Love: Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she... - FML

By constantine - 04/02/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 494

You deserved it 3 466

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 390

You deserved it 22 956

By Stupidhuman - 13/04/2017 13:02 - United States - Sparta

Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 534

You deserved it 2 197

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 902

You deserved it 6 672

By Acne_problems - 22/02/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 261

Sick move, bro

By jlw1998 - 25/04/2016 04:36 - United States - Dallas

Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 492

You deserved it 4 506

Keep the peace

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 18:02 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 120

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 2 887

By Anonymous - 18/11/2014 00:56 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 805

You deserved it 35 827

Pissed

By Sally - 24/08/2018 22:00

Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 616

You deserved it 836

By Med - 13/11/2012 12:02 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 778

You deserved it 2 972

Next

Top comments

vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 18:05

No offense, but that sounds a little needy.

Imdead 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 21:27

She's self absorbed and your just a pussy if you stay with her. She'll never ever meet your needs.

Comments

badonis 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 17:01

You need to find someone better than her, then.

vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 18:05

No offense, but that sounds a little needy.

Imdead 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 21:27

She's self absorbed and your just a pussy if you stay with her. She'll never ever meet your needs.

Arcran5 0

Friday 18 June 2010 19:15

hehe, pussy.

adameeo 21

Monday 17 December 2012 20:09

Haha yeah

greenman_fml 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 22:33

puke on her carpet. apparently that's the way to get her attention

Mtti 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 7:44

kill her cat...that way the attention is focused on you.

unnecesarilythis 2

Saturday 7 November 2009 7:59

lets kill u

EvilLittleGirl 24

Sunday 4 December 2016 2:36

let's teach you this thing called humour.

CZWolf 0

Friday 6 February 2009 21:17

I seem to be having the same problem lately. g/f more interested in her cats than anything else. Or her bike in my case.

QQ_fml 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 11:17

:/ man i hate life im with you on this one

Sipos 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 1:33

What a moron. You should dump her.

itybitykity 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 2:55

That not feeling wanted shit is what caused me to cheat. Not saying I was in the right, but its not a fun feeling. :/ I'm sorry.

chewyca99 14

Thursday 26 February 2015 4:12

You are awful person :)

podrummer9209 0

Monday 23 March 2009 3:19

Bleh. My most recent ex told me repeatedly she still loves a guy she dated just before me. I told her multiple times to not tell me about it. When we broke up, she waited a day and ****** him. I sent the guy a message saying I had AIDS >=] I don't, but he doesn't know that. Her mom also got an anonymous tip that she's dating this kid (She hated him). They're no longer dating. ^_^

40ozToFreedom 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 16:52

ha you're such a bitter little ******

skreech96 0

Tuesday 28 September 2010 18:54

haha your such a poser, I can tell by your profile pic you little bitch

Lemon_Lime888 0

Friday 27 January 2012 5:48

We don't need your life story there bud!

RebeccaRFT 18

Wednesday 28 January 2015 7:06

Okay- sorry, but you're an ass. You had absolutely no business in her love life and you ruined a potentially good life partner.

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The Top

Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 246

You deserved it 589

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

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You deserved it 2 123

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 7 404

You deserved it 24 051

Today, I did my workout at the gym instead of at home as I usually do, since I'm paranoid about people seeing up my shorts. I told myself to get over it, because it's impossible. After my extensive workout, I realized that there was a hole in the crotch of my shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 397

You deserved it 10 297

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 264

You deserved it 2 795

Today, I lost a tooth and got my jaw wired shut after my toddler managed to break my jaw by whacking me with a plastic toy. Hello at least 8 weeks of being unable to talk while only eating meals that have been thoroughly blitzed into a liquid form first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 110

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 773

You deserved it 53 631

Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 167

You deserved it 5 286