Animals: Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds...

By stupiddog - 15/04/2014 12:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 364

You deserved it 5 275

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

It's a doggy dog world

By Zach Got Robbed - 08/01/2014 23:02 - United States - Clifton

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 404

You deserved it 5 307

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 02:07 - United States - Southfield

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 454

You deserved it 2 484

Who's a good boy?

By Anonymous - 08/05/2020 20:00

Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 392

You deserved it 204

By Username - 13/04/2011 07:05

Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 314

You deserved it 16 492

By ZAnon - 06/02/2015 07:06 - United States - Houston

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 701

You deserved it 3 819

Unattack dog

By woofwoof - 30/12/2014 04:17 - Turkey - Izmir

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 029

You deserved it 2 995

Very smart

By Leauge - 28/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 428

You deserved it 300

By whykarma - 26/03/2013 21:17 - United States - Waxhaw

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 920

You deserved it 3 496

By tannerrosetx_1 - 06/04/2015 11:44 - United States - Irving

Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 123

You deserved it 3 722

By FML - 05/10/2014 23:30 - United States - Houston

Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 775

You deserved it 3 164

IllestRated 17

Tuesday 15 April 2014 19:18

That's quite the SITuation.

tellyc 27

Tuesday 15 April 2014 19:15

Atleast they are obedient ?

Comments

Befriended 7

Saturday 19 April 2014 6:36

The fact that you trained them to attack is quite amazing!

HotchCus 2

Saturday 19 April 2014 9:58

lol this was stolen from ifunny

wigglecow 3

Saturday 19 April 2014 21:17

What happened after he said sit?

PieReaper 11

Sunday 20 April 2014 6:41

Get a cat

fmlrulesBolt 14

Sunday 20 April 2014 8:17

How did this turn out

Simple_SAM 2

Monday 21 April 2014 18:58

That is why police dogs are trained in a different language...Try German.

darkfireflame 15

Thursday 24 April 2014 20:39

A .357 Magnum doesn't obey anyone but you.

onorexveritas 23

Friday 25 April 2014 22:54

this makes me want to train my dogs in a different language

punk_cowboi 5

Tuesday 20 May 2014 7:24

Well then I guess it's lucky he didn't tell them to attack!

tyi020 11

Saturday 27 June 2015 23:03

Omg this is the best fml I have ever seen.

Keywords

Love Video games Gamers Health Gross Weird First Dates Smells Technology Parents Kids Annoying Dogs Animals Jealousy AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media

The Top

Today, no matter how well we tried to raise out daughter, things aren't looking too bright. I was present, I listened, and she told me her problems. My husband was always there for her too, no matter what. She works and studies but her role models consist of celebrities and girls who sell themselves on OnlyFans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 174

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 796

You deserved it 16 310

The Top

Today, I went skiing for the very first time and spent more time falling down than actually skiing. Despite the fact that I'm up here in the mountains for another week with my family, I'm never trying that again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 366

Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company I work at. I have to be there in 10 minutes. I'm stuck on the toilet with the runs because I thought it would be a good idea to eat hot chicken wings last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 568

You deserved it 26 084

Today, I was pulling out of my driveway and was watching out for the flowers I'd just planted. I moved my head to look out of my window to avoid them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head, broke my nose and drove all over the flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 659

You deserved it 43 237

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 023

You deserved it 2 519

Today, I applied for a job and got called in for an interview. I lied on my resume stating that I speak Japanese fluently. Turns out, my potential employer is half-Japanese and wants to conduct the interview entirely in Japanese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 13 893

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 086

You deserved it 8 814