Love: Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends...

By a - 10/04/2013 19:09 - United States

Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 380

You deserved it 7 025

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Living his best life

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 06:00

Today, my husband, who I love more than anything, announced that he was gay, couldn't live a lie anymore, and moved out of the house. I'm utterly devastated, and when I tried to cry to my friends, they said I should celebrate his courage and stop being selfish, then ran off to party with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 93

By Toloveornottolove - 12/06/2016 16:08 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend proposed. I was about to call my parents and tell them we're getting married, but they called me first to announce they're getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 174

You deserved it 1 104

By ZaraAce - 15/04/2011 11:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband of 30 years told me that he thought we should 'just be friends'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 175

You deserved it 4 760

The iron is hot

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 17:00 - United States - West Lafayette

Today, my supposed "best friend" started going out with the girl I'd just split up with, immediately after she said she wanted to see other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 90

By notahomewrecker - 09/01/2010 16:07 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I'd been seeing for a few weeks. It was his wife calling to find out what was going on with us. He told me he was separated. He left his kids home alone to hook up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 889

You deserved it 5 016

Feelings

By Anon - 19/10/2020 07:57 - United States

Today, my parents told me, after 30 years of marriage, that they are getting a divorce. I went to my boyfriend's apartment because I needed some comfort. While sobbing to him, he decided to dump me on the spot because my reaction to the news was "immature" and he wants an "adult" relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 341

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 200

You deserved it 4 580

Crossroads

By Anonymous - 12/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my husband of nearly a decade told me he's been sleeping with his best friend for a year, and also a couple times with my best friend. Marriage destroyed. Life in shambles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 84

By Really - 15/01/2016 16:25 - United States - Butte

Today, I told my mother that, after years of cheating and abuse, I'm finally getting a divorce. Her reaction was deep concern that my husband might not want to "be friends" with the rest of the family any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 384

You deserved it 1 557

By Oops - 02/11/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 611

You deserved it 14 934

Applejacks18 15

Wednesday 10 April 2013 23:47

It sounds like you'll be better off without him.

MichellinMan 20

Wednesday 10 April 2013 23:47

What a bunch of assholes. Give em' a good slap in the face!

Comments

sweethang26 7

Friday 12 April 2013 6:13

...And that's the difference between girls and guys..

IsRaeliPrinCess 8

Friday 12 April 2013 12:37

Good call on the divorce

olfool 3

Saturday 13 April 2013 19:31

What do you care? you're getting divorced to him.

Late_night83 25

Sunday 14 April 2013 4:09

Suck.

escobar07 10

Monday 15 April 2013 19:51

Well what do you expect him to do? Not bust a nut? Go Get yourself some **** to

Ruuku 11

Monday 22 April 2013 12:45

top lad

garret420 3

Friday 26 April 2013 5:55

Take his ass for every thing he's worth

Anyb0dyTh 8

Friday 9 August 2013 5:39

Awe. That's sad. Hope you feel better

fourth_line_dust 20

Saturday 26 April 2014 19:03

Divorcing is dumb

fantasyworld 37

Sunday 12 July 2015 17:27

Good thing you're getting divorced.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I came home from work to see a pair of panties I hadn't worn lying on the floor. I picked them up and they were all crunchy. It turns out that while I'm away, my boyfriend uses my underwear as a vessel for his semen. He claims this is normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 396

You deserved it 362

Today, I was supposed to be working from home. Instead, I ended up taking the kids out to the park for the morning, because my wife “couldn’t even” today. When we got home, she had demolished two bottles of wine, and was masturbating to a home improvement show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 983

You deserved it 312

The Top

Today, my boss fired me because a coworker had seen me reading magazines on the job. That same coworker was the one who offered me the magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 116

You deserved it 7 929

Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 708

You deserved it 1 779

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was, "trying to change her." A week ago I asked her to stop talking to the 6 guys that have all previously asked her for nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 564

You deserved it 1 188

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 916

You deserved it 3 320

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 506

You deserved it 55 411

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's ex. I decided to be a good person and hold the door for her as we walked into the store. She decided to be the bitch she is and stomp on my foot as she walked through the open doorway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 931

You deserved it 6 763