Kids: Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney...

By MakeMyDay_27 - 27/06/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 949

You deserved it 5 632

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Same thing different taste

By me - 06/05/2013 00:56 - United States - Floresville

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 555

You deserved it 6 955

By ButImBeautiful - 04/02/2017 02:00 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, a little girl came up to me and told me I looked like a foot. Thanks a bunch, darling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 397

You deserved it 609

By anonymous - 02/11/2014 09:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 234

You deserved it 5 353

By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 18:10 - United States - Miami

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 171

You deserved it 10 066

By silverstar189 - 01/01/2010 15:41 - United States

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 248

You deserved it 4 021

By Missyangel - 31/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 11 450

Say it ain't so

By loserwithlice - 26/07/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I told my 8 year-old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she's ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 937

You deserved it 6 291

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By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 13:58 - Germany - Bruchsal

Today, my boyfriend told me that his daughter only liked me because she thought that we look like siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 89

By alejita - 02/03/2009 05:52 - United States

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 129

You deserved it 9 839

By disappointed - 01/07/2016 03:31 - United States - Rockville

Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 036

You deserved it 1 474

ComTlancy 12

Monday 27 June 2011 23:03

you've got to be kidney-ing me...

SophisticatedJel 0

Monday 27 June 2011 23:05

tell her it runs in the family and that soon her head will be shaped just like yours!

Comments

kandyluv4evr 0

Monday 27 June 2011 23:09

she needs to learn manners......

mismonroe 0

Monday 27 June 2011 23:11

You raised the little monster.

LizzJizz 16

Monday 27 June 2011 23:12

Lol...kidney bean XD too comedy. Poor you... Evil child

sarapsosis 1

Tuesday 28 June 2011 1:43

shut up

allthatremains25 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 5:32

you're coming across dumb.

sideshowIFG 0

Monday 27 June 2011 23:12

haha ouch

PandaPandy 6

Monday 27 June 2011 23:13

hahaha she seems cool XD

cleolappost 0

Monday 27 June 2011 23:16

if ur daughter can't respect u then maybe it's time for a very long talk about respect!

ifailplzinsultme 0

Monday 27 June 2011 23:17

Tell her my favorite joke! What did the 5 fingers say to the face? What? Slap!

RoseVee 2

Monday 27 June 2011 23:17

She's 6, you're 30 something and spelled 'Kidney' wrong! That is worse woman!

sammi3113 4

Monday 27 June 2011 23:18

wait until she's a teenager

Athoritaahhh 0

Monday 27 June 2011 23:35

I'd hit that

sammi3113 4

Monday 27 June 2011 23:20

wait until she's a teenager

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Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 054

You deserved it 3 116

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 380

You deserved it 7 198

The Top

Today, my son told me he wants to be a cop or enter the military when he grows up. Why? "Cops get paid to kill useless members of society" and "Only the military can stop communism." FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 288

Today, I woke up at 3am to go to work. This will be my new routine from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 934

You deserved it 9 871

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 125

You deserved it 28 890

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 502

You deserved it 84 214

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 466

You deserved it 2 311

Today, I was pulling in to my work parking lot gate, accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake pedal, ran through the gate arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 697

You deserved it 1 276

Same thing different taste

Say it ain't so

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