Health: Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally...

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 434

You deserved it 3 813

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Same thing different taste

By idontevencareanymore - 23/05/2014 21:25 - United States - Jarrell

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 183

You deserved it 4 681

By Anonymous - 23/05/2015 07:03 - United States - Tampa

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 120

You deserved it 2 527

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 230

You deserved it 3 049

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 712

You deserved it 5 788

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 141

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 926

You deserved it 172

By HeIsKindaRightTho - 16/09/2014 04:31 - United States - Houghton

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 326

You deserved it 4 927

By yeah why not - 06/04/2013 17:06 - Norway

Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 843

You deserved it 2 997

By FML - 04/09/2015 16:27 - United States - Maricopa

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 694

You deserved it 1 725

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 17:42 - Zambia

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 196

You deserved it 2 384

ImKindaABigDeal 6

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:06

shoulda said "no I got moms abnormally large one"

cheerchika 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:04

hahaha. say " no and thank god" ;)

Comments

DaRito 25

Saturday 18 July 2015 3:05

Well did you?

Cavsfodawin 21

Tuesday 21 June 2016 3:25

Well did you?

KrazyKatz333 15

Tuesday 16 August 2016 11:06

Did you?

lucasj23 11

Wednesday 23 May 2018 4:25

this is only an fml if the answer is yes.

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Today, my relationship with my sister-in-law has never been the greatest, so I've been trying to improve it. Any progress I may have made was destroyed when I accidentally slammed a car door shut with her hand in it. Good news: Her hand is not broken. Bad news: She absolutely refuses to believe it was an accident. FML

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You deserved it 97

Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML

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You deserved it 1 943

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I agree, your life sucks 12 275

You deserved it 26 774

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I agree, your life sucks 13 870

You deserved it 2 450

Today, I had RA training and we were doing mock situations. During one of these, I had a seizure. Everyone thought it was fake, until I started violently throwing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 318

You deserved it 1 453

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I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 112

Today, I came into work early to clean equipment, with my headphones on, singing to myself. I lost track of time, and wound up with the entire office watching me belt it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 132

You deserved it 1 593

Same thing different taste

He's still got it

News to me

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