Love: Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a... - FML

By noname - 14/01/2009 06:33 - France

Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 744

You deserved it 2 714

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Kids these days…

By jenabp - 03/01/2011 18:56 - United States

Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year-old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 835

You deserved it 4 675

Genetics

By Anonymous - 29/09/2021 17:00

Today, my twin sister gave birth and somehow now weighs less than before she was pregnant. She also has huge boobs now and not a stretch mark in sight. Meanwhile, I’m still carrying an extra 15 pounds, even though I gave birth 5 years ago, and so many stretch marks I look like a fat zebra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 499

You deserved it 323

By marquez_jasmine - 21/07/2012 15:08 - Canada - Kingston

Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 476

You deserved it 3 724

By Noname - 13/03/2009 20:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 126

You deserved it 7 927

Streaky

By Anonymous - 02/09/2021 02:00

Today, my 3 year-old saw the stretch marks on my stomach and proudly exclaimed, "Bacon!" After talking with my husband, he admitted that he agreed with our son's evaluation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 140

By fat - 12/07/2010 07:52 - United States

Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 186

You deserved it 50 239

Assumptions

By sama - 06/01/2021 11:03 - United States - San Jose

Today, I was asked why I have stretch marks when I’m skinny. The stretch marks are from when I was recovering anorexic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 97

By Anonymous - 19/05/2013 18:33 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 814

You deserved it 7 814

By preggers - 30/11/2011 14:57 - Canada

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 581

You deserved it 3 941

By tiffany - 18/09/2012 18:24 - Canada

Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 335

You deserved it 2 912

Next

Top comments

Tyler_Durden_fml 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 13:39

aw, come on, he's just trying to say that he doesn't care if you have strechmarks or not. you should be lucky with a guy like that.

Kathrina_fml 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 10:20

I understand about the stretch marks making you feel self conscious. But... 'my little zebra' is really cute. Maybe the tone he said it in wasn't? I'd rather a guy accept all my flaws and make light of them to show me he doesn't care about them than secretly contemplate them. He sounds like he loves you.

Comments

XBCX96 4

Tuesday 23 February 2010 6:51

thats pretty funny, but it could be worse. you could be his "fat little bitch." that makes zebra sound really good doesnt it lol

01daksport 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 3:53

Either you were big and got small, or you were small and got big!! Either hhway, we fu__in!! Look stretch marks aint shit don't worry about it

afallingstar 22

Friday 16 April 2010 23:38

those are marks of being a mom...don't be ashamed be a proud sexy mama

lawlita 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 6:30

Well obviously youre not a "little" zebra then, are you! ;)

brainmelt 0

Wednesday 28 April 2010 20:31

awh... i actually think that is cute.

cleveland_girl 2

Friday 10 June 2011 11:21

I can see why you may be upset but honestly im only 13 and ive had stretch marks on my boobs since 6th grade.

mylifepwnz 0

Monday 20 June 2011 2:22

so fricking ungrateful

Virginia6810 16

Wednesday 22 June 2011 4:04

doesn't work. it can help put them off but if it's in the genes you're getting stretch marks no matter what u do.

colecolecole 0

Monday 11 July 2011 5:52

hahahhahab

Littlebrraatt 14

Wednesday 13 July 2011 7:37

FTW!!!

Keywords

Management Work Friends Miscellaneous Awkward Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Birthday Family Money Gifts Mother in law Parents Public freakouts Education Students Exams Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my knob was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 236

You deserved it 6 703

Today, I came home from work to see a pair of panties I hadn't worn lying on the floor. I picked them up and they were all crunchy. It turns out that while I'm away, my boyfriend uses my underwear as a vessel for his semen. He claims this is normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 396

You deserved it 362

The Top

Today, I gave my mother a pre-prepared deposit envelope with my fortnightly wage in it, in cash. I tell her exactly where the deposit box is and what to do. I'm now desperately calling the bank because my mother accidentely put my $1200 deposit in the little trash can for receipts under the ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 931

You deserved it 13 932

Today, I spent over $20 at the laundromat doing two weeks of laundry, just to avoid using the facilities in my apartment complex and having to deal with my creepy landlord trying to steal my underwear again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 1 618

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. As part of my presents, my parents gave me prepaid debit card. When I got home, I looked at it again and realized it's the debit card you get from selling back books to our university bookstore. I bought my own books this year. They gave me my own refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 694

You deserved it 2 912

Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 268

You deserved it 4 002

Today, I'm running on two hours sleep thanks to our new baby. My partner slept all night, and when I asked them to take over so I could have a nap, they ran to bed, saying that they needed to sleep. Why? Apparently, the baby noise woke them up "once or twice" and they needed the extra sleep more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 235

Today, I was in the middle of a chemistry exam when I felt an urgent need to fart that was difficult to hold in. I sit in the back, so I tried to do the "One Cheek Sneak." It came out sounding like a loud, obnoxious kazoo. The professor remarked, "No hazardous chemicals outside the lab!" Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 215