Miscellaneous: Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom.... - FML

By kelsjenks - 27/07/2011 13:50 - Canada

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 693

You deserved it 3 076

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Prehistoric

By and she blames me -_- - 13/10/2013 21:50 - Canada - Calgary

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 295

You deserved it 4 355

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 102

You deserved it 3 138

By why me - 24/10/2017 01:30

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 310

You deserved it 286

By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 16:29 - Sri Lanka

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 630

You deserved it 2 799

By Anonymous - 29/08/2013 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 807

You deserved it 2 729

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 938

You deserved it 2 004

By Matthew - 27/11/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 883

You deserved it 4 580

By Amanda - 19/11/2010 05:14

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 334

You deserved it 3 839

Put it all back

By WTFwhywouldyoudothat - 22/08/2011 22:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully, they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 080

You deserved it 4 369

By Danielle - 06/06/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 788

You deserved it 4 066

Next

Top comments

saIty 17

Wednesday 27 July 2011 19:13

Little did you know it was a magical flying broom.

metallicshadow 16

Wednesday 27 July 2011 19:11

haha ballbag

Comments

brooklynnlee 1

Thursday 28 July 2011 18:43

lmao

saminah 0

Thursday 28 July 2011 18:44

sorry I needed a broom to clean out my girlfriend.

bigjenpen 3

Thursday 28 July 2011 18:51

Did they at least sweep your floor before taking it?

TheLastZombie 3

Thursday 28 July 2011 19:13

Wow, be thankful they didn't take anything else.

jmonk 0

Thursday 28 July 2011 20:55

BALLBAG my new word lol

badactor009 0

Friday 29 July 2011 2:00

My wife just informed me that you will turn into a full fledged jack boot wearing Nazi within 72 hours. Go hang yourself while you still can.

salsalover_12 5

Friday 29 July 2011 2:10

Lol well would you rather he took all your valuables?

ukrage 1

Friday 29 July 2011 2:55

goddamn muggle stole me nimbus 2000

Timmeeh 17

Friday 29 July 2011 3:02

Wait, this is actually centred on the fact he didn't rob you more? Surely a better perspective is "Today, someone broke into my house, but only made off with a broom. MLIA."

burnout0511 0

Friday 29 July 2011 5:43

WTF at least it was nothing special right

2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Work Management Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Relatable Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Love Argument AITA Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 580

You deserved it 66 652

Today, the girl I rejected caught me making out with this girl I like. I told her I was straight in order to avoid hurting her feelings instead of telling her I wasn’t attracted to her because she was obese. She loudly called me out for lying and burst into tears, and ran off making me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 728

The Top

Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 200

Today, my family once again mocked and insulted me for being the only one to not spank my kids. Apparently, they’ll grow up entitled and in prison if I don’t. Odd, seeing as my kids are 10 times better behaved than their kids, who get spanked on a regular. Ah well, here’s to hitting kids I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 297

Today, my friend told me to try dating apps, saying, “What's the worst that could happen?” I just finished paying some girl $100 to not send a dick pic to all my Facebook friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 7 368

Today, I arrived at work early. I noticed the plants on the side of my classroom could use some water so I went out to do so. On the way, I found a beer can. Not wanting the kids to see it, I picked it up but some spilled on my dress. I quickly noticed a familiar smell. No, not beer. Urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 690

You deserved it 1 265

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 780

You deserved it 4 976

Today, I realized that I've watched so much Honey Boo Boo that I've developed a mild southern accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 1 164