Love and Kids: Wide words

Wide words

By julia - 11/06/2011 11:12 - United States

Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 087

You deserved it 7 819

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Same thing different taste

By dumped - 05/06/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 021

You deserved it 4 175

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 15:36 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 939

You deserved it 1 974

By Noname - 03/02/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 727

You deserved it 7 795

By Anonymous - 10/06/2009 13:12 - United States

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 223

You deserved it 7 294

By daycare worker - 23/12/2016 18:41 - United States - Houston

Today, I told my 4-year-old daughter that when she grew up she could work at a daycare, like me, to help all of the little kids like her. She started crying because she thought it was a bad job to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 761

You deserved it 1 737

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 686

You deserved it 3 149

By Anonymous - 20/08/2019 00:01

Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 230

By parentof5 - 23/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 635

You deserved it 24 783

By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 817

You deserved it 6 585

Beautiful sentiment

By emily geo - 03/02/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my daughter is twelve and doesn’t have a single friend, despite being kind and sweet. When I asked her why, she said, “All the other kids want me to die.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 93

franticravyn 7

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:50

that's cute in a way…

Coon123 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:50

mature 5 year old

Comments

kyrintethron 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:18

Very cute, lol - not really an FML, but cute nonetheless.

colorfullyemo 4

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:20

i've read this before.

PancakesEqualLov 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:20

i'm a proud gaga fan. :]

cupcake90210 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:21

whoa

Oxycodone 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:23

how is this remotely an fml? HOW is YOUR life ****** because a 5 year old told you she wants to be a nun?

bammagirl1994 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:24

I wish I was tht smart

ShieruTrancy 7

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:28

how is this an FML? it's sad and cute, at least she thinks about shit like that,

raytaybinks 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:30

...how is that an FML? would you rather your daughter have a broken heart?

hideyoself 4

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:31

looks like you've been brainwashing your daughter with negative experiences of your own. ydi

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The Top

Today, I found out why I’ve been covering most of the bills and the rent. Turns out my boyfriend is paying a very expensive OnlyFans subscription for his female bestie. When I confronted him about it, he responded by yelling, “It’s not like that!” and punched our glass patio door, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 576

You deserved it 241

Today, my 15 year-old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 945

You deserved it 14 033

The Top

Today, my shrink diagnosed me as severely depressive, due to a lot of stress and yells at home. After the session, my parents argued about whose fault it was and then went on to yell at me for being depressive and wasting their money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 030

You deserved it 3 845

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 576

You deserved it 30 354

Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I had a quarter in my pocket. I found no change in my pocket once I got to the register, so I pulled out my credit card. The cashier laughed a few seconds later when my card was declined for a piece of gum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 300

You deserved it 15 527

Today, I went on a coffee date. My date blew his nose on a discarded napkin, smoked half of my cigarettes despite "giving up", chewed tobacco at the table and casually invited a friend to join us. His friend spat out his tobacco and poured cough syrup into his coffee. I'll pass on a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 945

You deserved it 421

Today, I've reached the age as a sexless loser where my family no longer tells me to find a "single lady" but rather a "single mother". Thanks for reminding me everyone else had fun in their twenties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 203

Today, I discovered that as of right now, the North Pole is somehow warmer than where I live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 96

Wide words

Same thing different taste

Beautiful sentiment

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