Love and Kids: Wide words

Wide words

By julia - 11/06/2011 11:12 - United States

Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 087

You deserved it 7 819

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Same thing different taste

By dumped - 05/06/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 021

You deserved it 4 175

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 15:36 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 939

You deserved it 1 974

By Noname - 03/02/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 728

You deserved it 7 796

By Anonymous - 10/06/2009 13:12 - United States

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 223

You deserved it 7 294

By daycare worker - 23/12/2016 18:41 - United States - Houston

Today, I told my 4-year-old daughter that when she grew up she could work at a daycare, like me, to help all of the little kids like her. She started crying because she thought it was a bad job to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 761

You deserved it 1 737

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 686

You deserved it 3 149

By Anonymous - 20/08/2019 00:01

Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 230

By parentof5 - 23/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 635

You deserved it 24 783

By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 817

You deserved it 6 585

Beautiful sentiment

By emily geo - 03/02/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my daughter is twelve and doesn’t have a single friend, despite being kind and sweet. When I asked her why, she said, “All the other kids want me to die.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 93

franticravyn 7

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:50

that's cute in a way…

Coon123 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:50

mature 5 year old

Comments

iAmScrubs 19

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:55

Your daughter will grow up to be the smartest person in the world.

regsworld11 2

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:56

That is so cute, she is smart though! Gotta love kids

USMCSNIPER209 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 16:00

yea it is

livzielove 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:56

smart kid

crimsonbaby11 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:58

that's so sadly cute.

Lennes 12

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:59

Agreed #17.

rebekahah 7

Saturday 11 June 2011 16:02

smart girl. :)

LexxyLiime 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:05

Fake picture. that isnt you

allard 14

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:23

Read her bio, Lexy.

NuyoRicanGirl 3

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:29

She never said that was her she says it's her friends pic. Read the profile before hating on other people that might have pink hair =p

fairydust246 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 16:03

how is this an fml? :P

courtneysue95 2

Saturday 11 June 2011 16:03

its so cute! this little girl is already smart..she will grow out of it though. love is tough..its more than just a word. it's a promise.

Crazy4Christ 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:12

r u saying she will grow out of being smart?

manda83 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 16:03

wish I'd thought of that... though apparently in my past life I was a nun lol

Divarhd 2

Saturday 11 June 2011 16:04

If this is the worst that happens to you consider yourself lucky. She's 5 don't be so ridiculous!!

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The Top

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 145

You deserved it 11 901

Today, an interviewer rang me back, but not to offer me the job. It was to warn me that if my psychotic mother rang him at his home address again trying to bribe and threaten him into giving me the job, then he would call the police and press charges for harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 62

The Top

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 428

You deserved it 22 120

Today, while working as a hostess in a restaurant, an old lady complained to the manager that I was on heroin because she could see all the track marks on my arms. I was actually fighting a staph infection and the "track marks" were where my IV had been placed. My manager told me to cover it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 302

You deserved it 1 578

Today, I tried to introduce myself to the stray cat outside my house. As it turns out, this cat is very friendly. He got up and started climbing on my shoulders like a parrot, sniffing me everywhere. Then I sneezed and he fell, scratching my back and neck very badly as he did so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 328

Today, on the first day of the first week off together with my family in six months, we’re all quarantined with positive COVID tests. By the time we’re off quarantine, I’ll be back at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 134

Today, it seems my body wants me to be a hermit: alone in nature for days, I'm fine. Yet to any kind of stress – like being at the office or in a social setting – my body reacts with smelly sweats, extreme bloating, and frequent flatulence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 124

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 187

You deserved it 3 561

Wide words

Same thing different taste

Beautiful sentiment

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