Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part? He was by himself. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML
Today, I just received the king-sized bed I'd ordered. My boyfriend moved out two days ago when we broke up. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML
Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, my boyfriend are I are staying at his parents' while they are away. While having sex in their bed, the whole bed went crashing to the floor. We have no idea what to do, and we leave tomorrow. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend jumping on my bed exclaiming that he had "won the lottery." He broke the bed. Turns out he only won £15.80. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 31
Palmela Handerson likes it rough.
teamlightskin 14
How in the world did he manage to do that??
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Comments (92)
DJisHere11 19
I suck.
buddy51 23
Is there a button for that?
angeluv_2014 22
How was it sex if he was by himself??
biggestfan23 11
#1 your profile pic is awesome though. Born Sinner!!
salazara 10
Methinks he got a wee bit carried away.
depocadoll 15
He... probably wasn't alone.
mr_sarcastic416 29
You're right, he was with "Jill" (if you don't get it, Google it ppl)
mr_sarcastic416 29
you're right #66 he wasn't alone, he was with "Jill"
teamlightskin 14
How in the world did he manage to do that??
jkmartinjk 16
Going hard with the right hand. If you catch my drift.
Chazzzor 10
Bullshit - He wasn't by himself.
BlueFlatts 20
Maybe he lied and broke the bed by jumping on it.
zonkeymaker 14
My exact thoughts
RedPillSucks 31
Palmela Handerson likes it rough.
Ambient25 24
Damn I just used that joke a few FMLs ago :(
BntyHntrSeattle 30
16- cool story, bro.
OneGirlTwoCups 13
16- Cry about it.
jacsoccerdude3 10
3- or Lindsay LoHand?
redbandit9877 12
Why would anyone want to break a bed during sex? It's not worth what you have to pay afterward.
Dracoboxer357 35
4- Bragging rights. Just feeding the ego.v;p
Ambient25 24
Did she just say what I think she said?? Who would NOT want to break a bed during sex...
FimogenFeels 14
Breaking a bed? That's just odd.
Jea2096 11
Awkward.
firstbasemaster 15
Time to get a new boyfriend
RedPillSucks 31
Well, definitely a new bed, though...
ElricMustang 23
I don't even have to look at your profile to know you're under 16. Your comment says it all.
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
...and his username, AND his profile (if you do care enough to look).
RedPillSucks 31
Well, he does love baseball, so maybe his user name is referring to his mastery of getting on base. No? Oh well. I never remember what all those sexual bases mean anyway. Is first base a kiss or feeling up?
Baytheshark 14
#40 First base is kissing, feeling up is usually classified as second base.
DKjazz 20
Is it possible to steal bases? What does it mean if there are three men on base?
RedPillSucks 31
Means that she likes it hard and will definitely need a new bed
vintaqe 28
If its already on the floor, you can't break it again. Lose/win situation.
xTrepidation 14
Oh my goodness I'm sorry OP. I hope he actually feels terrible about it. I have to say though a bed that lasted 150 years is impressive regardless!
pedinhuh 23
Soo he does it better with his hand??? something is wrong with him, and how did he managed to do that? Now I want to see what kind of excuse he will give to his family.
Raykyogrou03 12
It's not really considered sex when you're by yourself
iAlissa 34
Would've never guessed