Animals: Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes....

By Anonymous - 23/08/2012 16:50 - Canada - London

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 652

You deserved it 29 800

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/05/2018 02:33

Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 533

You deserved it 996

By Anonymous - 07/05/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 760

You deserved it 4 692

What ARE you doing?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 350

You deserved it 1 523

Pests

By mom - 30/01/2024 11:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 214

Uh oh

By uh-oh - 25/03/2012 05:49 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 609

You deserved it 3 729

Animal Farm

By Jaden Dubin - 31/07/2020 08:02

Today, I found a mouse stuck in a glue trap at work. I had to take it home to get it off with oil, and then I released it outside. Twenty minutes later, the cat returned it to me, dead. After that, the dogs dug it up where I buried it. Sorry, mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 438

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 17:35 - Canada

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 398

You deserved it 12 862

Scared for life

By Mary - 16/02/2010 00:08 - United States

Today, like most days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice, but this time he brought this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family "brave" enough to go fetch our cat's gifts. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 937

You deserved it 3 074

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2012 06:17 - United States - Oakland

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 277

You deserved it 3 681

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 15:30 - United States

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 690

You deserved it 18 296

americanLegion1 2

Thursday 23 August 2012 23:03

That sounds so horrific but for some reason I can't help but to giggle.

Psych101 9

Thursday 23 August 2012 23:03

I really doubt the "I like turtles" kid would have said that after watching this.

Comments

kvltzl 7

Friday 24 August 2012 0:47

you are amongst the greatest of assholes. mice are brilliant little creatures and actually get attached to humans. shame on you for completely wasting that baby's already horribly purposed existence.

runnamuk 6

Friday 24 August 2012 1:16

Dude, chill. The OP didn't kill the mice, had no say in whether or not mice would be bred for food, and certainly didn't make snakes or turtles like to eat mice. All the OP did was miss count how many needed to be thawed, and then did the opposite of wasting the dead mouse (which would be throwing it away) by utilizing it as turtle food (potentially saving other animals from having to take the mouse's place as dinner). If this makes the OP an asshole then I seriously underestimated the cultural necessity of The Count from Sesame Street.

dmac843 2

Friday 24 August 2012 1:22

The mouse was already dead moron!

katie1989 9

Friday 24 August 2012 3:05

All our mice are humanely euthanized prior to being frozen. Keep your panties on.

TheDarkCynder 2

Friday 24 August 2012 4:36

Assuming you're vegetarian.

SataN201 0

Friday 24 August 2012 0:48

life

sweetmama88 6

Friday 24 August 2012 0:56

Omg those turtles must have been hungry!

Franorox 8

Friday 24 August 2012 0:58

The thought of that is actually quite funny

nmlutgen 11

Friday 24 August 2012 1:29

Must have been awesome to witness!

lexi365 20

Friday 24 August 2012 1:32

Save the turtles!.... I meant mice!

Zachthejoker 10

Friday 24 August 2012 1:34

The funniest things in life, are the most scarring

xrawritsashleyx 11

Friday 24 August 2012 2:02

why is everyone saying he deserved it? I don't understand... it wasn't his fault as soon as he fed the turtles , the kids walked by. He couldn't control that..