Intimacy: Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend,...

By BDSM4Jesus - 20/01/2015 04:42 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 139

You deserved it 4 547

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Same thing different taste

By syl - 11/02/2010 06:18 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 305

You deserved it 5 219

By WWJD - 01/03/2017 12:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 308

You deserved it 1 594

Like a virgin

By JustSomeGuy - 30/07/2013 03:43 - United States - Bulverde

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 085

You deserved it 9 617

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 960

You deserved it 9 117

By ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 156

You deserved it 3 423

By JAY22 - 26/03/2009 11:41 - United States

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 224 105

You deserved it 35 795

No gods no masters

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 09:00 - United States - North Royalton

Today, during a intense orgasm I screamed, "You're my God!" at my husband. Afterwards, he told me I was blasphemous and reminded me that God smites those with false prophets. Needless to say, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut in the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 126

By 504-A1 - 11/05/2012 22:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 481

You deserved it 10 406

By milked - 27/02/2015 05:28 - United States

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 398

You deserved it 6 856

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 333

Storvolleng 28

Tuesday 20 January 2015 12:00

do the next best thing and shout "oh god!" he would be so pissed if you said his fathers name!

Excelz 10

Tuesday 20 January 2015 12:01

Jesus should already be inside you anyway.

Comments

salamancer 11

Tuesday 20 January 2015 15:29

He's watching.

ajs1987 15

Tuesday 20 January 2015 15:36

Forgive him, he knew not what he was doing.

GunSlinger69 19

Tuesday 20 January 2015 15:54

Hey be proud, you are dating Jesus.

buckdharma 36

Tuesday 20 January 2015 17:07

He'll take you to the promised land, and he only has one commandment. Thou shall not spit.

Ki11erC 18

Tuesday 20 January 2015 17:42

Even reading the comments I don't see the issue? Unless you're extremely religious...

Vestin 18

Tuesday 20 January 2015 17:57

Second coming, huh?

LaurenRoxsU 9

Tuesday 20 January 2015 23:35

@37, I just aspirated my beverage. That was the best comment ever.

CaliCassanova 14

Tuesday 20 January 2015 19:38

He just wants you to worship him it's a domination thing! Be open minded OP if u give in to it a little you might like it!

buckdharma 36

Tuesday 20 January 2015 20:02

Must not be that great for you, if it takes him 3 days to rise again.

kirbs19 37

Tuesday 20 January 2015 20:44

What was he thinking?

pedinhuh 23

Tuesday 20 January 2015 21:45

...dear god!

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I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 379

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You deserved it 6 705

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You deserved it 4 367

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I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 160

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I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 113

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I agree, your life sucks 12 993

You deserved it 28 756

Same thing different taste

Like a virgin

No gods no masters

Pick your moments, dude!

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