Love: Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself...

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 620

You deserved it 4 060

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Same thing different taste

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 088

You deserved it 3 661

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 049

You deserved it 5 407

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 619

You deserved it 36 066

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 17:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 317

You deserved it 5 165

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 119

You deserved it 15 177

Get out

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 00:00

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 124

By bad day Brutus - 29/04/2013 05:26 - United States

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 051

You deserved it 64 670

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 252

You deserved it 27 564

By ThatHurts - 14/11/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 298

You deserved it 34 555

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 360

You deserved it 22 608

Mirorbo 26

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:06

I would feel sorry for the poor dear if she didn't make such a shallow excuse.

Mikeymikey 4

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:07

well there's only one thing left to do!!! Give her another black eye 0_o

Comments

canitbe 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:22

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

jsimms895 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:25

wtf she tryin to get u arrested?!

lickmyjock 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 10:04

I know seriously that shit ain't funny. just imagine what her dads thinking right now.

summersizzle 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:27

hahahahahah # 1 win! I <3 jersey shore fist pumping like champs! ;)

Vargman 5

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:27

Double jeopardy ?? She already blamed you so you might as well hit her :p But seriously: make it ex-girlfriend from now on.

jsimms895 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:27

btw thats 2-5 mofucka lol

dphilipson12 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 18:43

hahaha. wow I'd seriously leave her ass

the_boob 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:28

I hope she's your ex-gf now, what a ****.

SlyFYL 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:30

Or maybe you actually beat her and want people to believe she did it herself

FYLDeep 25

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:34

"Yeah, that was me, but it's okay... I have better control of my dick now. It won't happen again."

willgraham101 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:36

lol win. this thread is now only made of 60 % fail and 30 % win with 10% awsomeness from me

Peacemaker9 7

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:37

lol win!!!

willgraham101 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:41

thats what i said, now u have to give me royalties

Peacemaker9 7

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:43

u beat me by like 2 secs!!! so no!!!

willgraham101 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 9:43

did i just hear you say " i pull a justin beiber all the time?"

jade567 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 10:17

lmfao that was freaking hilarious!!!! xD it's his payback for being a crappy singer!!! FAFP!!

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 857

You deserved it 5 979

Today, I was crying after a bad day at work. As I walked down the street, a young boy in a minivan tried to get my attention. He kept saying, "Hi, hi, please wave!" in a sad voice. When I politely waved at him, I saw a group of kids in the van giggling hysterically and taking pictures of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 285

You deserved it 285

The Top

Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 462

You deserved it 6 353

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 054

You deserved it 2 932

Today, I saw some random iTunes charge on my bank account so I called who I thought was iTunes customer support to figure out the $5 charge, then got scammed into buying $1,400 worth of gift cards. The man on the phone was not with iTunes and took all my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 5 568

Today, my boyfriend was cold and distant with me, after holding me the day before and telling me to my face we were OK and that he wasn’t upset anymore. I tried to give him space originally but he insisted he didn’t need it. Now i just feel stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 123

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 605

You deserved it 13 621

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 823

You deserved it 11 902

Same thing different taste

Get out

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