Miscellaneous: Winds of change

Winds of change

By sting - 03/06/2017 04:00

Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 061

You deserved it 733

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Spider-man

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 16:00

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 1 305

Alas, poor Kermit

By traumatizedforlife - 05/08/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 412

You deserved it 6 800

Hidden

By fml9124 - 20/09/2019 14:00

Today, I saw a scorpion crawling across the kitchen floor. While trying to swat it towards the middle of the floor to prevent it from escaping as I looked for something to kill it with, my cat came to investigate. Kitty thought I was playing with a new toy and joined in by batting the scorpion under the oven. I know it's plotting its revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 167

Hello little guy

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 00:00

Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 104

By AquaKelly - 24/12/2014 01:48 - United States - Newark

Today, I set a trap to catch a mouse that ran across my foot. Not only did the trap shut on my finger twice, but I watched the mouse run over the trap without it snapping shut. I guess I have a new roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 813

You deserved it 4 757

Been here long?

By Anonymous - 14/10/2022 14:00

Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 143

By Unknown - 30/06/2014 01:05 - United States

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 914

You deserved it 7 199

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 283

You deserved it 14 256

By pinkXpress1023 - 08/07/2013 18:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 110

You deserved it 4 987

By ThatsIncentive - 15/12/2016 01:59 - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 949

You deserved it 1 135

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 3 June 2017 4:32

Did it rock you like a hurricane?

d3rpb0t 10

Saturday 3 June 2017 4:08

Mortal Kombat: The untold chronicles Seriously though, fyl op, especially if someone else placed them without the consideration of others.

Comments

1DisGR8 32

Saturday 3 June 2017 4:05

That's gotta sting

d3rpb0t 10

Saturday 3 June 2017 4:08

Mortal Kombat: The untold chronicles Seriously though, fyl op, especially if someone else placed them without the consideration of others.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 3 June 2017 4:32

Did it rock you like a hurricane?

Justine Malang 16

Saturday 3 June 2017 5:19

Ohhhhh damn.

Madrias 36

Saturday 3 June 2017 7:57

What has 8 legs, looks like a lobster crossed with a nightmare, and has the attitude of an angry wasp? Well, it's under your foot.

ghetto_child 19

Saturday 3 June 2017 8:20

If it wasn't dead then, it is now that you've stepped on it

Natanaru 6

Saturday 3 June 2017 11:08

Poor soul. Never been stung by one myself but my grandpa was out for a day when he got stung by one.

Lalala579121 27

Saturday 3 June 2017 11:37

I think "scorpion trap" is the most badass thing I've heard all week.

Glowworm56 26

Saturday 3 June 2017 14:12

I love the FML title for this one!

madlove88 5

Monday 5 June 2017 22:57

oh dang that sucks.

Keywords

Kids Music Names Work Customers Awkward Coworkers Bodyshaming Landlords Roommate Money Allergies Parents AITA Dogs Singing Cute Neighbours Embarrassing Accident Ironic Health Cats Animals Airport Love Sex Intimacy Cheating Relationship advice

The Top

Today, my dad brought home a used hunk of junk from someone he knew. It was covered in rust and dents, and the engine was making weird noises. Thinking he was being generous, he said to me, "When you get your license, you'll be driving it!" It then died with a loud bang and black smoke from under the hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 84

Today, my son claimed credit for a money-saving scheme at work that belonged to a colleague. He claimed this to someone in very upper management, but when they tried to ask follow-up questions, he obviously had no idea how to answer, admitted his lie and was sacked on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 422

The Top

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 355

You deserved it 61 094

Today, I realized that the only reason my boyfriend has been coming over to hang out at my house for the past two months is because my little brother has an N64. I have become a third wheel to their mario kart dates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 838

You deserved it 4 130

Today, I woke up with intense pain and bruising. It turned out I'd suffered such a rare kind of wrist bone dislocation that the doctors aren't sure how to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 748

You deserved it 1 300

Today, my man complained about having to listen to my "emotional problems for hours." Yeah, we did talk for two hours, 90% of which was him asking for my advice on which new mattress to buy for his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 117

Today, my thoughts that I'm going crazy were confirmed when I got into the shower with my socks on. The worst part is that I didn't realize it for a good five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 299

You deserved it 5 481

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 1 705