Health: Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally...

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 433

You deserved it 3 813

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Same thing different taste

By idontevencareanymore - 23/05/2014 21:25 - United States - Jarrell

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 183

You deserved it 4 681

By Anonymous - 23/05/2015 07:03 - United States - Tampa

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 119

You deserved it 2 527

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 228

You deserved it 3 049

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 712

You deserved it 5 788

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 141

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 926

You deserved it 172

By HeIsKindaRightTho - 16/09/2014 04:31 - United States - Houghton

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 326

You deserved it 4 927

By yeah why not - 06/04/2013 17:06 - Norway

Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 841

You deserved it 2 997

By FML - 04/09/2015 16:27 - United States - Maricopa

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 693

You deserved it 1 725

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 17:42 - Zambia

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 196

You deserved it 2 384

ImKindaABigDeal 6

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:06

shoulda said "no I got moms abnormally large one"

cheerchika 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:04

hahaha. say " no and thank god" ;)

Comments

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Monday 7 March 2011 4:07

Well, did you?

DeadOnArrivall 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:27

its only an fml cause you did

enabray138 5

Monday 7 March 2011 6:39

#103 buahahahahahahaahaha

RawrB3 0

Monday 7 March 2011 5:21

O.O... so did you?

Evesapple671 0

Monday 7 March 2011 5:39

AWWWW,u look just like your daddy (:

DaveOnDope 4

Monday 7 March 2011 5:40

Okay, sperm-x swims farthest. Sperm-y swims fastest but not as far. So when you see a guy that only has daughters? Work it out, but NEVER tell this to the guy with all daughters...

rdvfyubuyg 1

Wednesday 3 August 2011 11:42

I don't get it...

momony_fml 0

Monday 7 March 2011 6:03

You should have said, "no, I got the mailmans extremely large one !!!

lilmissprissNkc 0

Monday 7 March 2011 7:30

More like... Today, my boyfriends dad got drunk and asked if his son inherited the family trait of an abnormally small penis. FML

luvyabunches 1

Monday 7 March 2011 7:35

well?

Cenobyte 10

Monday 7 March 2011 8:35

That sucks. Sorry. I hope you didn't.

mhnilo88 0

Monday 7 March 2011 8:50

it's only an FML if the answer is yes

Keywords

Work Mental health Students Relatable Parenting Kids Awkward Love Embarrassing Intimacy Family Wanker AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Bodyshaming Cops Transportation Cars Sex Sexism Growing old Health Periods Job interview Education

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Today, my sister is furious with me and said i will never see my nieces again. Last weekend, while I babysat for her, I taught them the meaning of veganism and animal rights, even showing them a few videos about the meat and dairy industry, and how the animals are kept and treated. Now she won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 3 508

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 649

You deserved it 297

The Top

The struggle is real.

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 66

Today, I walked outside and found our kitten, my kids' favorite pet, convulsing and choking on the carport. Nothing we did helped and she died in my arms five minutes later. We've buried her, and I'm dreading going home and telling my boys that she's passed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 62

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 298

You deserved it 3 299

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked for 2 years that I tan too much and dye my hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed my hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 644

You deserved it 2 845

Today, my parents told me they won’t be attending my wedding, all because my fiancée is the woman I cheated on my ex with and left her for. What they fail to understand is that people and hearts change. It wouldn’t be fair to remain by my ex’s side while being in love with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 2 522

Today, I was just about done with my late-night shift at Ralph's. As I was about to put up my "Closed Lane" sign, an elderly women starts putting items on the conveyor belt. The cost was $14.79, and she paid with pennies. It took her ages to count them all, and I wasn't being paid overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 788

You deserved it 4 007

Same thing different taste

He's still got it

News to me

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