Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she...

By Acne_problems - 22/02/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 261

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Same thing different taste

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 283

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 582

You deserved it 6 492

By Anonymous - 14/10/2015 13:45 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 729

You deserved it 3 424

By constantine - 04/02/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 495

You deserved it 3 466

By Anonymous - 04/09/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 130

You deserved it 474

By littlespoon - 04/02/2010 08:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 453

You deserved it 3 561

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 549

Poor little guy

By CatLady - 09/06/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 317

You deserved it 6 044

Sick move, bro

By jlw1998 - 25/04/2016 04:36 - United States - Dallas

Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 492

You deserved it 4 506

Overreaction much?

By Anonymous - 04/10/2014 15:17 - Denmark

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 995

You deserved it 3 323

timinator5000 28

Friday 22 February 2019 3:25

She's just not that into you :(

jbuckets_404 38

Friday 22 February 2019 2:39

Well, there's a quick, easy fix or two to silence that meowing. Just saying.... ;-)

Comments

jbuckets_404 38

Friday 22 February 2019 2:39

Well, there's a quick, easy fix or two to silence that meowing. Just saying.... ;-)

timinator5000 28

Friday 22 February 2019 3:25

She's just not that into you :(

RichardPencil 30

Friday 22 February 2019 4:22

So every time one popped, things got kinda pus-sy. Is this the first time one story had pussy, pussy and pus-sy all together?

Cliff6pc 15

Friday 22 February 2019 4:43

should've hit it doggy style

kujiens101 24

Friday 22 February 2019 9:45

Y’all need Jesus

bloopaloop 27

Friday 22 February 2019 13:55

I hope you were on top for the zit popping

Traveling_Book 9

Friday 22 February 2019 14:36

So a cat meowing killed the mood and not her popping zits? I’m thinking she just didn’t want to do it in the first place.

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