Kids: Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able...

By makeitstop - 04/08/2011 13:41 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 595

You deserved it 63 580

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Same thing different taste

By notawizard - 16/07/2009 10:16 - Spain

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 338

You deserved it 95 108

By Anonymous - 18/10/2014 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 327

You deserved it 14 510

By Anonymous - 27/10/2012 00:33 - United Kingdom - Knowle

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 429

You deserved it 6 748

By Anonymous - 11/02/2014 16:09 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 895

You deserved it 8 796

By brichard22 - 12/07/2015 14:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 827

You deserved it 5 812

By obnum - 24/05/2013 12:26 - United States - New York

Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 218

You deserved it 45 840

Misunderstanding

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:49 - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 496

You deserved it 6 558

By Jill - 15/06/2013 04:19 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 348

You deserved it 22 743

By AnonymousCow - 20/09/2016 13:04 - Australia - Perth

Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 808

You deserved it 1 895

By Anya - 17/12/2016 16:09 - Japan - Fukuoka

Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 680

You deserved it 1 823

ilovehamburgers 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:54

Yes you are.

emmiep1011 7

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:57

I hope you resorted to butter beer.

Comments

brianjman14 22

Thursday 4 August 2011 20:22

I don't blame you. I hate Harry Potter.

anongrl 2

Friday 5 August 2011 8:29

agreed. It's retarded.

sweetheartxoxo88 7

Thursday 4 August 2011 20:22

Parenting FAIL.

Epsilonyx 15

Thursday 4 August 2011 20:26

Emanating from her cake hole? You have a way with words. Truly, you do.

brianjman14 22

Thursday 4 August 2011 21:03

Haha, yeah. I agree.

faithxoxox 1

Thursday 4 August 2011 20:29

That was the mother.

CurlyChica808 4

Thursday 4 August 2011 20:29

I modded this, but I pressed no after 'whiny jibber-jabber' and 'cake hole'.

yellowboy30 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 20:30

No you not kids make you wanna do that

twisted54 1

Thursday 4 August 2011 21:40

What?

MissAwesomeness 4

Thursday 4 August 2011 20:31

oh thanks for reminding me about pottermore!!! XD

mandaboo 8

Thursday 4 August 2011 20:32

I got in on the site with no problem. Tell her to get on early in the morning, because registration is on London time. Then maybe you wouldn't have to write FMLs that make you look like a complete bitch. Let your kid be a kid