Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47497) - you totally deserved it (3377)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Child abuse jokes are always always in poor taste, your girl friend must have a sick sense of humor. Even if your job wasnt working with children it is still a very bad joke.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ohh, nicee girlfriend.
Some of the stupid parents might have even thought it meant you loved little kids and you are great with children? :D
You should have just rubbed it in anyway.
xD I think that'd be hilarious if you didnt work with little boys, I mean their parents are going to see it and it's only going to make you look reallllyyy suspicious
I'd suggest wearing something like a wetsuit shirt in the pool until it goes away. If anyone asks, just tell them what happened. Providing they're not completely fucking stupid, they should understand.
#6 - On 04/08/2009 at 6:32am by DeeJayD
Today, I took my two sons, aged 7 and 11, to the local swimming pool. When the swimming instructor turned around, I saw that he had 'I Love Little Boys' burned into his back. FML.
Nah, no one's gunna take it seriously. If you DID love little boys, I'm sure you'd be a little more subtle than that.
#10 - On 04/08/2009 at 6:35am by trynightday
wouldn't you be able to feel that she was writing, not spreading sunscreen everywhere?
#12 - On 04/08/2009 at 6:44am by you_not_me_OWNED
I think your girlfriend has an awesome sense of humor lol. People will understand anyway. Unless you're an octopus, it's impossible for anyone to write something on their backs. And no perverted paedophile will advertise his fascination with little boys so openly.
It's fine. Lucky you. Cool girlfriend you have,
I agree with #12...how could you not notice something like that? Are you some kind of moron? And to everyone else, it was a joke. Don't take it so seriously. It doesn't make his gf a perv. I'm positive someone else would do the same thing if they had a chance. I know I would. At least I'm honest.
#16 - On 04/08/2009 at 6:48am by Stay_beautiful
Your girlfriend is dumb. FYL.
And even if people WOULD understand the joke, who would want to EXPLAIN it all the time, until it went away?
#17 - On 04/08/2009 at 6:51am by xOpheliacx
HAHAHAHA
Made my day...
Do you live in Florida or something? Because it snowing and miserable where I live...:-(
Your girlfriend rocks.
I bet she and I would be friends. :)
#20 - On 04/08/2009 at 7:40am by musicsnob79
Yeah, I was thinking the same as #12, how would you not notice she was writing rather than massaging the stuff into your skin?
I agree with #1 - jokes like that are never funny. The OP does not need to "lighten up" and his girlfriend does not have an awesome sense of humor. The media has several people all wound up about pedophiles and child abuse. All it would take is one overly cautious parent to see that, and the police will end up being called. Just because some people think it's cool doesn't mean everyone, especially people with small children, are going to see it that way.
Haha you should of thought about that in the first place, you practically fucked yourself. YDI
#23 - On 04/08/2009 at 8:05am by itsTiffany
i dont get this. you forgot another part of the story. were you at work and people saw, or at home and your parents saw, what? its only FML if something funny happened in the end. you just ended with "i work as a childrens swimming instructor". so? i work as a salesman. just cuz somebody wrote somthing on my back doesnt mean my life is fucked
#25 - On 04/08/2009 at 8:11am by deuce_wild
#25, you and a long string of people are assholes for determining if this particular FML is actually an FML. It's here, posted and apparently the MOD thought it was an FML, so STUF and go bitch somewhere else.
#26 - On 04/08/2009 at 8:48am by notsodelighted
Why would you not notice that your girlfriend was writing something with a fingertip rather than rubbing the cream on with her palms? The options:
A: You were asleep (stupid to sleep in the sun).
B: You were drunk (stupid to drink in the sun, as it can lead to A).
C: You knew she was writing something but didn't know what and didn't bother to find out (Just plain stupid).
D: You're making this up.
#1 and #22 - It's assholes like you that refuse to listen to anything. Yes, there's child abuse. Yes, there are molesters and pedos. But there are also people who are patient enough to listen to him explain. So please. Take your whiny asses somewhere else. It's a situation his girlfriend took advantage of. Suck it up.
#25 - Unless you have to walk around shirtless for your job, you can't relate. So shut up.
As for the OP, that sucks that your girlfriend pulled that on you. Especially with that job. Just explain if asked. Hopefully they're not totally ignorant. Until it wears off, just wear a shirt.
That was a horrible thing to do - even if you hadn't worked as a children's swimming instructo! That you do only makes 100 times worse. I hope she feels terribly ashamed of herself.
What a shitty sense of humour! Your girlfriend might possibly be a dumbass.. or secretly hate you.
#34 - On 04/08/2009 at 10:16am by x_eyebrows
CHILD ABUSE IS NOT FUNNY...
THis Joke (FML) IS pretty funny and I already like your gf. With that said..
Whats the best thing about twenty seven year olds??
THERE ARE TWENTY OF THEM!
Relax people. its a joke. And dont abuse children
#36 - On 04/08/2009 at 10:35am by wompwompwomp
Can you introduce me to her if you're bailing out?
#39 - On 04/08/2009 at 11:06am by zlollerskatestim
i don't understand if it was just in sunscreen or if you got tan/burnt on/around the words....if it's the former then STOP COMPLAINING. if it's the latter then HA HAHAHAHAH
Really? You didn't notice that she only got a tiny portion of your back instead of rubbing it in all over? I call BS!
I can see this happening though you must have tanned for quite a while to get it to stand out enough for people to notice from a distance. Just sink down when you're teaching the water will distort the reflection and no one will know :) on the off chance someone does notice have her write a note explaining what she did and keep it in your cloths/gear bag (just in case)
how could you not realize she was doing that? It's not like she put it on your shirt... she put it on your skin. did you fall asleep? ugh...
#49 - On 04/08/2009 at 12:43pm by couldbeworse55
1. just wear something when you are teaching, if people ask just say my girlfriend wrote something on my back and i dont want people to see it
2. youre girlfriend is hilarious
3. while you should have noticed she was writing something, he could have been tricked. she could be like oh can i write something, making it sound like something nice or cute.. but then it turned out to be that haha
#53 - On 04/08/2009 at 1:37pm by vitaminsandminer
haha
what's wrong with loving little boys? They're cute XD people who see your back dont necessarily have to take it in a bad way XDD
haha thats a good one. i'd be pissed but its hilarious
#61 - On 04/08/2009 at 3:38pm by yumyum_isacult
i would dumb a bytch for that. she could have gotten you fired! what kind of girlfriend would embarass her boyfriend like that
super lol!!! i was drinking juice while i read that and almost spat it out!!!
#69 - On 04/08/2009 at 5:24pm by RiChY_BaBy08
"Today I took my son to learn how to swim. When we arrived, I noticed that the male swimming instructor had 'I LOVE LITTLE BOYS' burned into his flesh. FML"
#71 - On 04/08/2009 at 5:32pm by sydney9
My ex did this to me but with a penis on my back, didnt turn out too bad, since she started by sunscreaning my whole back
sketch-sketch-sketch-sketchyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. hahahaha ur girlfriend deserves 2 have statues in her name
#78 - On 04/08/2009 at 8:28pm by frenchfriez888
sketch-sketch-sketch-sketchyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. hahahaha ur girlfriend deserves 2 have statues in her name
#79 - On 04/08/2009 at 8:28pm by frenchfriez888
Your gf is an idiot and has a sick sense of humor. More over, how did you not feel that she was writing something on your back? Are you unfamiliar with getting lotion put on your back? Unfamiliar with backrubs? Completely oblivious to the fact that the sensation of a fully lotioned back feels different that someone writing in lotion on your back? Have fun with you idiot girlfriend. Sounds like a prize... NOT!
actually - to the guys who say you'd feel the writing...believe me.
You can fake the motions with one hand, and write with the other, so long as your other hand is cool. Assuming they were at a beach or pool or something, it was perfectly reasonable. I think this is hilarious.
But only cause its been done to me too...and this time its not me.
#87 - On 04/10/2009 at 11:53am by dvineinfekt
FAKE... sorry, but you'd know if someone was writing something on your back with sunscreen as opposed to rubbing it in
I suggest using Tiger Balm as lubricant. It is actually quite pleasurable for both, but the initial shock will scare her when you tell her this is payback.
:)
Wow you must be stupid if you didn't feel her WRITING on your back as opposed to RUBBING her hands in motion to rub the lotion on your back. Unless your body was NUMB.
wow and to #87, im pretty sure it would take quite a bit of skill to lead to the girlfriend writing "I love little boys." I'd like to see you try it without the other person realizing. Stupid.
#29--Thank you for being the only intelligent person on here.
#92 - On 04/14/2009 at 7:13am by Tipsybeaver
Wouldn't you know if they were trying to write something on your back? It would take a while to write that out, and they would be using one finger to write it, not both hands smearing everywhere. Usually peeople just use both hands and rub it on your back.
#93 - On 04/16/2009 at 7:01pm by Realfaction
Your gf was horrible to do that, as your career or job there is so much at stake especially on such a serious accusation.
Its not funny.
A lot of people seem to be wondering how the OP could have failed to notice that his girlfriend was writing on his back. It's possible that rather than making the words out of sunscreen, she put the sunscreen on everything BUT the letters--meaning that the letters would be the sunburned part, not the pale part. That's what I assumed when I read it.
I agree with the people who said that you should have been smart enough to feel that she wasn't speading it all over your back.
I want your girlfriend. She has WIN written all over her.
#104 - On 08/03/2009 at 2:42pm by Shyman4ever
Ever noticed how the words "thought it'd be funny" always come up just before something amazingly retarded happens?
