trade marked "the nutcracker" or "speed nuts"
objective: to improve finger reflexes
Description: like a speed bag for your fingers one ball for each index finger (boxing- speedbag)
Real life situations: no use to your fingers whatsoever
EXP 4 points for each stop you get from your boyfriend.
Risk potential cock block 40% ruin the mood 99%
reward: better mood for him 1%

29, just wow, i think i have played way too many video games. cause im pretty sure i understood what you just said. epic win though.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

I don't hope his sperm count is okay.

I don't want some guy that got his balls smacked and complained about it, yet can't even spell "ball sac" correctly, repopulating.

Be happy you got a BJ, you prude.

Wow, your a dick and a dumbass. Ball sack is spelled with a "k" you dumb fuc.

P.S. I know fuck is spelled with a "k." Didn't think your mind could handle sarcasm without further explanation.

haha tight

you're an idiot too.

you are = you're not your.

get it?

got it?

GOOD :)

have a good day!

uh oh an english major

Ohhhhh--look out for the grammar Nazi...her comes her whinebulance "WHA ,WHA, WHA, WHA, WHA"

Hey oldskoolman85, get your head out of your "@ss" before you start calling people dic(k)s and describing them as dumb.
Sac – a baglike structure in an animal, plant, or fungus, as one containing fluid.
Sack- a large bag of strong, coarsely woven material, as for grain, potatoes, or coal.

Oh, and by the way, "skool" is actually spelled school.

(Usually I don't care on any level about other peoples typing or spelling skills let alone correcting them. To each their own, but oldskoolman had it coming.)

yes, because being able to spell = intelligence.

oldskoolman... how old are you? i'm 16 and even i know ball sac is spelled WITHOUT a 'K'. haha, you must feel like a moron now!

Damn. FAIL

yeah but saying" you are mind" or as you so insist "you're mind" would be just wrong....sooo they are correct saying "your mind"
...just saying.....think before you criticize.

ok that fml made my day and the comment made my day even better
i fell of my chair laughing

You can spell it with both a k or without a k...

#137, ...Just saying...read before you criticise.

repopulating? you mean reproducing? repopulating would mean that the world's population is low and we're trying to make it higher.

lulz yeah tell me about it >.>

All this complaining about spelling and grammar and no one bothers to capitalize the first word of their sentences. Well most people don't bother.

haha thats awesome. sucks but it's hilarious all the same. totally give your girlfriend a high five for me? xDD

you shouldnt be having sex at 14.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

haha why not, i use a condom

It's a little disturbing to know that you and your fourteen year old girlfriend are having sex. Good for you for using a condom though.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

why thank you

Why you're having sex at 14 is beyond me ... Jesus. My best guy friend is 23 and still a virgin. and NO he isn't prude or gay .. only safe and smart. And yes. I just called you dumb #3 :)
EDIT; Not that gays are bad. I'm bi.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

its kuz i can and i love my girlfriend :] haha that sux for your friend but i would waited til i actually loved my girlfriend to fuck her

no one cares if youre doing it or not, plus its over the internet i could say im the presidents daughter and no one can prove that, but if its true, wow youre cool. "hey guys i 'love' my girlfriend, so im telling the world were having sex, and yes im only having sex with her cuz i love her not so i can tell people i have." idc if youre doing it, thats cool, im down with it, but announcing it on the internet bc youre young does not make you cool it makes you a pathetic loser FYI.

17 r u overweight?

You're 14 mate, you don't know what 'love' is.

#17 are you a moron?

You know, I'm not much of a prude myself, but even with protection... 14 just seems way too young to me. If you truly love her, you can wait for the fuck. Blowjobs and other alternatives are fine (see: facials, titty fuck, etc), but c'mon, you don't need to grow up so soon... not that bragging about sex on the Internet when you're 14 is very grown up at all.
Besides, you don't know shit about love at 14 anyway lol
Just saying, you pretty much don't know shit period at 14, but sex and love most definitely.
Ah well, FYL for giving it away so quickly and feeling the need to brag about it on the net.

It doesn't suck her friend is still a virgin. How do you figure? Virginity isn't some plague you need to cure immediately. Figures a fucked 14-year-old would think that... like I said, don't know shit about sex and love.
Though the "he's being safe and smart" comment was stupid in itself, too, of course. Just because you reserve yourself doesn't mean you're not going to get an STD.

@OP: YEOWCH! Tell her that hurts, man! At least, I hope you did.
Well, at least she knows you're not into kink? No dominatrix for you eh? lol... you'll be laughing about this eventually.

well said

-- or get someone preggers (damn edit limit).
I suppose for a girl it could be considered "smart" since usually it hurts, so you'd like to wait for a somebody you can really connect with and thus feel secure enough to have a quick sob and/or snuggle. Wouldn't say it's any safer though.
I mean, it's true "the best birth control is self control" ... it doesn't mean all condoms and pills and whatnot are COMPLETELY useless. So yeah, 17, I see what you're saying, but you lost me there.

I agree completely

Don't repopulate. We don't need any more dumbasses.

#43, I completely agree with you. 14 is way too young. Wtf is wrong with people and their mindsets, seriously.

@#37
What has love got to do with slapping someones balls?
That's fucking pain!

@22 youre a dumbass.
you claim you did it when you LOVE her, god knows how stupid you must be to say that, but then you discuss it as fucking, and brag about it online of all places. thats some stupid shit right there.
not that im saying 14 is too young or any of that shit, personally if she was my kid id disown her for being a tarty whore fucking someone as goddamn stupid as you, but if it was a decent relationship and she found someone worthwhile, then id probably accept it.
but no youre just too stupid for words, so i think you should triple layer those condoms cos we dont want you and your stupidity spreading any earlier than it has to.

He's probably some white trash that's parents had sex at 14 and had him. Loll and yeah, sonny, you totally know what love is at 14. I've been through middle school and high school, do you know how many teens think they 'loved' their gfs or bfs? A lot and they end up breaking up in about a month. Lolll teens these days, so pathetic.

@113...youre just proving how stupid you are..triple layering condoms just makes them easier to break dont be a fucking dumbass

Oh, it's you! You're the same dude who was bragging all over that FML with the twelve year olds, and the kissing, and the 17 year old, and the not kissing.

It's seems you need to keep your 'romantic' 'exploits' to yourself, cause, face it: most people on the internet don't care about that shit.

@ #37: Even though that's probably true more often than not, it's not always necessarily the case. You can't say that someone doesn't know what love is just because they're young. It's unfair to stereotype an entire age group like that. Physical age =/= maturity.

Apparantly millions of people around the world think Juliet was in love, and she was 13.

I agree that it's immature to post your sex life in the net at 14, but don't diss the love just because he's young. Some adults don't know what love is either, but think they have a right to tell people younger than them that they don't know what they're talking about.

@#3 probably hasn't had sex in his life let alone a blow job.

OP: Sucks for your balls, but look on the bright side, you still got a blow job.

Juliet is a fictional character, for one
And two, yeah, she was full of shit. The love itself was full of shit. Ever actually read it? It's so bullshit cheesy I can't hardly stand it, and "Oh I can't live without my "significant other" so I'm gonna kill myself!" - the fuck is that? OHHH ROMANTIC, YEAHHH, definitely... seriously.

@131 first, it was a joke. second, dont remember claiming to be a condom expert. third, i still think youre full of shit.

Well his friends probably screwed some girls and he was sick of being the wussy virgin in the group. Happens. But yeah, it's kind of sickening as well.

@ 175 how am i full of shit? and im sorry but i didnt find the joke funny i think the least you could do if youre trying to get uneducated dumbasses to stop procreating would be to give them advice that would actually stop them for reproducing, not flood the gene pool with more uneducated dumbasses.

@187 i forgive you. and full of shit being i dont believe triple layers would be much of an issue depending on how lubricated it is between each. even so, its unlikely all 3 layers would tear. but then as i said im no expert. and by not knowing the facts on condom layering doesnt make me stupid...hate to break it to you. especially when its a comment made in passing and not me sitting there with a full understanding of the properties of condoms and theorising a hypothesis on what might happen to them.
someone needs to become familiar with perspective and how to put things into it.

Yes DameGreyWolf, I've read the play, or else I wouldn't be using it as an example. I'm simply trying to say just because you're young doesn't mean you can't be in love. I'm sick of all these self-righteous people getting on teenagers, saying they can't fathom what love is. I mean, I'm not uber-young (like 14) or anything, but come on, it can get just a little repetitive.

@ 22: LOL you think you know the first thing about love? Please. If you two really loved eachother, you would have waited to have intimate relations. I'm sorry but if you think you're in love at 14, then you must have some issues.

P.S: It's really lame to brag about things that never happened *hint hint*

OP: Ouch, I hope you told her that hurts. Sorry about that, maybe it'll be better next time. :')

He doesn't have issues, he's just a normal 14 year old idiot. And because he is one he doesn't know how to express his affections that he mistakes other than boning.

PS: Enough 14 year olds are having sex these days where it's not that unlikely

You do know that very few people here will get this joke right?

I think I got it. CSI parody, right? Not a very good one though. Horatio owns.

OP, at least you got some, even if it came along with pain.

Troll.

You'd be surprised, Tubasaurus, I know I was.

or***

(:

Perhaps she looked up the wrong definition of the word 'blow' before doing the job.

hot.

South Park wins!!!

I can't decide if you're a troll or if there're people like you actually out there who post this shit for us to see.

Nobody cares when your anniversary is. Love in general rarely works out and nearly never does with teenagers.

Time is irrelevant when you're a teenager. That's all I have to say.

@56: I knew a particularly douchey little ONLINE teenage couple once who thought they'd announce their one month anniversary on the forum we all went to.
Two posters responded by posting about their extremely better and much more wonderful ten minute anniversary lol

But anyway, yeah, people like this exist.

Could you handle being pregnant or getting an STD, regardless if you're using protection or not? Because any protection isn't 100% effective. If you're mature enough to handle it, then fine with me. Somehow, I don't think any 14-year-old is ready for that kind of stuff.

Wow what a stupid thing to say.....

@98...STD's among teenagers fucking in their own agegroup? HIGHLY unlikely. extremely. to the point of being stupid.

@57 If it's the "love' that doesnt work out then its not really love. Love on its own always works out. However that's not to say Love is enough to keep a marriage together, or even a realtionship alive. It's the other things that get in teh way. If the problem is in the actual act of loving then you're nto really in love.

Just wanted to add that I'm aware of how foolish I sound in that last post. No need to remind me. I couldnt think of a way to say it without sounding like a fool.

@115: Actually, equally likely. Or what, you don't think people can have STDs in the first place? Or are you actually saying that so long as you fuck within your age group you'll never get an STD?
Your logic makes no sense. Diseases don't care about ages.

98 wins the thread. This is WHY teens SHOULDN'T have sex, because they are highly unlikely to be mature enough to handle it... especially when they brag. Don't get me wrong, I don't really care (I think 15 and below is damned too young though), but a lot of teens are full of shit when they say they're "ready for the consequences" -- especially when they bitchfit about how they got preggers and were forced to drop out of school... [coughactualpeopleIknowcough].
Though of course that's not to say the alternatives I mentioned couldn't come with consequences of their own... (swallowing and open sores on the skin COULD spread disease, too), but they ARE safer alternatives for sexual gratification.

@121 Gotta say you're right there, but would you agree that as teenagers, it's lust rather than love?

I would say a lot of the time yes, it's more lust than actual love. Or else some shadowy imitation of love. However I happen to know one couple who started dating when they were twelve. They are now in their mid 40's (I think 46 but not quite sure) and still together and quite happily, so on occasion, it really is love.

#98
I don't know how other people treat this, but I think any parent who wouldn't have their teenage daughter have an abortion is absolutely insane. And, I went through cancer/chemo, I'm 14, I highly doubt it's that inconceivable that we could handle most STDs. And, I can't imagine many teenagers have fatal/life ending STDs (yes, they could have them by having parents with them, but I'd imagine by the time you're 14 you'd know)

#143'

She didn't seem to be bragging , and I already said what I think about STDs and pregnencies for teens above.

@143
youre right, i was following the logic of the ratio of teenagers fucking to those who arent is very low, so disease wouldnt have spread even if there were the odd individual here and there who has got one for some reason. disease doesnt spread if theres nothing to spread it. but after looking it up it seems that they do have a higher incidence.
however, the data im reading says 15-24 year olds, which is way too broad a figure, but since i can find nothing else to go on i suppose i have no other choice. but theyre less likely to get serious infections, and are more likely to get things like chlamydia, and i did read an article suggesting in HIV dense populations teenagers (this one had up to 19 yr olds) are least likely to have HIV, so i still think its the safest time to be fucking.

I WAS GONNA PUT ThE SAME THINg!!

Yes. It's because you've hit your ball sac one too many times that you're children are going to be retarded.

Psssst.

Guess what.

Nobody gives a flying fuck if you moderated it.

That is all.

#46, I clicked on your profile. You piss me off. What's worse is that I live pretty near you.

"heyy ,
i love to text !
i texted over 10 000 last month .
so my bill was $400
my dad took away all my texts :P
i love music , i have over 1300 songs on my ipod .
i absolutely love fml.com i check it everyday :)"

@#62 Stop bitching.

@#46 Nobody cares!

agreed.

ow ow ow ow ow ow

Yeah that'll certainly show her lol

...
Unless she's into that kind of thing...

i LOL'd

Wow, I've never seen the OP comment their own FML.

You have balls dude, hope you don't get too much crap from other people.

That wasn't really the OP. if it was they would first of all have the same username and they would also have a little badge underneith the *thumbs up* and *thumbs down* buttons.

@165

haha.you don;t think it;s me.?
):

http://i26.tinypic.com/zvwt4h.jpg

Boatkicker, you do know that you make up a name when you submit FMLs, right? It's different from your FML account username.

It's only different from your account username if you're not logged in when you submit it. otherwise it automatically puts it as your username. I suppose its possible for the FML to have been submitted by the same person who at the time was not logged in and therefore they dont have the little badge thing. However I'm still going to say no, its probably not the OP.

@boatkicker

:(
well i did submit it.
i didn't make an Fml account till after.
i wanted to comment and didn;t know i needed one.
but ohkay.

Oddly enough yesterday I was having a conversation about balls being courage just yesterday. The most vulnerable part of a man represents courage and one of the strongest parts of a woman represents weakness. Pussy- strongest in terms of thats where we give birth, and that takes both strength, courage, and causes much pain. lol. It's kinda backwards. They should have chosen different body parts for both terms

amen

You have to be one of the ugliest people alive. It was most likely her first time giving a blow job, and although I frown upon that behavior, she probably didn't know what she was doing and therefore should be forgiven for slapping his balls around. (Also, I highly doubt she was slapping them around. The OP probably stretched the truth so he could go post the story on FML.)
I think someone should kick YOUR teeth out the next time you open your mouth. Loser.

sexist pig.

Right, because getting hit in the nuts and child birth are in the same ball park. You know, I think there's something about pushing a bowling ball out of your vagina that might be SLIGHTLY more painful than getting hit in the balls.

Yeah? Try it sometime. Twat.

agreed with ade, really nutshots hurt like hell but not that bad -_-

how exactly do you give pointers on your first time having never done it before...enlighten me, exactly how do you know what you do or dont like...did you just wake up after hitting puberty and going man, i like deepthroating, teabagging and rimjobs, awesome. cos i know the first time someone did that to me, i didnt know shit.

by the way, rimjobs are gross, why are you into that shit...

Lol.

Because he has a ton of hormones and can't think objectively. Also, he's 14 , he's horny.

Because he has a ton of hormones and can't think objectively. Also, he's 14 , he's horny. I'm 14 and wouldn't sleep with my girlfriend (if I had one =/ ) because I know most girls who have sex that young regret it. But, asking why a 14 year old would sleep with someone he thinks he loves is pretty ridiculous.

Edit: Oh crap, I didn't know that first one sent, I tried to stop it while it was sending but it didn't work :|

its been a month. its not like youve waited a year later...not exactly a big deal.
as for your last sentence, learn a little about male anatomy next time before you speak. if someone went down on you and drove a nail through your clit would you thank them afterwards?
a little perspective: if someone offered me a thousand dollars to kick me in the balls i wouldnt take it. and i sure as shit wouldnt pay a grand for a blowjob.

Did I say I want a nail through my clit? I meant smaller penises can't even touch the tip of it to stimulate it. And you're insulting me because I'm proud of myself I am still a virgin even though the temptation in high school is hard to resist? I don't care it's only been a month, I'm fucking happy with myself I didn't just lose it when I was in ninth grade like some people I know. I could definitly wait a year from now to have sex. At least I waited for something rather then just giving it up to the first guy who came along. So STFU.

I beg to differ - at fourteen you can still love someone. Maybe not a significant other but you can very well love your friends and family. I'm fourteen and I love my friends and family. And even so, there is never an age for love. It just happens. So don't say someone is too young to love just because you would stereotype them as too immature or something along those lines to know what love is. It's age discrimination.

I didn't mean you can't love your family members. Of course you can. But I hate that whole "age is just a number" thing. No it isn't. I don't care if people say they act mature because you know what? You're still 14. It's not age discrimination. It's called, you're young and hormonal and experiencing things for the first time and you get confused and think it's love when it isn't. When you get older and really fall in love with someone you will see the difference. I can't take you seriously seeing as how you are 14 yourself. You can be the most mature person ever but you're still a teenager. Age does matter. So sorry to you but that is the truth.

Shutup. You don't know at what age someone can be in love. It's different for everyone. I am now 19. I remember being in love when I was 14 and I was, indeed really in love and had a long, serious relationship. You cannot judge everyone just because you feel you could not have been in love when you were young.

I think it's harder to experience love at fourteen and they're more impressionable and confused, but I still think it's possible. I think when people are on their high horse and am like, "Look at me! I'm out of high school! I'm sooo smart and have so much worldly knowledge that I can tell people a few years younger than me what they are and aren't feeling because I've waited to have sex until I'm out of high school," well, I think that's slightly immature. There are a lot of people at eighteen and nineteen who still don't know what love is, and it all depends on the maturity of the person. Heck, there are forty year olds who aren't mature enough to love someone like that and be in a mature relationship. So, essentially, I don't think it depends on a person's age.

@#19

What? That was fucking random.

south park reference :)

You're barely out of high school, and yet you're acting as if you're 50, and have been in love with someone for 20 years, married, and have kids with them. Who are you to say that fourteen year olds can't be in love? Yes, people who say, to an entire world on the internet, 'I love my gf/bf soooo much and it's soooo amazing that we've had sex already!' is immature, and yes, it is harder for people at that age to fall in love, but it's not impossible. Having sex is a big decision and a very mature one, and it's good that you waited until you're out of high school, but love and sex don't exactly equal each other.

@119 "Did I say I want a nail through my clit? I meant smaller penises can't even touch the tip of it to stimulate it."

what are you even talking about. i was comparing the fact that you claimed he should be happy that shes even going down on him and not complain even though it causes him a great deal of pain to the exact same thing happening to you. where the hell you even got the whole penis size vs clit stimulation thing from i dont even know.

"And you're insulting me because I'm proud of myself I am still a virgin even though the temptation in high school is hard to resist? I don't care it's only been a month, I'm fucking happy with myself I didn't just lose it when I was in ninth grade like some people I know."

someones unfamiliar with what an insult really is...i believe i said "thats not a big deal" i didnt say "god youre such a self involved tart". id appreciate it if you could at least understand whats going on before responding, thatd save me the time of writing messages like these to remind you that you dont know what youre talking about.

because not only is having sex at 14 irresponsible but wrong.

I see your 13 so at least wait until you can get a decent paying job to support a kid (you never know)
That is I'm assuming you didn't have sex at 13 (EWWWWW)
Oh well if you did you're considered a slut by society.

Wrong? How so?

You know, birth control exists, and if all else fails abortion (It's legal, and any parent who wouldn't let their 14 year old daughter get one is seriously fucked up in the head). I plan on getting a vasectomy when I'm 18 so I don't need the former and won't put anyone through the latter.

Society thinking any girl who has sex young is a slut is one of the lesser reasons why I wouldn't have sex with my Girlfriend if I had one, I don't want to make her look bad. But "society doesn't like it, so it's wrong" not a very convincing argument.

Oh how obvious it is that you're still sorta-young.

You don't have to read the novels -_- , and besides they're actually interesting.

I know the mind of a 14 year old personally, I am one. There is no way these kids could reliably decipher they're in love and not lust. I'm not saying that 14 year olds can't fall in love, though.

Agreed on the grammar, sorta. If a comment has chat speak or is hard to read than we need to get grammar nazis on that person ASAP.

It's not that serious? Who the fuck cares? It's fun to argue over things like this.

no you dont know every 14/ 15 year old mind, you know your mind. being 14 doesnt mean that you can speak for every other 14 yr old. im not saying its right for him to have sex being so young. but he commented that on an fml. the percent chance of that being completely fictitous is pretty high. every one is arguing for nothing, dont people have work and lives they should be focusing on? ( thats a rhetorical question. i dont need anyone getting mad for no reason). that kid was lieing he said it to get attention from everyone. and he got it.