Love: Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone... - FML

By hahahehehohohoo - 07/02/2009 03:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324 246

You deserved it 58 615

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/05/2012 12:07 - Israel - Ramat Hasharon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 153

You deserved it 8 746

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Bronx

Spicy

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 538

You deserved it 5 036

Wakey wakey

By DanJames24 - 24/05/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Southsea

Today, my flatmate woke me up early, saying there was a fire and we had to evacuate. Barely awake, she practically dragged me downstairs and got to the front door. Once we got there, she opened the front door, kneed me in the nuts, and pushed me out, locking it behind her. I was only in boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 150

By wookieewhosshe - 19/03/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 116

You deserved it 383

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 615

You deserved it 43 640

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 195

You deserved it 3 103

By Ignorant - 07/10/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, my husband and I had a HUGE fight, but we had amazing make up sex so I figured it was over. When I woke up, I realized my mistake. I was tied to the four bed posts completely naked and a sign was taped on the ceiling. "Repairman coming in an hour. Gave him a key. Have all your clothes. Have fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 974

You deserved it 885

By Anonymous - 07/09/2009 21:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 184

You deserved it 3 456

Why would you do that?

By Sam - 23/11/2009 01:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 108

You deserved it 29 771

Some people just don't like surprises

By alone and horny - 20/06/2020 20:01

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I started to head back in, I saw a shadow move across my bedroom window. I live alone, so I waited outside and called the police. They came and investigated, only to drag my naked boyfriend out, where he promptly dumped me. I forgot our 2-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 818

You deserved it 1 709

Next

Top comments

xXxRandiexXx 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 13:32

I would dump him. he just left you there!!!

Pewsily 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 14:19

Hahaha, this made my day!

Comments

brainless_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 10:19

Why not leave him naked, chained at a more public place? A restaurant / pub toilet maybe? Or even wackier?

pikL3bOi 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 5:51

That's hoyt

speeddemon12 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 9:00

oh my god, im sorry but that is the funniest thing i've read all day hahaha wow. anyways i would dump his ass if i were you

prietafection 0

Monday 22 June 2009 8:00

I hope you told the fireman to finish what your boyfriend had started..!

jackpaice 0

Monday 29 June 2009 3:40

omfg! =O that's so wtf! jesus!

ronmascara 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 4:02

Doesn't that remind anyone of Titanic? Hmm..

ronmascara 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 4:07

lol @40 hahaha

alexanderrankin 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 13:18

tht just sucks all around, i feel sorry 4 u i'd never do tht 2 my girl, how about u dump him(if u havent already) and date me...haha jk jk

hiimmichelle 0

Friday 10 July 2009 2:35

LOLOLOLOLOL I'm sry but this just made my day sooo much better XD

Toremate 5

Friday 10 July 2009 15:11

kick him in the nuts ! :D

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Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Abuse Birthday Relatable Money Scams Social Media School Kids Parents Education Health Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Customers Work Gross

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 81

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I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, I spilled my heart out to a guy by showing him one of my poetry journals. He read through it and said, "Wow, I feel sorry for the guy you wrote about." The poems were all about how I loved him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 184

You deserved it 7 989

Today, the gums around my wisdom teeth are so badly swollen that I can't talk. I called a dentist to find out if I could see them for a removal. They told me to contact a surgeon, or go to the hospital emergency room. I have no insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 227

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 091

You deserved it 27 617

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 681

You deserved it 3 991

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 466

You deserved it 5 463

Today, I found out that I can no longer work at my dream job because of their financial status. And of course, just now that I was finally beginning to be happy with my life, something like this naturally had to happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 93