Intimacy: Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower...

By blocked_by_fire - 17/04/2012 18:13 - United States - Pullman

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 722

You deserved it 4 510

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Same thing different taste

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 546

This old house

By Anonymous - 31/08/2022 16:00

Today, the smoke alarm went off while I was in the shower. Fearing a house fire, I jumped out and ran out, wearing just a tiny towel that barely covered my modesty, only to realize that water was coming through the ceiling and on to the smoke alarm, via a leak in the shower tray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 127

By wookieewhosshe - 19/03/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 383

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 436

By Jerf - 24/06/2009 00:56 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 904

You deserved it 9 805

Sexy morning

By Anonymous - 15/01/2020 00:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 740

You deserved it 274

Sexy time

By Msmerfner - 03/08/2013 08:40 - United States - Hemet

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 477

You deserved it 16 098

Quiet down!

By grooveshark - 30/09/2020 20:01

Today, I could hear my parents having sex from the other end of my house. My mom set the stove on fire because she forgot she was cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 307

You deserved it 125

By chinesef000d - 29/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 952

You deserved it 3 196

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 190

You deserved it 8 408

gigglingalways 6

Wednesday 18 April 2012 0:16

I guess things got a little too hot and heavy

laden_swallow09 34

Wednesday 18 April 2012 0:19

Doesn't matter, had sex?

Comments

namhowell 6

Wednesday 18 April 2012 0:24

It's still mind-blowing!

lolfood 24

Wednesday 18 April 2012 0:24

Sex on fire!

micahsmommy 13

Wednesday 18 April 2012 5:45

Instead of hot and steamy it was hot and smokey.

ayyemmcee 1

Wednesday 18 April 2012 0:25

Ahhh kitchen fires are always a cockblock.

demonkonga 5

Wednesday 18 April 2012 0:27

Lol that would be one of the greatest way to cockblock some one

KillSwitch96 18

Wednesday 18 April 2012 1:22

What? Set their kitchen on fire? That would be the worst way to **** block someone... You would, if caught, be arrested for arson, vandalism, and countless other things...

alyspar2 5

Wednesday 18 April 2012 0:27

Doesn't matter ha sex?:)

laden_swallow09 34

Friday 20 April 2012 17:47

Beatcha to it

alyspar2 5

Saturday 21 April 2012 2:03

Yeahhh By the time i noticed it I couldn't delete it. Sorryy.(: haha

omzz05 2

Wednesday 18 April 2012 0:31

Hhah **** blocked by fire good one.. Not gnna lie sex in the shower is ****** amazing... Till the water bill comes along.. Which it will lol

dsypher 0

Wednesday 18 April 2012 0:32

I guess her kitchen skills weren't up to par

Nothingson1864 0

Thursday 19 April 2012 5:05

F*ck you

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 18 April 2012 0:32

Your girlfriend's screaming should have easily been enough to drown out the alarm. If you could actually hear the smoke alarm over the sounds of the shower AND the sex, then it wasn't as mind-blowing as you thought, Casanova.

aileen15 15

Wednesday 18 April 2012 0:52

OP got owned by docbastard lmao but I do agree with docbastard wasnt as mindblowing cus u can hear the smoke alarm -.-

RaggleFrock 13

Wednesday 18 April 2012 1:10

What?! Smoke alarms are loud as hell. I had a house fire once and I was asleep and im a deep sleeper that thing woke me up and saved my life.

mikeymayhem_87 15

Wednesday 18 April 2012 1:18

That depends on the fire alarm. I have heard a few alarms that could overpower a large-scale concert! But I will assume Doc is right, as usual.

CRC_101 31

Wednesday 18 April 2012 1:30

Sorry Doc, but why not let the couple enjoy their sex? A girl doesn't have to be screaming for it to be superb. If she's a quiet one, she's a quiet one, and anything a guy does to try to make her scream would probably make the sex horrible. Granted, if OP's claiming this sex was better than anyone else's in the world ever, he's obviously wrong. He doesn't sound that arrogant, however. I would presume he means "ever" in reference to what he personally experiences. On a side note, it's lucky they were quiet enough to hear the alarm, or they would have lost much more of the kitchen. Additionally, OP never claimed that the alarm sound was the only indicator that there was a large fire in the house; there are many other symptoms of a fire that might have warned them also. Excellent burn though, as usual ^_^ My personal input is that it's unwarranted.