by thelonelylurker
Dude probably just wasn't ready to say "I love you" back and didn't know what else to do. Can be an awkward moment if one person says it and the other isn't ready to hear it.
He sounds a bit like a fuckstick. However, if all that you did was come to fmylife to complain instead of actually doing anything, well then you deserve it.
#68 - On 05/14/2009 at 1:09pm by jamblasticus
Dear Females: Males don't care about anniversaries. Kthx.
#70 - On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm by Misanthropist
Dear Males: Females do, and if males don't be more considerate, males are going to be single.
K thx.
:)
#117 - On 08/12/2009 at 8:53pm by K1ll_M3_N0w
Dear #70: I don't think you're qualified to speak for 1/2 of the entire population. I have met men who care about anniversaries. You are wrong. Kthx. Anniversaries were not the point of the FML.
Wow, I like how everybody has some heavy interperetation of the intricacies of his behaviour and her motivations. Maybe the guy just has an awesome sense of humor.
#73 - On 05/14/2009 at 1:53pm by MaoTseTung_80mil
:( Why didn't you guys make plans that were more special than watching TV for your one-year anniversary??
What is with all the "Wow, he totally sucks, get a new boyfriend" themed comments?!
Dude, cut the guy some slack - if you lay all that emotion on a person out of the blue, you can't expect some huge, random, on-the-spot outburst of Romeo-esque proportions in return. Deer in the headlights, anyone? Honestly, if you can't find THAT response endearing, then you must be totally lacking in a sense of humour XD And before anyone complains about "Oh, but it was their ANNIVERSARY!" - let's all just remind ourselves that they were *watching television*. If you are content to lounge about and watch the telly on your one year anniversary, I think it's a little unfair to then complain about the lack of romance. Just because he didn't profess his undying love for you before jumping on the couch Tom Cruise style and bursting into song doesn't make him a jerk - he obviously wasn't feeling "romantic" right then and there in that moment (and how can you blame him, really, seeing as how you were doing nothing but watching TV). Would you prefer he gave some half-assed response and faked it? You got the acknowledgement, and by the sounds of it, it was adorable in its own way. Seriously, OP - the real FML here is more due to the fact you had to try to be romantic while you spent your one year anniversary watching TV.
#77 - On 05/14/2009 at 2:52pm by judgeymcjudge
wow, if my boyfriend did that, i would just get up and leave.
our one year was the 2nd of this month.
but the night before we were going to have dinner,
i wake up to a text saying he had practice until 6 (he's in a band)
and would go to dinner with me then. FML
and he knew that would make me mad.
i told him he could have said no, but he said he couldn't
beacuse they would get pissed or w/e.
FML
#78 - On 05/14/2009 at 3:03pm by amberr_d00d
judgeymcjudge, they've been dating for a year, he could have showed some emotion, if i said that to boyfriend at random, he would say it back, not out of obligation, but b/c it was true and he meant it.
her bf is probably just an asshole, (no offence)
#79 - On 05/14/2009 at 3:06pm by amberr_d00d
at least you got that. i got dumped the day after my one year anniversary. (this all happened not even a week ago)
amberr_d00d:
That's kinda the point... The emotion obviously wasn't there, thus, it would have been out of obligation at best, you see?
#81 - On 05/14/2009 at 3:15pm by judgeymcjudge
#77- This would all be true, but come on. A thumbs up? I don't know anyone who gives a thumbs up unless they're trying to be cheeky. So he actually put more thought and effort into blowing her affection off than it would have taken to just give her a peck on the cheek.
#83 - lmmmr! I see you many places on here!
I think saying he blew it off is a bit harsh, but it could be true. And, it depends. If he was right next to her, then I agree, a peck on the cheek would have been better (but I bet the OP would have still made the post here, even with that). If he wasn't right next to her, I think a thumbs up wasn't a bad move (obviously, there are better moves, but this one wasn't atrocious - I've heard worse). I think he probably was being cheeky, hence, I think it would have been endearing in its own way! :P
#84 - On 05/14/2009 at 3:39pm by judgeymcjudge
well come on!! in his defense, you guys we just watching tv leisurely, and u hit him with the "L" word...anf it only been a year!! Of his probably limited options, that was probably the best. Chill out on L word, you have to ease into he, so he can be prepared...
#86 - On 05/14/2009 at 3:54pm by Hard_Echoes
Wow, sound like an asshole.
Sounds like what my bf would do.
You can do better
#90 - On 05/14/2009 at 4:29pm by CourtneyCrunk
This was your one year and the guy is still awkward with you being lovey?
Are you in grade 8?
#94 - On 05/14/2009 at 6:37pm by effyourlife_
@9
I think I have an answer. Girls want nice guys, or so they say, however, those relationships only last like a month, or so. Girls like mean guys because the niceness they want is hidden behind a wall of asshole. Basically, girls want to work for what they want, not have it given to them.
Hence why a nice guy isn't as good as a jackass who can be nice if you just stick with him and try and dig it out.
Watching TV isn't what I'd call mood-setting, dear. Unless this was early or late in the day, that's a pretty effing boring and uneventful way to spend an anniversary. For that matter, I can see why your comment got such a weak response. Not a YDI though, the least he could have done was kissed you.
#98 - On 05/14/2009 at 8:33pm by Nakedsquirrel
Ah Young, Stupid, Clueless Males. They made it so easy to steal their girlfriends with just some Romance, Attention, and basic affection. Tell him to take his thumb and stick it up his ass next time he wants some.
typical dude.
after he gets bored from watching TV and he is looking for some action
be like
"oh thats nice" give him the thumbs up and walk away haha
#100 - On 05/14/2009 at 9:06pm by vanityinsanity
This is when you cockblock him with a thumbs up next time he wants to have sex.
#102 - On 05/15/2009 at 12:22am by lolwut_fail
LOL omg im sorry
but thats funny..
ahh.
okok.
some guys do behave lk morons
but im sure thrs some reason youve been w him for a yr?
unfortunately some people are like that. you shouldn't take it too seriously, that would be my advice ;)
#104 - On 05/15/2009 at 5:35am by crazy_tree
#6 and #20 are right, either make him a sammich or don't disturb him. MWAHAHAHA
#106 - On 05/15/2009 at 10:20am by lazorzpewpew
... perhaps you should notify him that you need him to let you know that he should show a little more appreciation... he is merely ignorant... let him know and if he's a good guy, he'll understand...
#107 - On 05/15/2009 at 4:52pm by BleedingDarkness
And that's the last anniversary, right?
And wtf? "Men will be men"? No. Being male is not synonymous with being an asshole. Just because you happen to be in possession of a penis doesn't give you the right to be rude.
Dump him. If he doesn't respect you enough after a year to respond with anything more than a thumbs-up he probably never will.
#108 - On 05/15/2009 at 5:36pm by itsnotmytree
ooh shiit !
if my boyfriend did that to me i'd be pissed..
..but just cuz he didn;t say it back doesn't mean
he doesn't actually like you !
'love' is such a big word
maybe he reeally likes you, but doesn't ' love ' you. you know ?
you should talk to him about this and find out how he really feals
#109 - On 05/16/2009 at 12:56pm by lawls
Men are simple. Women can't seem to understand that.
He is watching TV, that is the so-called "current activity". For the purpose of this activity loving someone is irrelevant.
The thumbs up means: "I agree" or "YAY!" or "same to you ma'am". Basically he loves you, and he is watching TV.
Hey, ya know if you ever want to break up with him, I'm single at the moment and I have a comassionate heart (as in I'll probably acknowledge you with a hug or something before going back to the tv)...
typical chick behavior. Their idea of romance is talking about it. If you wanted to start something with the guy, go for it! make him know you want him. trust me youll be glad you did. I had an ex gf do something similar. Stopped by my place un-announced one day, we sat around chatting a bit then she left. She tells me a week or so later how much she was horny & wanted me that day. She gave me NO clue at the time she was there.
#5 go die.
Dump him. If the girl I like said that to me I'd forget there was a tv, or anything but her. I'd feel amazing
#114 - On 06/05/2009 at 4:40am by XxHeartBrokenxX
To organized chaos- dude. Go play in traffic it's mostly true.
#115 - On 06/08/2009 at 6:30am by Laxguitar37
Next time wait for a commercial. You're so inconsiderate. :P
#118 - On 09/03/2009 at 3:44pm by ibanezrick
