Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML
Today, I had my first astounding orgasm, during which I simultaneously shat myself and vomited. I'm so thankful my new partner was present. FML
Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriend's shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, I met this girl on a party and things were going really well. We ended up getting it on in my room and I was about to do my thing after confidently having bragged the whole night that I was the inspiration of the 50 shades of Grey series. Well, guess who got a whiskey dick… FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
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Top comments
ariverperson 11
urine a bit of a messy situation there
perdix 29
Tell everyone you're a "squirter," because that's a lot sexier than "bed-wetter."
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Comments (142)
tomhofer 14
That would put me in a pissy mood (haha)
Catkam623 27
I simply feel bad for the cleaner with her shitty husband pissing all her money away and the problems of living by such a wet location.
rokemay 10
15 - What?
rokemay 10
...
aly_goes_rawr 3
DAMN YOU THAT WAS WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY!
razzberry 9
At least you got off?
U_GotitDude 18
But was it worth it?
CCSA 12
50- I guess OP might not totally enjoy the moment (or the moment shortly after), hence the FML, but there are definitely females who love such experience and consider it "worth it"
onlychildFTW 33
I think as long as you get off its a good thing.
IscoreOnU 19
Women would find a way to complain about orgasming lol
ariverperson 11
urine a bit of a messy situation there
taka805 10
Nice!!!
FlubbaBubba 12
I bet OP was a bit peeved after that incident.
ChazzyWazzy1998 10
There's a button for that #75 -_-
johobus28 26
Get out.
micahdunk 13
Never to young to wet the bed I guess.
StalkerChick 13
Old?
micahdunk 13
Yeah. Commenting when you are half asleep isn't smart. I realized my mistake just as my edit time ran out.
ilovegordon 6
*Too young. Come on now, focus!
Sinamoi 18
Says the guy who missed the whole conversation above about her being too *old, not young.
perdix 29
Tell everyone you're a "squirter," because that's a lot sexier than "bed-wetter."
rockstar362 8
Can I have your autograph?
T9FTW 20
Why? You're the rockstar..
rockstar362 8
Touché
Stalkerloo 11
At least it wasn't on a store's floor.
cliffibom 15
I'd rather piss on the floor
howdeedoo 22
6-Why would they be having sex on a store's floor?
Jordath_Fil 11
Obviously 58 you have never had sex in a store... During business hours... ;)
Ani28 10
#58, it's a reference to an earlier FML about a drunk man relieving himself on a shop floor after being told that the shop didn't sell alcohol.
tigersman1c 19
i have, it was fun.
nigsuzzi 3
Based on 92s comment combined with his amazing self pic, I think we found that drunk!
SuperDanielNL 23
Well that's total satisfaction for ya... Good luck cleaning though.
zombieslayer83 19
All that matters is that it was intense.
DEATHBYEX1LE 11
and wet
ICastillo 24
That's not bad, I piss on everything on purpose. That's how I mark my territory.... Girls get mad at me when I do this, I don't know why...
buying_mace 5
You must be a relative of my husband. He does the same thing.
willbur73q 7
Weird comment. Yet I had to thumb it up.
His_Holiness 18
Is your name R Kelly by chance?
kobelstone23 13
I'm i the only one wondering why her husband read 50 shades of grey?
Razi_tail 25
Guys can read love stories as well, don't be judgemental.
kobelstone23 13
But its not a love story its book ****:p
PincessBoff 6
#27 There's your answer. **** is **** to men! They don't care if its written down and put in a book or on a DVD. It's. All. ****.
Fanain 2
Isn't that more of a reason a guy would feel inclined to reading it?
PincessBoff 6
#31 Exactly my point, above your comment.
charlton2142 5
Technically she said partner, coulda been another chick
Chelsea_bella 20
Her partner is a guy. She said "He was right" in the next sentence.
jmacfan1 16
Technically op is a guy. Look up in the corner of the fml. Blue guy sign
Veratas 9
Note to self. Buy a mattress cover and 50 Shades of Grey.
rachelphillie 1
60- my app shows that OP is female..
sig4life 18
OP is a girl, and guys normally don't do written ****, we are usually visual while women are more mental. Pardon the pun.
evilplatypus 38
60 - It's not blue, it's purple. And it's not guy sign, it's the female sign.
tigersman1c 19
Actually guys are more visually stimulated while women are more into reading. Basicly, guy **** lots of pictures, girl **** has a story and plot. lol
dmblonde 13
61 you can actually just download it online for free ;P
sig4life 18
#97 you should hear the Gilbert Godfrey does 50 Shades of Gray. Check it out, google it, I bet you will never look at the book or Godfrey the same, you may even pee without having an O.
VXHavoc 3
I'm a guy. I'll read it. A lot of chicks are into it. So learn a few lessons maybe?
nonnieluv 9
It's called erotica not book ****. Also can go by romance novels
nunu76 4
i cudnt evn finish readn the book..messd up sadistic piece of shit
MuseFan1991 14
with grammar that bad, i'm not surprised you couldn't finish it. stick to the very hungry caterpillar