Kids: Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day...

By blueberry_hill - 11/12/2010 16:16 - United States

Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 788

You deserved it 6 128

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 976

You deserved it 4 752

By me - 27/10/2010 12:36 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 217

You deserved it 5 729

By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 198

You deserved it 4 736

By Viciousvixen_21 - 02/04/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 665

You deserved it 12 243

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 026

You deserved it 6 858

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 033

You deserved it 5 237

By whoslade - 28/06/2012 17:36 - United States

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 917

You deserved it 4 586

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 963

You deserved it 277

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 392

You deserved it 66 431

By Anonymous - 20/10/2012 08:42 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 936

You deserved it 3 332

bmboente15 0

Saturday 11 December 2010 23:56

ydi for sleeping with children

therealsuperman 0

Saturday 11 December 2010 23:55

what a quick learner you've created

Comments

jhicks23 0

Monday 13 December 2010 16:24

that's because you are still saying his age in months the boy is 1yrs old show him some respect

blueberry_hill 5

Monday 13 December 2010 18:31

I had to take out the commas etc. because my computer wouldnt let me post more than 300ish characters.

ghad25 3

Tuesday 14 December 2010 1:12

that's cute

jayemdoubleyou 1

Tuesday 14 December 2010 16:09

Wow, I hope that baby didn't kick your ass too hard.

superdude9856 2

Wednesday 15 December 2010 9:32

he's your son - deal with it. people like you piss me off.

CumShott 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 21:59

I completely agree.

keneko_kills_you 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 5:00

we have a fighter!!

Just_me20 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 1:07

Ohhh the joys of parenthood! (:

Madstar744 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 12:00

Don't get me wrong, I love children. But seriously, it was your decision to have children and therefore you shouldn't complain about one of the little unpleasant things mixed in with the majority of happiness that comes with raising your child.

mustasho 0

Monday 11 July 2011 9:37

thats the making of a future UFC figther haha

ts10873 0

Friday 5 August 2011 19:26

YDI for having kids.

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Today, my husband’s dream has always been to have a big family. I however cannot physically or mentally handle having any more. He’s now threatening to hire a surrogate to continue pumping out babies for him. We already have 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 112

Today, I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. I'd always imagined it to be a romantic moment. It turned out that 'Saw 5' was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 974

You deserved it 4 222

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Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 893

You deserved it 334

Today, I've found that the water bill has been much lower than usual as of late. I then realized that this is because I'm so depressed and hardly get out at all, that I've stopped showering or even taking care of myself in general. Who do I have to impress, anyway? FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 227

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 353

You deserved it 15 546

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 146

You deserved it 3 151

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 024

You deserved it 3 504

Today, after weeks of sorting, inspecting, and waiting, my high school's yearbooks were distributed. I'd searched carefully for photo errors and was proud to say there were none. That is, until someone told me that a boy on the last page was flipping the camera the bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 808

You deserved it 4 758

Same thing different taste

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