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Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

#195442 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (48245) - you totally deserved it (21097)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)

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Comments

Pwnd.

#1 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:17pm by Kyothine

tell her that if she wants you to go to tuna town then she better get used to your beef bus

#192 - On 03/20/2010 at 1:36am by chyeahbro

If she ever expects you to go down on her then just reply with sorry you know that won't happen, I'm not a cannibal.

#2 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:18pm by Tehalon

This comment has been moderated.

#3 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:20pm by JOEYPIZAZ

This comment has been moderated.

#4 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:20pm by broken_heart

You deserved it, you're dating a vegetarian.

#5 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:21pm by Cormophyte

and ydi for dating a dumb piece of shit

#179 - On 08/09/2009 at 10:23pm by goodtimesx2

I didn't know consuming bodily fluids was a carnivore activity. Does that mean she doesn't condone french kissing?

Unless she equates a blowjob to actually biting off a piece off your whatwhat. In that case, you should probably be grateful that she is a vegetarian.

#6 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:21pm by drybamboo

This comment has been moderated.

#7 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:21pm by DaftBrian

She's probably not comfortable with it then and you shouldn't be pressuring her...

#8 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:24pm by HebrewHammer

This comment has been moderated.

#9 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:24pm by courtneyissofuck

That's really not such a big deal. lol. Don't pressure her, if she doesn't want to do it then that's her choice, regardless of her reasoning.

#10 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:24pm by McLaughlane

If she's a vegetarian she *SHOULD* suck dick.. where else will she get her much needed proteïn?

#11 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:25pm by Xaos

Haha it was a cute let down. But, you need to drop her. What kind of girlfriend doesn't give blowjobs? I'd feel weird if I didn't give my boyfriend blowjobs.

#12 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:25pm by LittleMissMack

Unless you are regularly going down on her, you have no standing to complain. Like the orgasm gap wasn't wide enough without men expecting free head. Use a condom, and you're fine.

#13 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:25pm by texmas

HAHA what does she think your dicks a sausage, and yea screw vegetarians.

#14 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:26pm by Lucicx0

Ditch that bitch. Next to sex, eating is the most sensual thing there is. If she's not adventurous in the kitchen, it goes without saying that she won't be adventurous in the bedroom. Tell her to grow up and put her big girl panties on....well, actually tell her to pull them off and join the party ;)

#15 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:27pm by JuJuBeeSunshine

win!!!

#191 - On 02/28/2010 at 2:13pm by loludeserveit

It is not the first time I've heard of this. And #6 they are not the same thing at all.

#16 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:27pm by TBR

ha ha shes funny.



get rid of her.

#17 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:27pm by DEATHx2

yeah, i've actually used that excuse before.

@ 14, why screw vegetarians? unless you had a girlfriend who didn't suck you off because SHE was vegetarian, you should back off

15, 17, 18: you're assholes.

#18 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:32pm by krishna1791

#11. That's pretty funny.

#19 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:33pm by moralpolice

This comment has been moderated.

#20 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:34pm by mleeb

it's actually not that funny at all.

#21 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:34pm by krishna1791

...that's the lamest reason ever. She could just say, yanno, "I don't really want to."

#23 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:35pm by Seegtease

lol @ #18

you called yourself an asshole.

#24 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:35pm by LittleMissMack

Well how much more natural and meat free can you get than semen?
Tell her that! lol

#25 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:38pm by Makismo

Damn man, girls have the worst and most hurtful excuses. wtf is wrong with saying no

#26 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:39pm by ThatAznKiddEric

Well, that's what happens when you date a vegetarian. Don't expect them to make sense.

#27 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:45pm by alex_vik

Semen is vegetarian, but not vegan. If she is vegetarian, she was just using that as an excuse.

And as someone with personal experience, some vegetarians are plenty adventurous in the bedroom...

#28 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:46pm by cimcr8zee

"If she's a vegetarian she *SHOULD* suck dick.. where else will she get her much needed proteïn?"

ikr i'm a vegetarian but I always make an exception for mah man meat <3_<3 !~

#29 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:47pm by 0___0

Tell her it's tofu

#30 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:47pm by jESuS_lOVeS_mE69

lol

#188 - On 01/29/2010 at 7:06pm by talonbronson

Some vegetarians don't feel right consuming the bodily fluids of someone who eats meat... Or she could have just been making up an excuse because she's not ready. Either way, don't force it. You can always ASK HER what it is that makes her feel uncomfortable with it.

Fixing #2: If she ever expects you to go down on her then just reply with "Sorry, I don't eat fish."

For the record, I'm a vegetarian and I see nothing wrong with making that exception... ^_~

#31 - On 03/03/2009 at 5:59pm by Cloudy

lol! I like her sense of humor!

And I agree with #s 5, 8, 10, etc.

#12 - The non-slutty kind.

#32 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:03pm by Amkii

your girlfriend gives vegetarians a bad reputation. she should have come up with a lot better of an excuse to not beej you.

#33 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:06pm by eatinganapple

lmfao

#34 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:08pm by mandabbyx3

You've been owned.

#35 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:09pm by Vonnick

OHHH ! ultimate pwn lmfaoooo !

#36 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:11pm by xiheartjonas

Dress Mr. Bingbong up as a cucumber and she'll be on it in no time!

#37 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:13pm by csigabajnok

Haha! That just makes me laugh. :D

#38 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:13pm by Meeks

This comment has been moderated.

#39 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:16pm by PTERONOPHOBIA

im vegetarian but i also go down on boys
it depends on the girl and not what she is or isnt

#40 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:23pm by AClife

I think a lot of you are taking this way too literal. It was clearly a joke.
FTR you don't have to consume body fluids to give head. It's just the nice thing to do.

#41 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:26pm by mariposa93

I disagree with all the people saying you need to dump your girlfriend JUST because she wont give you a blow job. They probably think a true relationship is just sex. Your girlfriend is probably too nervous or shy to give a blow job. Or maybe she thinks it's gross. I kind of think eating someone out is gross. As some of the more sensible people said, don't pressure her to give you a blow job...if she wants to she will. So unless you are dating her just for the sex (if you are then you are a dick) you should just accept what she wants to do and what she doesn't and continue to love her.

#42 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:36pm by Cecona

Semen is vegan...

#43 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:38pm by nametags

Okay. Semen is both vegetarian and vegan approved, because it is a human fluid being given to another human consensually. The vegan problem with cow's milk is that it is being taken from the cow and its calf without consent (because animals can't consent).... so the excuse of being vegetarian or vegan is completely void. How about just saying, "Sorry babe, I really don't feel comfortable with oral sex." People are so dumb.

#44 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:40pm by liveitlearnit

i agree with number 42

#45 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:45pm by AClife

#11 is totally right.............
and thats sad she could have just said no if she didnt want to! thats just annoying she cant be honest!

#46 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:49pm by rachelforgot2

I'm a vegetarian and I'm calling bullshit. Semen isn't meat, it's a zygote, like eating chicken eggs. If your girlfriend is a vegan, maybe this holds up, but I'm assuming that she's not and is just using it as an excuse to get out of something she doesn't want to do. I recommend having a serious conversation and asking her (without accusing her of anything) if that's really the reason. If she's lying, there must be a reason, and you need to find out whether it's just embarrassment or something more serious.

If it's not an excuse and she's genuinely uncomfortable, use a condom during oral sex. You won't get as much sensation, unfortunately, but at least you'll get what you want in a way that doesn't compromise her principles.

And 14, I totally agree, screw vegetarians. We're fantastic in bed. ;-)

#47 - On 03/03/2009 at 6:58pm by wafflemonger

@ #11 got it in one.

@ #32 fuck off you prude. Do you think that someone is slutty because they give their partner head? They're probably slutty if they wear dresses that come above their knees too.

#48 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:11pm by baseline

Sucks (har har har) to be you, but at least she's funny.

#49 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:12pm by dight

This isn't an FML moment, this is just a bad joke.

If you want a blowjob that bad, cheat on her. Be ready for the repercussions, but you'll have your pole spit-shined.

What is more important?

#50 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:18pm by ohgodohgodohgod

Well, is she vegan? If so, tell her to spit. Otherwise, she'd better swallow that shit cause it isn't meat.

#51 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:21pm by MissFae

#32, don't you find it strange how the definition of "slut" has been slowly shifting from "a woman who has multiple sex partners over a short span of time" to "a monogamous woman in a heterosexual relationship who is aware of her significant other's needs and is happy to satisfy them because she loves and respects him"? I know I do. Too bad radical feminism (or that entitlement complex) makes it impossible for you to have a normal, mutually gratifying relationship because it's convinced you that ever, ever doing anything nice for someone of the opposite sex is "degrading".

#52 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:23pm by ohmygolly

You deserve a gold star. Or a blow job. But not from me, lol.

#176 - On 06/29/2009 at 10:51am by genius_man16

#44: Semen is vegan-approved, but it is not vegan. A vegan that is doing it for moral reasons probably will not have a moral problem with tasting/swallowing semen. However, people who are vegan are might get sick from this because their bodies are not used to consuming things that come from animals.

#53 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:23pm by cimcr8zee

#18, you just called yourself an asshole? Hahahha.

#54 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:27pm by Golden

That's so wtf.

#55 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:29pm by LaskovyjZajchik

I don't really understand how that violates vegetarian rules....

#56 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:35pm by silentfirefly

The punchline wasn't that she wasn't going to eat his cockmeat sandwich. It was the fact that he is dating a vegetarian.

A damn shame. FYL, buddy.

#57 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:36pm by EIDS

lmao

If she was joking, she's a keeper. If not, I feel sorry for you. :[

#58 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:47pm by burdenofaday

P.S. OP, have you tried telling your girlfriend that every sperm is sacred, and that every sperm is great? :)

#59 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:50pm by ohmygolly

Why does a girlfriend HAVE to give her boyfriend blow jobs? Just because she won't doesn't mean you should dump her. I am hoping you are dating her for more serious reasons, than sex.

BTW I love her reason, I think it is hilarious.

#60 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:51pm by luckyyyme

#52 hit the nail on the head.

Don't be afraid ladies. Its only a dick.

Gentlemen -- don't eat out your girlfriends if y'all don't want to. If they are cute I'd be happy to satisfy them if they return the favor.

#61 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:51pm by sillypun

lol i'm a vegetarian & have no qualms with giving bjs. she's definitely just squeamish about it.

#62 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:52pm by d72592

wang; the other white meat.

You're gf is hilarious, btw

#63 - On 03/03/2009 at 7:53pm by nobody_special

#48 - Well, that wasn't very nice of you, now, was it? Yes, I think someone's slutty if they are having a sexual relationship with their significant other, if they're not married. Call me old-fashioned. Maybe 'slutty' isn't the right word, since I don't know that she had multiple sexual partners (but if she's willing to give a guy a blow job before they're married, I'm guessing she's a slut), but what word would be better? I guess just downright 'disgusting' would work too. Like I said, I'm old-fashioned. I believe in sex after marriage, not before.

#64 - On 03/03/2009 at 8:11pm by Amkii

stick some lettuce on it.

#65 - On 03/03/2009 at 8:12pm by PresAlex

#52 - Yeah it sucks, doesn't it? That's just the way the world is headed, I guess. (No puns intended).

#s 65 and 63 - lol! I agree!

#66 - On 03/03/2009 at 8:13pm by Amkii

@ #13 what are you talking about? Orgasm gap is soo much more in the girls favor we deserve head... Every time my girlfriend make love she orgasms at least twice to my once, to make it even I deserve head once for every time we make love lucky for her its not sommin we care to keep score for

#67 - On 03/03/2009 at 8:26pm by spankyness

#31 and 44 I <3 you.

I'm a vegetarian and I give head, and before when I was vegan I did. But what the guy eats does pass into the semen (and can alter the taste). It's her beliefs, don't dump her for them. Wear a condom if you're that desperate but if she's really not comfortable doing that yet, don't pressure her into it. Maybe talk to her about it.

#68 - On 03/03/2009 at 8:42pm by IxamxStatic

I agree #44
#47 - a zygote is a fused egg and sperm; a sperm alone is a germ cell or gamete.
#67 - I think #13 was referring to the fact that there's a considerable percentage of women (I think 30%?) who have never had an orgasm. Also, most women do not orgasm every time they have intercourse, and most women cannot get an orgasm from just vaginal intercourse (they need clitoral stimulation). I guess good for your girlfriend?

#69 - On 03/03/2009 at 8:43pm by fb

Since she won't let you put it in her mouth, she has to let you put it in her butt.

#70 - On 03/03/2009 at 8:44pm by ionelementz112

HAHAHAHAHA BAD DAY!

#71 - On 03/03/2009 at 8:44pm by Shwanzy

I once asked my vegetarian girlfriend if the reason she hadn't given me head yet was because she was a vegetarian. She told me that it was more because we had been going out for two weeks. Needless to say that one didn't last long.

#72 - On 03/03/2009 at 8:46pm by almosted

it's not about the semen btw. it's mostly a joke, the chick probably just doesn't want to give him a bj

#73 - On 03/03/2009 at 8:46pm by krishna1791

I am just going to second what #42 said.

She's probably not ready, and if all you want her for is sex than you're an asshole.

#74 - On 03/03/2009 at 8:50pm by iammeanttolive

There are too many comments to read through, I agree with what every one said.

#75 - On 03/03/2009 at 8:54pm by S_S_D_D

my God your dumb to be honest its disguisting and i dont get why girls do it, but yea your dumb if you wanna get blown go be gay or something cause obviously your to immature to be in a relationship with a girl.

#76 - On 03/03/2009 at 8:54pm by joesabeast

You definitely deserved that, you shouldn't expect her to do something like that if she hasn't already. Her using the vegetarian excuse was probably her way of being nice, not that she actually thinks its like eating meat.

#77 - On 03/03/2009 at 9:01pm by poisonoak

#12-

What kind of girlfriend doesn't gove blowjobs? Maybe the kind of girlfriend who thinks sex should be after marriage? Or the kind of girlfriend who thinks relationships should be about more than sex? Maybe the kind of girlfriend with morals?

#78 - On 03/03/2009 at 9:08pm by DDDDana

#64 Calling people "sluts" isn't exactly nice either. While I agree with your viewpoint on sex, I don't think it's right to lord it over other people by calling them names.

#79 - On 03/03/2009 at 9:11pm by Somedude88

The moral of the story is--DONT date vegans

#80 - On 03/03/2009 at 9:12pm by FuzzMonkey09

@ #48: you say 'old-fashioned'; I say prude.

I can honestly say I wouldn't marry someone who wanted me to wait until after the wedding because I wouldn't want to risk spending the rest of my life with someone who is a dud root.

#81 - On 03/03/2009 at 9:14pm by baseline

I have to admit, this sucks for you, no pun intended. :'(

But using the vegetarian thing made me imagine that she was pondering literally munching on that cock. Like cutting that shit up and stuffing it in her oven. SO BE THANKFUL THAT ISN'T THE CASE. ROFL

#82 - On 03/03/2009 at 9:15pm by white_mouse

#78 - Thank you! Exactly!!

#79 - I understand that, and I basically agree... except I think they deserve it, if they're choosing that lifestyle. ;)

#81 - Same thing. ;) I understand your point of view, though. Almost all guys I've ever met/known/talked to have that same opinion.

#84 - On 03/03/2009 at 10:01pm by Amkii

i'm a die-hard vegetarian, and i blow my boyfriend about 6 times a day, on average.

#85 - On 03/03/2009 at 10:25pm by urbanrendezvous

I'm a vegan and I have no problem with giving head. Everyone that dissed vegetarians and vegans, you suck. You arealso ignorant and pathetic.
#42, cecona, thanks for the comment. I'm glad for you because you have a working brain!! :)

#86 - On 03/03/2009 at 10:46pm by impossiblefate

I'm a vegetarian and I'm always willing to let a girl give me head.

#87 - On 03/03/2009 at 11:13pm by 30days

Amkii -- get off your soap box, sister.

There is nothing slutty about a lovin, long term monogamous relationship in which both partners do things that would probably make immature folks like yourself squirm.

And since you believe in judging people and calling them by your own hateful, judgmental terms here's an update:

You are immature, closed minded, inexperienced, and judgmental.

Giving a blowjob does not make anyone a slut no matter what your archaic belief system dictates to you. Giving blowjobs to the Oakland Raiders would make you a slut.

One day, you will get properly fucked and it will be allllll over for you. You'll hate yourself for loving it so much. You probably won't be able to get enough.

#88 - On 03/03/2009 at 11:15pm by sillypun

i agree with #4... damn vegetarians

#89 - On 03/04/2009 at 12:05am by moocowmoo

hey got to admit she clever.

#90 - On 03/04/2009 at 12:12am by fml27

@ 12: I CAN'T give my boyfriend blowjobs because I have really bad jaw problems. So there are valid reasons for it XD I hope I don't get dropped for it o.o

#91 - On 03/04/2009 at 12:26am by KerlyFries

number 18, youre kind of an idiot

i like it

#92 - On 03/04/2009 at 1:00am by ihateeverything9

Dude that's "FAIL" right there. Dump her.

#93 - On 03/04/2009 at 1:08am by Fa7

someone not wanting to give you a blowjob is not cause to dump them. There's more to life than sex, I hate to break it to you. :|

#94 - On 03/04/2009 at 1:15am by McLaughlane

you sure she didn't say VAGitarian?

#95 - On 03/04/2009 at 1:18am by Blizzy_B

@#94- the fact that she makes up an excuse to not do it means she'll to it for other things in life. That's Fail. I'd hate that in a partner. A "no I don't want to" is better.

#96 - On 03/04/2009 at 1:29am by Fa7

I don't see what her being a vegetarian would affect her oral sex choices. if it's her personal life choice, then you should respect that. But you also should look out for your own needs. If you find this aspect of the relationship more important than the relationship itself, then you may be better off with someone else. But if she's worth it, then stick it out, but also let her know how that makes you feel.

#97 - On 03/04/2009 at 1:43am by ntaralson

#69, CRAP, you're right. >.< Got my terms mixed up...but I haven't taken bio since 7th grade. Thanks for the correction.

Also, heh-heh, 69.

#98 - On 03/04/2009 at 2:37am by wafflemonger

I don't want to sound like a dick or anything, but if I was with a girl who refused to give me head, then I wouldn't stay with her for long.

I don't have any problems going down on a girl. However, if a girl doesn't want to go down on me, then either she needs to be okay with me getting head elsewhere or then she needs to be okay with me dumping her because of that. I happen to like blowjobs. Depending on the person, I happen to sometimes like blowjobs more than sex.

If blowjobs aren't an option, I don't see myself in a long term relationship with that person.

#99 - On 03/04/2009 at 2:58am by Blind_Ninja

I want to date #12 lol

#100 - On 03/04/2009 at 3:03am by BurnMaster

#64: "I believe in sex after marriage, not before" - Well, speaking as a married guy I can tell you it's pretty much a myth. D: FML!

#101 - On 03/04/2009 at 4:25am by Sciamachy

I'm a vegetarian and I suck cock all the time... and I love it. Then again I'm also a guy and I'm gay but still... tell her to stop being a bitch she's not chewing your cock and swallowing it and digesting it lol. Cock meat is vegetarian-friendly

#102 - On 03/04/2009 at 4:36am by Zelduh

#102 : "I'm a vegetarian and I suck cock all the time... " I love this sentence !

#103 - On 03/04/2009 at 5:08am by ByFender

Your girlfriend is an idiot, if thats why she won't anyway.

#104 - On 03/04/2009 at 5:39am by lololol

Valid answer

#105 - On 03/04/2009 at 6:29am by asdfqewr

#99-You're a freaking jerk. Seriously, just because a girl doesn't want to give you head you'd break up with her? Isn't there more important things in relationships? Like love and companionship maybe? Get a freaking life.

#106 - On 03/04/2009 at 8:28am by DDDDana

Well if she is a vegetarian then she defiantly should suck you off... and swallow. Probably needs all the vitamins and protein she can get!

And wtf? Sucking dick is eco-friendly. And no animals were harmed in the process of extracting it. So wtf??

#107 - On 03/04/2009 at 8:30am by Jimboom

Dude. Your girlfriend is an idiot. Sorry.

#108 - On 03/04/2009 at 9:20am by deliciouskaek

pwn3d

#109 - On 03/04/2009 at 9:43am by Sarthaas

That sucks dude! On that note i think i'm going to use that on my boyfriend next time i don't want to give him a blowjob :)

#110 - On 03/04/2009 at 10:49am by allstarplayer324

oh and 99 your an asshole...

#111 - On 03/04/2009 at 10:56am by allstarplayer324

LOLL
she obviously doesn't want to give you one.

#112 - On 03/04/2009 at 11:52am by endingcooks

you should offer her, your pickle.

#113 - On 03/04/2009 at 1:23pm by jaxspider

HAHA! I'm a vegetarian, but I only use that line when someone tells me to suck it. Or they're REALLLLLY gross. xDD

#114 - On 03/04/2009 at 4:13pm by mizled

hahaha I like ur girlfriend, i'm so the same way

#115 - On 03/04/2009 at 4:29pm by lollipop217

good 4 her! what kind of sick people do that anywayz?
a good, loving bf wouldnt care. thats one reason to date someone with experience.
they've had their thrill, now they can focus on the things that matter

#116 - On 03/04/2009 at 8:40pm by izbity

dump the bitch

#117 - On 03/04/2009 at 9:20pm by mkre

i dont get it .. im a vegetarian and that excuse makes no sense to me

#118 - On 03/04/2009 at 9:29pm by Sarahhh4978

As a vegetarian, I can tell you that your girlfriend is an idiot

#119 - On 03/04/2009 at 11:32pm by undeadonion

106, get off 99s back. You don't know what you're talking about.

He was sharing his personal opinion and preference. Don't presume that your preferences should apply to everybody else. He never said anything was wrong with a girl for saying no, he just said she's not his type, as it's really important to him.

I don't agree with him, either, but his tastes do not make him a jerk. There are certain criteria I have for a girl I would be with, too, although that's not one of them. I'm sure you also have your own criteria. Don't criticize somebody because they have different wants and needs than you do.

And don't worry about it, either. A girl who won't give blowjobs is probably not the type who would WANT to be with #99, so by ditching them he's doing THEM a favor.

#120 - On 03/04/2009 at 11:37pm by Seegtease

As for #12, that's her own choice. I think that blowjobs should be considered even more intimate than intercourse, so if you're a fresh couple maybe you have your priorities wrong.

Then again, she is a veggie lover, so her priorities can't be too good. I recon dump her.

#121 - On 03/05/2009 at 10:28am by Dark_Snowy

agree with #5 lol

#122 - On 03/05/2009 at 10:45am by ElRafa

here is an easy way to disguise your meat
1) cut a hole in a box
2) put your junk in that boxx
3) make her open the box
and thats the way you do it :)

#123 - On 03/05/2009 at 3:31pm by Im_On_A_Boat

i dont get it... giving blowjobs makes you a carnivore?

#124 - On 03/05/2009 at 5:31pm by hellobob

Time for a new girl.

#125 - On 03/05/2009 at 6:36pm by thompson5

Hahahaha once she wants to she will x] and shell do a good job too!

#126 - On 03/05/2009 at 8:38pm by swallowthesun

you really shouldn't pressure her to do that, honestly i've never given my boyfriend a blowjob it's nothing against him but just my feelings are that it is disgusting and the very thought makes me want to puke, that just doesn't belong there.

#127 - On 03/06/2009 at 2:57am by blycgeek

Haha!Bad day for you dude!!
Maybe you should try to eat her first and than maybe you will get your bj.

#12 Haha it was a cute let down. But, you need to drop her. What kind of girlfriend doesn't give blowjobs? I'd feel weird if I didn't give my boyfriend blowjobs.

What???
Check yourself.

#128 - On 03/06/2009 at 9:18am by maddog

Wow, the majority of you are bloody idiots. I'm pretty sure that the vegetarian excuse was just to make it funny, she wasn't being serious. And so what if she doesn't want to give him a blow job? She probably just doesn't feel comfortable with it. Breaking up with her for something stupid like that would just be a dick move.

#129 - On 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm by MHB8321

Well I am vegan (hardcore vegetarian) and I would never kiss or make out with anyone who wasn't vegetarian and I would never give a blow job to someone who wasn't vegan. The reason she wouldn't do that is because your body is made up of dead animals. Ever heard the term "you are what you eat"? Well, she would never make out with a dead pig, so why would she made out with someone who gets their protein from dead pigs? My advice would be to tell her you understand where she's coming from and you will really try to stop eating meat. If you do that for her, she might just have to do something for you ;)

#130 - On 03/07/2009 at 10:24pm by whoaalexgoalex

Oh, that's so utterly fantastic.
I feel so bad for you.
That sucks.

#131 - On 03/08/2009 at 12:24am by RebeccaNichole

she sounds annoying.
bloody vegetarians

#132 - On 03/08/2009 at 10:06am by purple91

That's really lame the lamest excuse. I'm a vegetarian and I give my boyfriend blowjobs.

To everyone who says fuck vegetarians and other such nonsense, fuck you too(:

#15: Dude, seriously. I'm a vegetarian. But I'm just as adventurous in food as anyone else, I just don't eat animals. And prolly twice as adventurous in the bedroom as you ;D Ha. Fail.

#133 - On 03/08/2009 at 5:50pm by xtayler_raex

Thank you, #120.

Sorry world if I just don't like boring, standard sex. I'm not the only person in a world with a fetish.

#134 - On 03/09/2009 at 1:22am by Blind_Ninja

Cody?

#135 - On 03/09/2009 at 5:34am by pinkantennas

Okay but that is funny. Bitchy, but kind of funny.

I feel for you though, that sucks. Well she doesn't, but the situation does.

#136 - On 03/09/2009 at 5:02pm by Lovebug9

good.
stop asking her.
thats disgusting.

#137 - On 03/14/2009 at 3:31pm by CAITx4OH1xCORE

Very clever, but she was just kidding around, right?

#138 - On 03/14/2009 at 10:36pm by canadian_pride

Smart answer,
but honestly, girls always has some kind of thing that piss you off.

U may find one who give you what you want, but cheat, or something.

#139 - On 03/16/2009 at 12:06am by aah134

There's a simple solution:
tell her to spit.

#140 - On 03/16/2009 at 2:13am by lpaul49

@134: Blowjobs _are_ boring, standard sex.

As for the OP, I have no idea what that excuse even means. o_O

#141 - On 03/16/2009 at 4:55am by Meta

well as u can tell... this conversation(s) are getting out of hand.... its a joke deal with it. also, did anyone ask about your prefrence of giving head or not giving head? no so stfu and ignore this one if u dont like it

#142 - On 03/16/2009 at 9:16pm by BIGLOSER99

Haha! I should used that line!

#143 - On 03/17/2009 at 9:59am by christina_xx

#123
You
are
my
hero!!

#144 - On 03/17/2009 at 5:11pm by crazykyle

well...shes not a vegan

#145 - On 03/17/2009 at 10:47pm by jguarin

well...shes not a vegan so...

#146 - On 03/17/2009 at 10:49pm by jguarin

it's from a song, actually. By 3Oh!3 called "Don't Trust Me". Dunno if that's what she was going for, but still.

#147 - On 03/19/2009 at 8:52am by same_old_shit3

I'm vegetarian... But I usually use something along the lines of "there's one kind of meat I'll put in my mouth."

#148 - On 03/21/2009 at 2:37am by luciert

148... that is wonderful. You made me lol, literally.

#149 - On 03/21/2009 at 5:29am by wafflemonger

That is the best excuse yet...I need to become a vegetarian.

#150 - On 03/22/2009 at 9:35pm by kmkrce

Wow, lots of ass holes.
Just because she's a vegetarian, doesn't make her less of a person. I'm a vegetarian and I don't go around telling people "YOU NEED TO BE VEGETARIAN!!" My whole family is meat eaters and they expect me to make my own meals but I'm fine with that cause it's my decision. So, just because she doesn't eat meat, doesn't mean there's something wrong with her or that she's a pussy.

And people saying that you should dump her? What the hell? Wow, sex-obsessed ass holes...

And, I totally agree with the people saying that being a vegetarian is the LAMEST excuse for not giving head. But she obviously wasn't serious, it was just a funny way of saying no.

So chill... if funny. Definitely not FML but it's still funny. Props to you.

#151 - On 03/24/2009 at 3:02pm by lexxi

#11 STFU
every heard of tofu, legumes, nuts, soya products, dairy and vegetables?
ignorant shit.

#152 - On 03/30/2009 at 8:58am by jhowser

Wow. Gross.

Some girls just don't like giving head. Get over it. I won't do it for my boyfriend, and he understands my choice completely.

Some guys just can't think with anything but their penis, I guess. You fail.

#153 - On 04/03/2009 at 7:19pm by IntoRapture

lmaoo!!
i guess i'll use that excuse on my bf next time haha

#154 - On 04/06/2009 at 8:26pm by JessS92_

lol. If she was kidding thats hilarious, if not ...... good luck

#155 - On 04/07/2009 at 11:19am by bozz9

I never give head anyway, and I eat meat. I ESPECIALLY wouldn't give head to someone who asked - in fact, I wouldn't waste any more time on a guy who did. To be fair, I don't make guys go down on me, either, because I don't particularly enjoy it myself. If you're at this stage in your relationship, just have sex, and then you BOTH get to enjoy it, and nobody feels degraded or grossed out.

So basically, YDI for even asking her to do it.

#156 - On 04/08/2009 at 12:15pm by strawberryswirl

156, just because you personally are grossed out by an extremely normal and enjoyable part of sex doesn't mean everyone else has to feel the same way.

#157 - On 04/08/2009 at 12:36pm by wafflemonger

blowjobs do not count as eating meat,
im a vegatraian too but i dont mind giving a blowjob ;]
she gives vegiatrian a bad repputation

#158 - On 04/10/2009 at 6:44pm by caughtinrumors

Hahahahaha wtf. People like that give vegetarians a bad name.

#159 - On 04/12/2009 at 10:06pm by AnnaSeptic

haha bro i know how u feel my gf said the same stuff!!!

#160 - On 04/13/2009 at 4:17pm by Socalrider58

I'm a vegetarian, and I think it's an invalid reason; but everyone draws the line somewhere.

Then again, I don't think that's the actual reason - maybe just the least offensive one she could think of.

#161 - On 04/16/2009 at 4:41pm by KarmaHatesUs

know the feelin my ex wouldnt give head either even tho i ALWAYS ate her out b4 hours of sex and she teased me about it constantly with like bannanas and other objects and never came thru.

#162 - On 04/17/2009 at 1:49am by dr_kaos

Somebody needs to make a joke-detector to stop FMLs like this. She was JOKING!

#163 - On 04/19/2009 at 1:26am by FreshPie

hahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahahahaha



lol

#164 - On 04/21/2009 at 5:02pm by horny101

GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP.
On a serious note, please don't think that all of us vegetarians are complete morons. I eat more pussy than a Chinese man.

#165 - On 05/05/2009 at 12:34am by roflcopterzzz

i would have!

#166 - On 05/07/2009 at 10:43pm by mesohorney8893

Sounds like someone just doesn't like giving head. Being vegetarian is not a reason to not give a guy a blowjob!

#167 - On 05/08/2009 at 5:23pm by gothymama

157, I wasn't saying everyone hates it. I simply think it's rude to even ask. If you even have to ask, she probably isn't going to do it. If she wanted to, she would have done it already.

#168 - On 05/10/2009 at 9:44pm by strawberryswirl

Strawberryswirl, I guess I see your point, but I feel like it's not so black and white. There are a number of reasons why she might not have done it yet... maybe she wants to, but it's the wrong time; maybe she's shy; maybe she's not sure how he feels about it. I don't see a problem with discussing that kind of thing, or asking in a low-pressure kind of situation.

That being said, I do have a problem with the way he phrased it ("when will you give me a blowjob?"). It implies that it's expected of her, and that's creepy and gross.

#169 - On 05/11/2009 at 2:06am by wafflemonger

Yeah, just like these people said. If she's not comfortable with it, it's her choice to say no.

Just like it's your choice to dump her ass and find a girl who's not so uptight. Vegetarians are fine, but if you're into that stuff and she isn't then she's not for you. That biatch.

#170 - On 05/16/2009 at 7:33pm by MajorTom85

Haha I'm a vegetarian too.

#171 - On 05/20/2009 at 12:29am by alyse0

Its nothing like eating a dead animal, and it is a great source of protein.

#172 - On 05/22/2009 at 5:02pm by erkdoc

Hahaha she winz.

#173 - On 06/07/2009 at 12:24am by Moooshie

yeah, if my girl wouldnt blow me, id be really sad lol. luckily, she eats meat XD

#174 - On 06/07/2009 at 9:14pm by EricsDaMan

5, 14, and 27: SHUT THE HELL UP!

I am vegan, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't give a blow job! Get this through your thick little skulls: it was a joke! Obviously she just didn't want to give it, but just because someone is vegetarian or vegan doesn't mean ANYTHING about their sex life.

Get over yourself, you perverted, arrogant, egotistical doushebags!

#175 - On 06/12/2009 at 5:08pm by BohemianThespian

three choices for her: spit, swallow, or get dumped.

#177 - On 07/12/2009 at 2:03pm by cjp767

That's what you get for dating a vegetable.

#178 - On 07/29/2009 at 3:31pm by Tupp

That's funny. Cute sense of humour, she's obviously not being literal, you know, dick=meat? Vegetarians don't eat meat. It's funny, man. I if was with a guy I would't give him a BJ, ever. No, thank you. He could go to another girl for that. Honestly, I wouldn't do it, and as long as he didn't fuck her, he could go to another girl for blowjobs. Your girl is funny, respect that.

#180 - On 08/15/2009 at 7:02am by IloveComics

Oh no, your girlfriend won't degrade herself by putting her mouth around the thing you piss with! Idiot.

#181 - On 08/25/2009 at 10:26pm by gummibehrs

I don't think she's really appreciate your coming on this website and bitching about her like a whiny little pussy, either.

#182 - On 08/25/2009 at 10:29pm by gummibehrs

YDI for having no sense of humor asshole

#183 - On 09/22/2009 at 9:40pm by scateice

In other words shes a lesbian beacsue she wont put your meat in her

#184 - On 11/01/2009 at 7:59pm by tuga2

lol #11 good reasoning

#185 - On 12/22/2009 at 10:01am by sebster5858

u shud of sad my dick is made out of tofu LOL

#186 - On 12/29/2009 at 4:40pm by vsk8p1mp720

#148 i bet that only meat is dick haHaHA

#187 - On 12/29/2009 at 4:46pm by vsk8p1mp720

lmao great

#189 - On 01/30/2010 at 3:07am by sevlen

You Sould've known! haha

#190 - On 02/09/2010 at 11:26am by Snow223

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