Love, Food and Vegan: Never gonna happen

Never gonna happen

By meat lover - 27/09/2022 15:30

Today, my girlfriend woke me up by saying, "Good morning! We're going to be vegans from now on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 209

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By blondetergent - 20/06/2011 08:12 - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 908

You deserved it 15 316

By Anonymous - 14/12/2014 01:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 869

You deserved it 4 387

By LunaCrow - 10/02/2015 02:32 - United States - Shakopee

Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 484

You deserved it 3 123

By Cow lover - 12/10/2016 14:13 - United States - Schenectady

Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 292

You deserved it 2 401

By Anonymous - 03/06/2013 20:55 - France - M?rignac

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 356

You deserved it 5 592

By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 738

You deserved it 3 594

By kohler9790 - 22/02/2012 01:29 - United States

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 579

You deserved it 3 378

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 08:01 - Canada

Today, my brother turned into a fanatical vegan, and while I was eating my scrambled eggs, sat across from me glaring and whispering, "fried embryo, amniotic fluid" the entire time. I have a feeling i'll be eating most of my meals in my room from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 664

You deserved it 164

Proselytizing

By Jax - 17/11/2022 18:00

Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 205

No way in hell

By Anonymous - 29/10/2023 00:02

Today, I told my husband we should try go vegan for a while to see if there were any health benefits. He threw me over his shoulder and put me outside, because, “crazy plant ladies live outside with the other vegetables.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 950

TwoBytesCarley 26

Tuesday 27 September 2022 15:35

“Good morning! We’re going to be single from now on.”

Thaylok 17

Tuesday 27 September 2022 15:58

That is N_O_T a unilateral decision.

Comments

TwoBytesCarley 26

Tuesday 27 September 2022 15:35

“Good morning! We’re going to be single from now on.”

JasonThorn 19

Friday 30 September 2022 11:28

The only way to improve this would be to text her a link of the Joker laughing for almost 40 minutes straight. ("Joker Laugh Compilation" on YouTube)

HayNow 11

Friday 30 September 2022 21:05

and .... *Chomps on a sandwich"

Thaylok 17

Tuesday 27 September 2022 15:58

That is N_O_T a unilateral decision.

spinningrecords 14

Tuesday 27 September 2022 16:14

…as she hands you a bag of Oreo cookies

Crowned Sataness 12

Tuesday 27 September 2022 18:45

"what's this we shit? you got a mouse in your pocket?"

mike3775 35

Tuesday 27 September 2022 19:05

I hope you said “good morning, no the hell I am not”

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 27 September 2022 20:18

Good morning and no.

The_Real_Cvh 10

Tuesday 27 September 2022 20:29

Ruuuuuuuuunnnnnnn!

emmalou 19

Wednesday 28 September 2022 2:04

you deserve it if you think she can make that choice for you

D J's MOM 17

Wednesday 28 September 2022 12:31

unless you're totally whipped, just say "good luck with that".

Blobby McGee 5

Wednesday 28 September 2022 14:31

the **** we are

Keywords

Video games Annoying Gamers Cute Money Birthday Kids Love Health Weird Awkward Relatable Abuse Social Media Scams Parents Education School Teenagers Anger issues Family Miscellaneous Relationship advice Capitalism Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 338

You deserved it 15 971

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 824

You deserved it 254

The Top

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 685

You deserved it 91 555

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 976

You deserved it 6 106

Today, my boss was using my computer and tried to copy and paste a website URL. It must not have copied first, because it pasted a URL to a porn site. I think I should start looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 786

You deserved it 38 938

Today, I got an empty peanut butter jar to put my used insulin needles in so nobody gets stuck. My husband washed it for me. He also wrote all over it: "Fuck off!" "Sharp!" "Do not fucking touch!" "Go away!" "Do not fucking throw away!" Thanks, sweetie. Now it looks like a crazy guy shouting on the subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 312

Today, I checked an old photosharing account. I got a new phone last year and didn't realize all the pictures I took with the new phone would still automatically upload to my account. Unknowingly, I posted naked pics of myself online. Not one of my friends told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 709

You deserved it 56 597

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 461

You deserved it 5 878