Miscellaneous: Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

By fffemaleee - 31/05/2015 18:21 - United States - Waterford

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 268

You deserved it 3 962

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 00:36 - Austria

Today, my bag, including phone, money, keys and cards, was stolen. In a church. During my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 435

You deserved it 3 132

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 02:16 - United States

Today, I went to evening Mass. I later found that sometime between entering the church and receiving Communion, someone had snatched my iPhone straight out of my handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 262

You deserved it 5 373

By yermom - 13/12/2010 07:41 - United States

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need". After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 736

You deserved it 3 101

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 16:45 - United States - Brighton

Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 218

You deserved it 2 235

By Fuck irony - 29/10/2017 10:00 - United States - Binghamton

Today, I was volunteering at a soup kitchen and was advised to leave my wallet and cell phone in my car so they wouldn’t be stolen. Someone broke into my car and stole them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 989

You deserved it 501

By emily - 30/07/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 064

You deserved it 4 310

By alo1434 - 23/06/2011 08:54 - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 594

You deserved it 3 316

By Shortround - 30/09/2012 12:56 - United States - Wheaton

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 182

You deserved it 2 911

By foretwintie - 06/06/2009 11:18 - Canada

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 205

You deserved it 8 277

By Anonymous - 09/06/2011 23:02 - United States

Today, my new iPhone was stolen from my school locker. After canceling my service, sobbing, having my mom yell at the secretary for their lack of security and finally agreeing to change to a private school, I found it in the corner of my locker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 052

You deserved it 81 267

WCARlover 34

Monday 1 June 2015 17:00

Reminds me of the “I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness" quote:(

abNormal62 23

Monday 1 June 2015 16:59

Have somebody dial your number and see if the ministers's pocket rings!

Comments

KhaiQ 13

Monday 1 June 2015 22:53

The Church appreciates your donation.

anotherhuman 31

Monday 1 June 2015 23:21

Some sheep aren't as white as they lead on to be.

lumene 17

Monday 1 June 2015 23:47

Be glad it was your phone and not your soul!

michaeldoliszny 6

Tuesday 2 June 2015 0:43

How are you posting this if your phone was stolen?

Nova900 17

Tuesday 2 June 2015 0:47

That's how the church works: Don't be good, but just be bad and then ask for forgiveness.

Marebare23 17

Tuesday 2 June 2015 0:55

They better go to confession.

rockwrench 18

Tuesday 2 June 2015 1:14

Crooks sometimes attend church because of the easy targets. You have to be on guard all the time.

PhinIt2WinIt 24

Tuesday 2 June 2015 2:00

shortest fml I've ever read on here.

jforren 14

Tuesday 2 June 2015 2:06

Being a Christian and a good person don't automatically go hand in hand. Sorry about your phone OP!

valkyire 8

Tuesday 2 June 2015 2:22

Church is for sinners

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The Top

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 946

You deserved it 28 260

Today, my family keeps pestering me about whether I've contacted my father yet. My father, the one who treated me and my family like crap throughout my upbringing and cheated on my mom a few years ago. I don't know why they think I'd ever want to see him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 68

The Top

Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 810

You deserved it 41 535

Today, a few hours after me and my husband had sex, he mumbled, "This is why I hate sex," as he left to grab some Tylenol. Apparently, he's so out of shape that basic sex made his muscles too sore to sleep. This is the first time in two weeks we've had sex. I'm always the one that has to ask for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 202

You deserved it 317

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 275

You deserved it 408

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 583

You deserved it 4 008

Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 615

You deserved it 2 853

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 202

You deserved it 5 709

Same thing different taste

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