Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I gave my hubby a hand massage as he's beginning to deal with carpal tunnel issues. He then proceeded to tell me, and I quote, "This is the consequences of not properly stretching as a young guy. I did stretch pussy though." FML
Today, my SO almost passed out during sex due to his lack of physical activity. I've forced him to start going to the gym. FML
Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML
Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML
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Top comments
BlueMoonCafe 12
Better safe than sorry.
SWC_Penguin 17
Let me guess. He doesn't stretch but rather sits and watches YOU stretch.
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Comments (113)
BlueMoonCafe 12
Better safe than sorry.
Shieeeeeeeeeeeet 6
Smart boyfriend is smart.
soccerstar1996 18
Did you stretch your groin and glutes out well?
tygerarmy 35
Partner stretching can be part of the foreplay. And can get you both flexible enough to start getting into more creative positions.
Punny 3
Its a thoughtful and considerate choice. at least he cares
Sekkaichi 12
He's safer than you are OP, he's a keeper. (:
killaach 6
So he cares about your safety and this is an FML how......
MuseFan1991 14
cramp during sex is a real passion killer. takes it someone who knows :/
princessEll 25
Aslong as the sex was safe too, OP.
CareFace 16
Seems that way; they stretched before and after!
SWC_Penguin 17
Let me guess. He doesn't stretch but rather sits and watches YOU stretch.
Wimoweh 10
Seems legit.
inthedopeshow 17
He could be trying to ease her into the idea of tantric sex!
KayleeT 9
You can never be too careful .. Don't want to pull a muscle or anything ...
SMHsohard 22
I once got a thigh cramp. I was in agony. He thought he was rocking my world.
HiIAmKevin 8
That's because I was.
kemic 7
That should have been an FML, #31
iLike2Teabag 27
Every sprinter knows that they should stretch, or else they choke when they try to make the big finish. If you know what I mean.
lilhellian 26
Big finish. Going for the gold, where fireworks go off when he crosses the finish line?!:O
firefighter925 18
#26 Go home
ironichalibut 24
And everyone knows, if you choke during the big finish, you may find yourself choking the chicken.
scr_sensei 14
On the other hand, some people like choking during sex.
lyflycat9297 4
*wiggles eyebrows*
swimagirl4321 15
At least he cares about you
alycion 38
Or he is just totally screwing with op for the fun of it.
ilovedinosawers 17
You don't want to pull a muscle. That is no fun. He's looking out for your best interests.
juliaannw 11
Gotta avoid those cramps!
Ambient25 24
Are there like Kama Sutra moves going on?
zandalee 19
That's what I was thinking. Just how strenuous does OP's man get?!
rg350dx 29
Sounds like some wild sex will go down. And it's always good to stretch. Should do it every morning.
CobraLazerFace 21
Your profile image is perfect, it looks all like " Who said wild sex? mmmhmmm..."