Intimacy: Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up....

By married an old man - 05/03/2013 17:57 - United States - Rancho Mirage

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 058

You deserved it 6 726

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Same thing different taste

By unwantedlove - 25/02/2011 18:36 - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 145

You deserved it 6 906

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 460

You deserved it 6 663

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 588

You deserved it 2 696

By MyLife - 06/02/2013 08:04

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 549

You deserved it 2 629

Denied

By Anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:28 - Canada

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 732

You deserved it 4 481

What are you doing?

By Noname - 20/02/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 393

You deserved it 19 386

Buzzing the tower

By Princess ? - 12/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 280

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 779

You deserved it 5 478

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 168

You deserved it 5 611

By Busted - 21/10/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 188

You deserved it 4 268

rangerPat 12

Tuesday 5 March 2013 22:55

I'll take dick husbands for a thousand, Alex.

beehardxcore 26

Tuesday 5 March 2013 22:57

What is "how to effectively ****-block oneself?"

Comments

rangerPat 12

Tuesday 5 March 2013 22:55

I'll take dick husbands for a thousand, Alex.

kevsandy303 12

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:00

"This man is known for rejecting sexual activity to watch gameshows." "What is... Morgan Freeman?" "Incorrect" "What is... OP's husband?" "Correct!"

MikeonFML 17

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:26

Who is*

ry24 12

Wednesday 6 March 2013 7:22

#63 I think you are just stereotyping males all out to be sex driven animals now

BRLHP 24

Tuesday 5 March 2013 22:55

Tell him you want to play "double jeopardy"

upyourzlolz 11

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:16

Or he scored the Daily Double.

chanellgymnast 17

Wednesday 6 March 2013 7:55

Your username says it all, "married an old man". Too cute!

kevsandy303 12

Tuesday 5 March 2013 22:55

He likes brains over beauty. I don't see the problem

EnterSandman_fml 20

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:07

So do zombies.

ThePK 5

Wednesday 6 March 2013 0:48

Ironically enough, wives are generally considered the ones to push aside sexual advances.

beehardxcore 26

Tuesday 5 March 2013 22:57

What is "how to effectively ****-block oneself?"

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

Tuesday 5 March 2013 22:58

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Mopmob02 18

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:46

I kind of disagree, Jeopardy has its moments; plus Alex Trebek is a funny guy.

klutz44 28

Wednesday 6 March 2013 3:28

Next time DVR. Then you get sex and Jeopardy! Maybe your husband will be less whiney too.

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:00

What is a massive cockblock? Jeopardy!

HowieDoIt 21

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:30

"Not now, trabek in a little while...Alex -plain later."

mmaflake 19

Wednesday 6 March 2013 0:25

I expect more from you pleo. Well done Howie

your_wife_sucks 3

Wednesday 6 March 2013 4:55

anyone notice the op's name lol

Bubbelz 25

Wednesday 6 March 2013 7:17

Yep, yep... Perhaps he fears a heart attack; having sex at a high age can be dangerous!

beddington 7

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:01

I'm sorry, that answer is incorrect....must be made in the form of a question.

perdix 29

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:01

What is "You need to find a boyfriend?" I'll take Impotent Potables for 200, Alex.

l23VIVE 17

Wednesday 6 March 2013 16:20

Turd Ferguson. See it's a funny name

Hamz1989 13

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:02

What a saucy asshole. I guess it's time for no sex time-out.

lilhellian 26

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:10

But she's also in time out.. Wouldn't it punish her even more?

beddington 7

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:02

I'm sorry, that answer is incorrect....must be made in the form of a question.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Friends Teenagers Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Revenge Food Cats

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 28 183

You deserved it 47 587

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I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 547

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You deserved it 175

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I agree, your life sucks 50 712

You deserved it 3 310

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I agree, your life sucks 39 477

You deserved it 5 116

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You deserved it 3 117

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I agree, your life sucks 34 175

You deserved it 3 220

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I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 61

Same thing different taste

Denied

What are you doing?

Buzzing the tower

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