Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 34
I don't understand how the people on here get such weird and/or downright rude or mean significant others...
That_Ginger 18
Pair this girlfriend with that kid that flushes his condoms and hopefully she takes away his potential to reproduce.
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Comments (103)
IxEaTxZoMBieZ 7
wtf
DrippingSarcasm 20
Wise words from #1!
then000bster 16
I've never been kicked, but have accidentally kicked my friend. I let him punch me in the arm as hard as he wanted to compensate, as much as that could compensate.
breakinlegs 19
she could snap at any moment!
_ashole 10
I think everyone is failing to notice that there may be a possibility that she knows something op might have done and he just doesn't know that yet..
_ashole 10
64, when I wrote that I was reffering to the possibility that he might have done something he wouldn't want her to find out and she did. Just a scenario. have some imagination, besides I never mentioned anything about an argument for not reading minds.
xReDMemory 28
51,or he may just be a perfectly normal boyfriend with a sadistic girlfriend. Just a suggestion.
WCARlover 34
I don't understand how the people on here get such weird and/or downright rude or mean significant others...
That_Ginger 18
Pair this girlfriend with that kid that flushes his condoms and hopefully she takes away his potential to reproduce.
Kamon97 23
Here's how it works when a women asks a man a question, the answer is always wrong :p
YeaSo3 14
your right....But what's normal? lol
thisawkwardchick 15
#22 that was perfect
tfowl61692 14
that suck man!
SuperMew 22
Hopefully she has a "quirky" sense of humor. I joke with my friends about some weird stuff, but I would never make my significant other paranoid I was going to damage his dick.
REALAfroninga 11
Not just the dick gets damaged. Honestly, if rather be kicked, just in the dick, than have the testi dick combo.
YeaSo3 14
only make him paranoid if you're really going to damage it ..asking him questions with no intent or reasoning behind it is just sick lol
tj4234 35
I don't understand why people think it's funny to even make jokes like that. Being kicked in the balls seriously, seriously hurts...
barleyguy 17
As a man who was kicked in the balls many a time while taking tae know do as a child by the girl who would 8 years later become my girlfriend, I can say with absolute certainty that while yes it does hurt it is a funny ass story to tell people.....somewhat emasculating but funny as hell
Spiritmist 3
lol, were you being a tosser? I used to joke like that with my boyfriend all the time.
olpally 32
She's a bit kinky or terrifying. Get away from her. And hold onto your mcnuggets every time you get up to walk.
speakersboom 19
kinky and terrifying go hand in hand.
Welshite 39
Start wearing a cup 24/7.
smokecloud_ 37
That was going to be my suggestion. Be afraid, OP! Be very afraid!
JaegerMayCry 13
Don't be silly, protect your willy.
Nolimit2217 32
Psycho.. Time for a new gf.
pistachiopanda 19
Right?! Id be asking her if she'd ever been punched in the throat.
Ihavegas 22
more like deepthroat
perdix 29
Welshite beat me to it, verbatim!