Kids: Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter....

By nick - 24/07/2012 00:52 - United States - Palm Desert

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 488

You deserved it 12 597

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Raiders4ever - 21/10/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 369

You deserved it 24 976

By Nick - 26/01/2010 21:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 778

You deserved it 18 116

By LostSoul - 10/07/2019 02:06

Today, I found out my daughter was planning a wedding and invited everyone but me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 480

Mr Whiskers takes priority

By Anonymous - 07/12/2021 16:58

Today, my daughter forgot my birthday. When I asked her, she said she'd remembered my birthday, but was too busy at work to acknowledge it. However, she did have time to post a message on Facebook, wishing a happy birthday to her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 124

By Ya_I_said_it - 26/07/2016 15:31

Today, I've been so stressed out that I forgot my own birthday. I only remembered when my mom talked to me to let me know she wasn't planning on doing anything for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 611

You deserved it 1 507

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 20:35 - United States

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 784

You deserved it 6 842

By Kimel - 22/01/2016 00:11 - France - Vincent

Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 662

You deserved it 2 331

By Amber C - 07/04/2012 03:41 - United States

Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 971

You deserved it 22 947

By adopted - 03/03/2014 15:55 - United States - New York

Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known for 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 449

You deserved it 8 574

By BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 545

You deserved it 48 181

jtthegr8 26

Tuesday 24 July 2012 9:27

Condoms... Always handy

SierraaaNicoleee 26

Tuesday 24 July 2012 9:27

Surprise!!

Comments

Meeenz 0

Sunday 29 July 2012 5:39

Just tell her how you didn't know. She'll understand. (:

fallenangel72 7

Monday 6 August 2012 7:03

Then how'd you know it's her birthday?

TianoWolf 4

Thursday 9 August 2012 21:50

what were you doin

BWilson89 4

Monday 15 September 2014 5:41

best of luck to you and the Kiddo, cherish every b day in the future now. trust me, her mom owes you and the kiddo now. Ya black mail!!!!

Dr_Awesome654 24

Friday 5 August 2016 20:01

Plot twist: OP is a woman

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 383

You deserved it 4 153

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 819

You deserved it 7 129

The Top

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 607

You deserved it 4 790

Today, my mom was helping me plan for going to college. After 30 minutes of me getting more upset, and her getting more frustrated, she directed me to Tinder, a wedding venue website, and the local address for Planned Parenthood. Her actual words were, "There's no shame in being a stay at home dad these days." FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 168

Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car. Being 17, I didn't listen. As I was backing out the driveway, I was hit by an SUV, seriously damaging my moms car. Who was driving the SUV? My mom, coming home early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 100

You deserved it 79 027

Today, I went to an old boyfriend's birthday party. An annoying friend suggested that we should try dating again. We were both with our new partners, who were standing nearby when she said that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 136

Today, I caught my husband modeling my cute floral panties. All he could manage to say was "I love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 713

You deserved it 4 861

Today, I decided to wax my eyebrows. My entire eyebrow came off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 008

You deserved it 13 910

Same thing different taste

Mr Whiskers takes priority

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