Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
But… boobs
Today, my boyfriend has spent weeks trying to get me to cancel my breast reduction surgery, for selfish reasons obviously, even though he knows how bad my spinal problems are getting. I don’t want a hunched back in my thirties, but all he cares about is his sex life. FML
Nice guy
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Feeders
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Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Nice guy
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted him to be a little more masculine and dominant in the bedroom. He broke up with me because I'm not "feminist enough". FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML
Today, my doctor told me I should consider a breast reduction. I'm a man. FML
Top comments
Pwn17 25
I guess he isn't looking out for your breast interests.
DocBastard 38
Good riddance. Leave the idiot be. You're much better off without ... Wait, REDUCTION?? Why would you do such a thing? WHY? NOOOOOO!!
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Comments (242)
addioty 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Atleast he isn't asking for breast milk.
\ 28
she could be trying to protect her modesty and her BF thinks he's the only one watching.
HarleyBlues 24
^what?
Sir_drink_alot 20
#27 apparently government shutdown has effected FML comments :)
HarleyBlues 24
I'm so tired of that bullshit.
\ 28
"Government shutdown" to me is the equivalent of a 3-year old kid threatening another kid by saying he'll never play with him again.
Ari1337 15
except a whole country gets screwed over in the process.
Bloink 25
Reference! +1
bassbadass 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
But, nothing can happen that breast reduction surgery becomes "much-needed", be proud of it. a lot of girls would kill to have ones that big
addioty 19
118, you obviously don't know that breasts aren't just all about appearance. They are ******* weights on your chest. They become problematic - back problems, hard time shopping for bras and/or clothes, and sometimes, it becomes too much. After reading the FML, you can infer it was probably due to the effects the breasts had on her.
EverdreamOfMe 24
Do research first before sprouting off such "facts," because it makes you look stupid when you get things wrong.
ChevyRedneck85 13
#94 how exactly can it get any worse? we are in the threshold of hell under Oblabla
yellowaholic 25
Sounds to me like he is being the selfish one..
jondivey 9
one other way to kind of fix this is to get a really strong back.
ahd94 21
#118 is only 15 years old. Give em a break - he probably hasn't learned much about the female anatomy quite yet haha
ashleyylove3 22
Hahahaha good one #1!!
Kovu_fml 16
Facts? Mine are H cups and I can't wait to get them reduced. The back pain is horrible. I've got permanent dents in my shoulder muscles from the straps. I can't buy bras in stores. Have to special order. I Don't own a swim suit because that's way too much to get one that supports them. I wish I could donate half of them to a woman with breast cancer or something. :( yes my ex boyfriend thought they were wonderful. But I cannot go running because even wearing a proper fitting sports bra they bounce so much it hurts. ;( they're so big and wide they make me look extremely overweight even though my waist isn't that big. So yes. Reasons like that are reason for it to be much needed.
ShyAnn29 14
167, that sounds awful, I bet it's very frustrating! I can kind of relate, I'm a DD
Brownie101abc 7
She could even be preventing breast cancer a**hole
EverdreamOfMe 24
I know this is old but I was looking through my old comments and I noticed all the thumbs down so I want to clarify something. I don't blame all the thumbs down because it appears that I was being a asshole and replying to #122, but in truth I wasn't. I think I was replying to #118 in my #126 comment or someone who deleted their comment. Not sure because it's been so long. Apologies if I was rude.
Emma1562 35
Breast milk is the best milk
TheCaramelKing 11
gay
alphatoomega 21
Reduction, not enlargement. Wanting your gf to have big breasts is kind of the opposite of gay. I'm not defending him, mind you, but if you're going to insult someone, do it properly.
Pwn17 25
2's comment originally just said "Gay," but then he edited it to what it says now.
SoliDSt33L 33
Good riddance, OP - your boyfriend is a nonsensical asshat. You are sure to find someone who is better than he is. Good luck
TheCaramelKing 11
I made it say gay so I could think of something I actually wanted to say.
Pwn17 25
I guess he isn't looking out for your breast interests.
s13495 19
He sounds like a complete tit :/
ThatFancyPenn 18
#3 did you just
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
go there? Yes 69, he did.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
It's funny because turn "3" sideways.
nhbasskid13 23
And 69, too. Did you miss the other immature sexual joke, 114?
gc327072 30
Don't worry 147, I'll be the 12-year old in this thread. HAHA LOLOL 69!!! xD
PandaSmile 24
Well at least you know why he was with you? Sorry to hear that OP, best wishes for the surgery!
NoMore_CoolNames 14
Or maybe the boobs we're just a bonus.
hashshim 23
37: If that were the case, he wouldn't have dumped her.
Catkam623 27
@pandasmile I cannot believe you missed the chance to say breast wishes for the surgery
summerguy97 16
She shouldn't worry, soon she'll find a guy who'll love her for her brain boobs, and not her body boobs.
PandaSmile 24
I felt like the community would shun me for that one
Catkam623 27
What us shun or judge someone? NEVER...
DocBastard 38
Good riddance. Leave the idiot be. You're much better off without ... Wait, REDUCTION?? Why would you do such a thing? WHY? NOOOOOO!!
SarMarJo 17
I used to have huge boobs and they were a pain in the ass. They gave me back problems and they got in the way of everything. It was a curse. But I got reduction surgery and it's much better.
DocBastard 38
SarMarJo - *pssst* I know. It's a joke.
BriCx 8
My mother had to have a reduction too. It's not like women who get them go down to A cups, just a size or two smaller to make them more manageable.
WellThatSucked89 13
Haha. That was funny. You just corrected a SURGEON! I do believe he knows health risks of large breasts...
fakedsincerity 32
fml rule #7: you may not joke without someone getting butthurt.
BronayPonay 6
I've always been curious as to how DocBastard, a surgeon, has so much time on their hands to be on FML so much. Teach me your ways.
SarMarJo 17
Doc, I wasn't correcting you. :) I was just putting my experiences on here for everyone on FML to read and then possibly down vote me. ;) just my experience, people. No butthurt here!
DocBastard 38
BronayPonay - Do you really think I am in the operating room 24 hours a day? SarMarJo - No worries.
SarMarJo 17
It's okay, Doc. We know you have a life outside of the workplace. :)
Chloe555_fml 27
Medical people don't sleep.
BronayPonay 6
DocBastard - Of course not, but I do imagine you do other things with your time.
RedPillSucks 31
Sorry, I couldn't resist... BOOBS ARE A PAIN IN THE ASS?
dawnimus 21
Bronayponay, I work insane hours (as I'm sure Doc does), but I travel via train to get to work and usually go on FML then. Maybe Doc does something similar?
yupitssoph 18
That was such an original, funny joke. Good one.
tackblog 14
Exactly. Breast shrinkage should be a crime.
aljop 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You mean ex boyfriend I hope
XanderScythe 11
Why did this get downvoted? He was correcting himself.
britneybrookes 3
Ya why did it get negative votes? Makes noooo sense...
smithv171 17
Well, if that's how he reacted, sounds like you'll be better off without that jerk anyways. Head up, OP! :)
neppy 6
What a dick. If your breasts are large enough to be causing you issues you definitely need some surgery. Some people don't realise that having enormous breasts can severely reduce a woman's quality of life - after all, they're these huge heavy things attached to her chest 24/7. I hope you enjoy your smaller breasts and find a boyfriend who will appreciate them and you!
SoliDSt33L 33
Good riddance, OP - your now ex-boyfriend is a complete asshat. You are sure to find someone who is better than he is. Good luck
LowExpectations 30
It's incredible how selfish some people can be. OP, your now ex did you a favor by showing you what a child he is. Wish you the best on your surgery.
BlueSteele 7
tell him he is all the boob you need.. you are doing what's breast for you..
ottokat 15
take a step back and look at what you've done
zandalee 19
Good luck with surgery OP! Keep us abreast with the situation... ;)