Intimacy: True love waits

True love waits

By Acolyte of the Bacon God - 15/02/2013 19:50 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 166

You deserved it 10 410

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Same thing different taste

Anticlimactic

By JC12345 - 18/03/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 976

You deserved it 13 830

By Anonymous - 02/11/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all this, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 133

You deserved it 5 108

By soisblueballsdickhead - 26/10/2014 14:25 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 027

You deserved it 9 703

Let down

By anonymous - 21/06/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 214

You deserved it 17 253

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 404

You deserved it 8 025

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 607

You deserved it 90 938

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 564

You deserved it 12 434

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 754

You deserved it 4 406

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 422

You deserved it 7 538

Last trip

By cap - 09/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 232

You deserved it 305

Serisent 26

Saturday 16 February 2013 2:38

Perhaps, since she 'finally' agreed to it, she just wasn't ready? Or, perhaps your performance was also uninspiring to her.

HowieDoIt 21

Saturday 16 February 2013 2:42

So you fantasized about eating sticks? Are you sure you didn't enjoy it for another reason?

Comments

cman90 4

Saturday 16 February 2013 15:09

Those breadsticks are amazing lol

SWC_Penguin 17

Saturday 16 February 2013 15:12

YDI for thinking the first time is ever good. Welcome to being. human.

zachallred 4

Saturday 16 February 2013 20:01

Probably means you're gay... But being gay is cool now and there's lots of cool gay dudes out there so you're good. :)

KennyDidIt 9

Saturday 16 February 2013 20:26

I'm sure Freud would have a field day with the implications of that daydream...

salarroyo10 2

Saturday 16 February 2013 20:26

It's you not her! Learn some new tricks and work with what you got.

10showgirl 16

Saturday 16 February 2013 21:53

You know... My friend and I have an inside joke about their breadsticks and alfredo sauce... XD

LittleFluffy 1

Sunday 17 February 2013 0:44

Well, Olive Garden does have good breadsticks.

Pensu 12

Sunday 17 February 2013 1:47

Freudian implications of fantasizing about bread sticks aside, if it was that bad for you I can't imagine how unpleasant it must have been for her.

durkagihad 12

Sunday 17 February 2013 7:01

He really means fish sticks

twinkie193 6

Sunday 17 February 2013 8:24

Been their leave her ass it doesn't get better fast enough to wait haha

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 37 942

You deserved it 14 031

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I agree, your life sucks 22 737

You deserved it 1 428

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 41 930

You deserved it 3 878

Today, I received a text from my dad, which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replied, jokingly asked if he had a stroke while writing it. A few seconds after hitting send, I remembered the stroke he suffered last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 755

You deserved it 54 870

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I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 74

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I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 200

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I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 976

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I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 945