Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML
Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML
Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the end, my cat jumped up on the bed, saw the movement under the blanket and immediately pounced on my downstairs, puncturing certain delicate areas with his claws. FML
Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML
Today, it's been three years since my sister gave me a kitten. Coincidentally, it’s also been three years since I've had sex. FML
Today, as I was feeling frisky, I started to jack off. I was about to come when my cat attacked my hand and nether regions under the blanket. I really got the pussy, didn’t I? FML
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Top comments
deathbatchickk 8
Nothing wrong with two *******
JustAGirlOnFML 11
Soft kitty Warm kitty Little ball of fur Happy kitty Sleepy kitty Won't you feel my balls
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Comments (62)
deathbatchickk 8
Nothing wrong with two *******
perdix 29
Except when one of the ******* has teeth . . . and the other has teeth AND retractable claws.
hellbilly205 17
Doesn't matter had sex.
cradle6 13
That pussy is underage.
MrBrightside21 20
I think I saw watching a video similar to what you were saying perdix. Turns out I was just watching Predator.
LolPieRofl 11
What if it was a male kitty, then its a devils threesome! :0
Catkam623 27
Aww man male kitty played with OP's hacky sacs that can't feel right.
Jeffo193 13
You were in bed with two *******...definitely a threesome ;-)
smartman136 8
Technically on the floor.
Jeffo193 13
Oh, i must've misread that sentence...definitely going to get downvoted for that one...
JayFoShizzle 4
Gave you a sympathetic up vote Jeff, it was a funny comment regardless.
Smartdumbblonde 27
You mean on the floor, right?
Roevera 14
#32 I think we've established that already..
Jeffo193 13
There are times when the world of FML comments make little sense to me...this is one of them.
dannykilljoy 4
Jeff I would just go home and take a nap at this point.
Smartdumbblonde 27
#39 im sorry I didn't realize that someone pointed that out already, all I did was read the comment and asked a simple question.
ZombieSnoopy 9
Shes 24 down votes in that holes been dug and its about to hit China
ICastillo 24
Well OP you're doing something right. Not everybody get to have a threesome.
FastidiousPear 6
It depends on hotness. The cat might've been like a 4 at best. If it was an 8 or 9, then that's a threesome worth bragging about.
airforce987 20
Funniest. Mental image. Ever.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
You find odd things funny... o_O
littlekellilee 45
I guess you're a cat person now.
randomness247 4
More like, he's a pussy person now.
Googolman 29
More like, he's an ailurophile now.
JustAGirlOnFML 11
Soft kitty Warm kitty Little ball of fur Happy kitty Sleepy kitty Won't you feel my balls
TheDeafWalrus 8
I applaud you my good sir.
annie_nk 22
Soft kitty, Warm kitty. Little ball of fluff. Happy kitty. Sleepy kitty. Playing with my stuff.
JustAGirlOnFML 11
That's nice of you, but I am not a sir.
LolFMLnot 10
21 her username is "JustAGirlOnFmL".
onorexveritas 23
I applaud you GirlOnFML xD
BntyHntrSeattle 30
I think you just ruined that song for me. It's a shame I just ordered the shirt :(
Catkam623 27
I ordered soft woodie but suddenly I feel the need for soft kitty warm kitty little ball of fur happy kitty please don't claw my balls pur pur pur
Catkam623 27
*wookie (from skippys list),
naduskalove 3
Oh my God !!! I laughed so hard! Thank you for this epic comment !!
nycwrestler 17
Twice the pussy, twice the fun.
rivaraven 35
If that's what you're in to..
martin_martian7 11
Can it get any better? (:
perdix 29
Reminds me of that book, "Final Threesome," by Claude Balls.
Enslaved 36
Well, it reminds me of-- Honey came in and she caught me red-handed Creeping with the girl next door Picture this, we were both ass naked, banging on the. . . BATHROOM FLOOR! (psst it wasn't me)
21jason 9
You got the lyrics all messed up
Enslaved 36
There's a few-- but I guess you like the "butt" one.