Sex, Smells and Intimacy: Turn me on

Turn me on

By shmelly - 16/04/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 976

You deserved it 22 232

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Same thing different taste

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 227

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 645

You deserved it 9 529

Steamy

By Anonymous - 20/05/2019 06:35

Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 3 303

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 735

You deserved it 7 998

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 051

You deserved it 1 143

Crotch rot of the mouth

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 356

By KaiyaOtaku1 - 14/07/2014 23:48 - United States - Seattle

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 862

You deserved it 6 654

By fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 299

You deserved it 8 639

Bummed out

By Anon - 11/11/2023 04:00

Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 712

By InvAzn - 14/12/2017 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 574

You deserved it 2 355

THC_Overdose 0

Friday 16 April 2010 12:10

haha this made me laugh

karebear9 0

Friday 16 April 2010 12:12

ewww dude go wash that nastiness... ydi

Comments

Destiwana 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 16:48

LULZ I R 12 GUYZ LULULULUL ABSINENZZ!!!!!!!!1!

SamPhooey 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 4:12

You're boy friend is a retard LOL , fyl:p

sj_fml 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 21:42

Well, look on the bright side, at least he didnt say "Caution, may contain nuts"

Noname7453 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 2:21

Omg so funny.

emily666 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 7:19

**** alert!!

tedharrison 0

Sunday 15 April 2012 7:19

Hahaha thats hilarious

Grauncho 27

Saturday 3 November 2012 12:34

Wow. And you let this loser near your ******?

tyrabroadway 4

Friday 25 January 2013 9:42

That's why you always make sure you take a bath before engaging in any activity.

CyberGothic 16

Wednesday 11 December 2013 5:32

Dump. Him. Yesterday.

Arcanel 18

Thursday 3 July 2014 3:48

serious question did he say that but continue to go down on you or did he just stop?! if he continued its obviously a joke but if he stopped figure out why maybe it was a bad day and it usually doesn't smell so figure it out !