Intimacy: Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour,...

By nickyboy - 02/12/2010 17:02 - Australia

Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 898

You deserved it 8 673

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 92

By godhatesme - 10/12/2011 08:45 - United States

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 125

You deserved it 20 722

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 13:04 - Malta

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 631

You deserved it 34 714

By Ignorant - 07/10/2017 06:00

Today, my husband and I had a HUGE fight, but we had amazing make up sex so I figured it was over. When I woke up, I realized my mistake. I was tied to the four bed posts completely naked and a sign was taped on the ceiling. "Repairman coming in an hour. Gave him a key. Have all your clothes. Have fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 975

You deserved it 889

By imatotalloser - 28/07/2017 05:00

Today, after months of telling my landlord about the weak floorboards in my living room, I fell through them as I was trying to repair them myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 265

You deserved it 340

By Mrs. Ned - 09/09/2015 02:00 - United States - Incline Village

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 900

You deserved it 3 081

This is why we can't have nice things.

By Anonymous - 29/09/2017 20:00

Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 196

You deserved it 444

By fhe - 16/04/2012 15:52 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 641

You deserved it 2 680

Mr Rogers

By Anonymous - 29/11/2023 05:00

Today, I met my upstairs neighbours in person. They had been having vigorous sex and all of a sudden I heard a loud, “OH SHIT” and they both fell through the ceiling and ended up on top of me on my sofa, covered in plaster and dust, and stark naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 137

Funny guy

By kinkyapparently - 22/10/2015 14:47 - United States - San Juan Capistrano

Today, my husband broke his toe after tripping over one of our dog's toys. Instead of telling the doctors what actually happened, he said it was "sex related". I had to sit there, beet red with embarrassment, getting weird looks while he giggled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 179

You deserved it 2 510

DrAwesome 6

Thursday 2 December 2010 23:55

She was talking about YOU, silly! She already wants to marry you! :D

CitrusGirl 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 23:50

You are probably a very unobservant fellow. If she's your neighbor you should probably see his car at least.

Comments

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

Friday 3 December 2010 0:08

desperate housewives.....NICE

Doortje 29

Friday 3 December 2010 0:20

The " " ruined the punchline.

Doortje 29

Friday 3 December 2010 13:03

They're gone now. First it was Today, while having sex on the couch with my "single" neighbor [...]. FML

machiko_fml 0

Friday 3 December 2010 0:24

Well why don't you fix it instead OP.

treesdevin 0

Friday 3 December 2010 1:43

your eyesss ... <3 ^.^

moosemonkey1000 6

Friday 3 December 2010 5:01

are creepy

austo97 0

Friday 3 December 2010 7:45

coming from the cookie monster?

Euphemism 0

Friday 3 December 2010 11:58

tree. The girl, is Brookelle mckenzcie. Something, she is infamous for her modeling of emo stylist. Google, and you'll be disappointed that you're flirting with a imposter.

twitchy73 0

Friday 3 December 2010 0:43

Makes you wonder how many other guys she had gotten onto the couch. Obviously enough to break it.

twitchy73 0

Friday 3 December 2010 0:43

Makes you wonder how many other guys she had gotten onto the couch. Obviously enough to break it.

KingDingALing 9

Friday 3 December 2010 0:43

So what? You're getting laid, OP. Be happy, you lucky sum-bitch.

xspaniardx 3

Friday 3 December 2010 0:47

What a *****! 8) But wait, shouldn't you know that she has a husband if she's your neighbor? But yet again, y should you care, you're A. Getting laid and B. She obviously doesn't care or she would have told you. Go You!

oldenuff2party 3

Friday 3 December 2010 0:47

hahah dude ur living my fantasy. now the husband of the woman ur screwing is gonna fix ur broken couch. that u broke while banging his wife. epic

SouthernRebfl 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 15:07

I agree

cooldukenukem 2

Friday 3 December 2010 0:54

Where is the fml? not your coach. you don't have to fix it. and you had sex. sounds like a win. If you were that conserned about her you wouldn't be having sex before you really knew her.