Health: Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me...

By Anonymous - 14/01/2014 16:15 - United Kingdom - Chester

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 967

You deserved it 4 967

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 00:36 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 3 092

By filipinoclari808 - 16/04/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 789

You deserved it 81 425

By Anonymous - 18/09/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 376

You deserved it 4 434

By civicman - 27/09/2009 02:19 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 671

You deserved it 66 208

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 978

You deserved it 7 499

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 076

You deserved it 4 184

By Dumped - 22/12/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 091

You deserved it 11 667

By ouch - 29/03/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 642

You deserved it 16 847

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 655

You deserved it 3 295

By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 00:55 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 362

You deserved it 6 198

WCARlover 34

Tuesday 14 January 2014 20:39

I don't understand how the people on here get such weird and/or downright rude or mean significant others...

That_Ginger 18

Tuesday 14 January 2014 20:52

Pair this girlfriend with that kid that flushes his condoms and hopefully she takes away his potential to reproduce.

Comments

Dekat121 24

Tuesday 14 January 2014 20:44

Ask her if shes ever been kicked in the ******, if no reply with what she said. it also hurts for women to be kicked down there.

Gottokeepsmiling 6

Tuesday 14 January 2014 23:41

I would have to say that punched in the breasts is even worse!!

blackonblight 32

Thursday 16 January 2014 16:47

No, unless you're at the point in your cycle when they're tender, breasts tend to take a punch about the same as any fleshy part of the body. But a kick or knee to the pubic bone hurts EVERYONE. And on the off chance you end up hitting the ********, that's a fuckload of nerve endings in screaming agony. Passing out is common.

StompinOnCrayons 15

Tuesday 14 January 2014 20:46

Wear a codpiece at all times for protection !

weveallbeenthere 30

Tuesday 14 January 2014 20:46

get a cup!

perdix 29

Tuesday 14 January 2014 20:46

Time for a pre-emptive **** punt. The best defense is a good offense!

ariellove1992 8

Tuesday 14 January 2014 20:47

Don't forget any this like birthday/anniversaries and behave

VampOfSavannah 31

Tuesday 14 January 2014 22:30

Behave, really? That is extremely painful for men. If it's done hard enough, an injury in that area can cause serious damage. I'd dump her crazy ass on the spot.

Dawnstempest 17

Wednesday 15 January 2014 0:11

@ 20 Behave? He isn't a dog.

Jones87 11

Tuesday 14 January 2014 20:47

That's a bit odd..

perdix 29

Tuesday 14 January 2014 20:55

A cup would be ok but The Male Chastity Belt™ would be better. With all the spikes, electric wires and pepper cannons, the attacker not only gets blocked, but gets ****** up in the process! Of course, you have to take 10 weeks of training to learn how to wear it :(

Welshite 39

Tuesday 14 January 2014 20:58

I got the training down in five weeks. Come at me, you sex-crazed fiends!

perdix 29

Tuesday 14 January 2014 21:23

#25, yeah, but you probably skipped advanced but essential skills like Performing Naked Zumba for Legions of Stalker Chicks. That lesson has saved my bacon -- or more accurately, prevented my wiener from becoming bacon!