Work and Relatable: USA! **** YEAH! - FML

USA! **** YEAH!

By dinkley7 - 20/03/2021 21:30

Today, at work, I had to tell someone to put out a cigarette. He yelled at me saying it’s a free country. I work at a gas station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 68

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By TVKill3r - 29/03/2013 00:57 - United States

Today, at work while near a cigarette tray outside, a man said, "Thanks for polluting our environment!" All I could say was, "What?" He then said "I'm speaking English you know!" I was cleaning the cigarette tray at the time, don't smoke at all, and was born here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 809

You deserved it 2 760

Shoutout to all retail workers

By Anonymous - 15/03/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, it's my last week working at a gas station. A fat middle-aged man threw a hissy over the price of 2-liter Coke and demanded I change it. I asked him to leave; he wouldn't, and forced me to call the cops. He stormed out as I was on the phone, pointed at me, and called me a "weak piece of shit". Three more days… FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 85

Unreasonable

By Dano - 07/08/2021 10:01

Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 77

By Confused - 23/03/2012 15:34 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 121

You deserved it 5 413

Disgruntled

By Anonymous - 30/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, I work at a gas station. There's a bald manlet, who we fired because he couldn't do his job, who has been ripping us off by giving away tickets he wins from the slot machines. We banned him from the store. I caught him on the corner, wearing our uniform, with a sign falsely advertising that our coffee is free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 112

By WellFineThen - 17/04/2017 05:00 - United States - Cedar Falls

Today, at work, a woman screamed at me and called me a bitch because I refused to refund something we give away for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 981

You deserved it 279

Knock yourself out, dude

By pornstorebitch - 23/10/2019 00:01

Today, I got told I was a bitch because I wouldn’t let a homeless man dig through my dumpster at work, even though he was hungry. We don’t even sell food. I work at a sex store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 759

You deserved it 202

It's not what you think

By youmindyourownbusiness - 15/02/2013 05:53 - United States - Genoa

Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 530

You deserved it 4 176

When nature calls

By Sacha - 19/01/2021 08:01 - Canada

Today, while I was working in a grocery store, a costumer decide to take a dump on the ground after I told him he couldn’t access to restrooms because my boss closed them due to COVID restrictions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 176

Get back here

By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 136

You deserved it 35 982

Next

Top comments

Amanda Beltran 2

Sunday 21 March 2021 20:44

Dude. I work at a gas station. All of a sudden a customer and the pump caught fire. that was over 3 yrs ago. I still have a hard time pumping gas. I yell and cuss at everyone I see smoking at the pump. I

Jesse Duff 15

Sunday 21 March 2021 1:05

blow torches are free, and instant cremation is a bonus

Comments

Jesse Duff 15

Sunday 21 March 2021 1:05

blow torches are free, and instant cremation is a bonus

ojoRojo 27

Sunday 21 March 2021 14:13

Duck and cover

Amanda Beltran 2

Sunday 21 March 2021 20:44

Dude. I work at a gas station. All of a sudden a customer and the pump caught fire. that was over 3 yrs ago. I still have a hard time pumping gas. I yell and cuss at everyone I see smoking at the pump. I

alex_jaguara 31

Sunday 21 March 2021 20:52

Next time douse him with a fire extinguisher. I saw that happen on video.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 624

You deserved it 34 713

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 183

You deserved it 47 587

The Top

Today, I spent $20 on a spray tan, $30 to have my make up done, and $50 on a pretty new dress all for a special date with my boyfriend. It turns out I spent $100 just to get dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 050

You deserved it 8 479

Today, my cat is shedding her winter fur, so wherever she goes she leaves a cloud of fluff behind. She is also in heat for the first time, so I have to keep her inside – just to make sure that my nice, clean house doesn’t miss out on even a single one of her precious hairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 724

Today, I hooked up with a girl. The condom fell off when I pulled out. When the girl left, I couldn't find it. I saw my roommate cat's with it, so I chased him and he escaped. My roommate now wants to kill me. She found the condom on her bed and doesn't believe me. I might have to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 463

You deserved it 574

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 042

You deserved it 55 238

Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends, and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 689

You deserved it 26 934

Today, the guy I like, who told me he “is trying to heal from his divorce,” just got a girlfriend. He calls her “the one that made me believe in love again.” I spent almost a year being a friend, supporting his every need, and hopelessly holding it down for him. Good to know I’m not good enough and never will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 597