Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our...

By Will - 15/12/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 922

You deserved it 5 070

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Roommates from hell

By HGTV - 01/10/2013 18:43 - United States - Boston

Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 866

You deserved it 4 109

Freeze peach

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 22:30

Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 266

By maturity - 08/04/2013 00:30 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 987

You deserved it 64 243

By rbates - 25/07/2009 18:32 - United States

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 784

You deserved it 60 419

By fucker43 - 02/06/2013 06:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 786

You deserved it 4 725

By Stormbringer - 01/02/2011 06:37

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 4 115

By WasteOfTime - 01/11/2009 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 355

You deserved it 3 442

Parenting fail

By Anonymous - 21/01/2020 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee. When I went back, my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, God knows where, since I don't own a permanent marker. She'd then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs and as an added bonus the TV screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 977

You deserved it 526

By dumbass1991 - 12/12/2010 19:36 - United States

Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 137

You deserved it 121 817

Goodbye

By thedancer5 - 03/08/2011 16:47 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 845

You deserved it 3 372

enough4 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 13:28

"Today I encountered an easily fixable problem that I was too stupid to look up on Google. FML"

aback 4

Tuesday 15 December 2009 12:59

Draw one on his forehead while he's asleep.

Comments

red1355 6

Monday 21 May 2012 17:38

Take a dry erase marker to it. It will erase it.

justtomuchtime 3

Sunday 15 July 2012 3:57

Buy a new refrigerator

KalCountry76 12

Thursday 18 October 2012 4:02

use nail polish remover

alliem199521 10

Monday 29 October 2012 14:13

Dumbass did u ever take chemistry? Wipe it off with acetone. (Nailpolish remover)

mhunter1990 3

Friday 22 February 2013 22:18

magic eraser!! takes permanent marker off walls too.

georgiag_93 4

Friday 3 May 2013 9:58

Go over it with a whiteboard marker and it'll come off

snowdreak 12

Friday 23 August 2013 3:10

Nail polish remover!!

emuexport 4

Friday 13 September 2013 10:25

Haha, Penis art is always funny

kill_me_now13 2

Wednesday 9 October 2013 3:27

Just go over it in expo it'll take it right off :)

bethabear12 16

Friday 1 November 2013 2:41

use hand sanitizer or rubbing alcohol

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Neighbours Cops Stressed out Parents Health Scary Cars Embarrassing Transportation Work First Dates Love My ex LGBTQIA+ Social Media Facebook Virginity Sex Intimacy Painful School Awkward Dating Tinder Jealousy Coworkers AITA Skincare

The Top

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FMLMeghan's website : http://www.kawaiinot.com/ & http://www.murphypop.com/ If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. Bu...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

Today, I was sick during the night and had to puke. I had no bucket or trashcan nearby, so I ended up puking on the floor. However, because it was so dark, I didn't notice my cat lying in the exact spot where I puked. She was not amused, giving me the mother of all death glares before she started puking herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, to surprise my boss who promoted me within the first two months of my new job, I offered to take him and a couple of coworkers out to eat. We had one minor inconvenience: my bank card declined. I was 200$ in the negative. Apparently my wife decided to take the kids winter clothes shopping. It’s fucking April. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 230

Today, a year after I moved out with no contact since, my former housemates texted me out of the blue to tell me I'm not invited to their wedding. Seems she thought I'd just turn up and "embarrass" myself. I never indicated that I intended or even wanted to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 86

Today, I was introduced to the girl my current boyfriend went out with while dating me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 304

You deserved it 1 010

Today, I was checking out a cute guy who finally approached me. He says to me, "Hi excuse me, I've been watching you for a little while, and I finally got the courage to ask you this question...who is your esthetician? I want to get my eyebrows done like yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 126

You deserved it 438

Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 887

You deserved it 4 317

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 074

You deserved it 5 616