Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked,...

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 23:54 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 971

You deserved it 26 604

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Same thing different taste

Quick, hide!

By Mattyboy - 24/08/2009 09:57 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 929

You deserved it 18 640

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 992

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 641

You deserved it 86 671

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 377

You deserved it 8 733

By mal - 08/05/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 160

You deserved it 6 257

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 14:06 - Canada

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 905

You deserved it 39 500

Back to reality

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 947

You deserved it 28 262

Kinky

By sad_dad - 24/10/2009 17:35 - Canada

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower. Instead, I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 172

You deserved it 10 310

By orcatheseapanda - 09/01/2016 05:14 - Thailand

Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 176

You deserved it 1 413

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 13:04 - Malta

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 630

You deserved it 34 714

illmatic2 16

Friday 16 September 2011 8:50

Obviously a MILF.

s0m3guy2010 21

Friday 16 September 2011 9:10

I bet OP really wishes he had a moment with a Twix bar.

Comments

albow2dking007 14

Friday 16 September 2011 10:43

woah...milf alert...let the drama BEGIN!!!

raauul_4 5

Friday 16 September 2011 11:09

Lucky!!! Sex with a MILF Is every guy's dream!

dacubs 1

Friday 16 September 2011 11:19

OP was in a Southwest Airline Commercial Need to get away?

shooterbuddy 8

Friday 16 September 2011 11:21

Mother and daughter tag team . Now that would be great .

denvan 0

Friday 16 September 2011 11:25

Was her butt firm? MILF FTW!

nephilim241 19

Friday 16 September 2011 11:32

OP's gf is clearly called Stacey

Vash_41288 10

Friday 16 September 2011 11:46

I was going to say insert porno music but Jimmy Hendrix's voodoo child started playing in my head.... Hmm actually still works i like :D

whited666 0

Friday 16 September 2011 12:05

You girlfriend was the one who said it(she used her man voice)

eff5 0

Friday 16 September 2011 12:13

milf and cookies you say!

eln3mo13 8

Friday 16 September 2011 12:21

if their asses look that similar then DAAAMMMNNN!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 778

You deserved it 5 102

Today, I had sex with someone new for the first time after my 10 year relationship ended. The person was a friend who had been making serious sexual references toward me on and off over the year I've known him. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed that he couldn't keep it up, or that I came from anticipation anyways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 282

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of six years broke up with me over video chat. Two days before I was to move across the country to be with him. All of my things are already shipped. He said he thinks of me as a sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 416

You deserved it 1 086

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. Thirty minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 138

You deserved it 21 490

Today, I love my boyfriend very much don’t get me wrong, but we’re both still young and I don't want sex yet. I thought we were on the same page, I think we still are, but last night he attempted to make me horny. He said some dirty things and I'm not into that. I have big boobs, so guys hit on me a lot, but I thought he was different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 345

Today, I'm an adjudicator for our school's debate team, collectively I have over 20 years experience both as a debater and as an adjudicator, and yet I have no idea how my daughter manages to convince me she deserves an extra dessert and to stay up an hour past bedtime every single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 976

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 885

You deserved it 6 111

Today, I'm so excited and can't wait to join work after my maternity break, but the thought of being away from my baby is just killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 255