Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one...

By m - 22/08/2012 01:59 - United States - Stamford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 986

You deserved it 5 880

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Shoot your shot

By scewable - 13/10/2011 07:19 - United States

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 225

You deserved it 10 096

By Alissa - 29/06/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 823

You deserved it 6 917

Last act

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 20:00

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 159

You deserved it 272

Making plans

By nowsingle - 03/07/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 988

You deserved it 5 800

By notthebesttime - 13/10/2012 12:04

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 801

You deserved it 3 730

So generous

By noway - 10/08/2011 17:47 - Singapore

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 149

You deserved it 7 101

By bad in the sack - 05/07/2014 04:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 157

You deserved it 11 461

A friend in need…

By anonymous - 30/06/2012 06:26 - United States - Denver

Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 186

You deserved it 2 523

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 04:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 455

You deserved it 3 051

By whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 885

You deserved it 3 060

Malkria 1

Wednesday 22 August 2012 9:02

What an ass...

MissIconic 8

Wednesday 22 August 2012 9:03

Try a girl friend but not before smacking that horndog upside the head.

Comments

Austyn57 1

Wednesday 22 August 2012 20:33

ahhhhhh the classic rebound ;)

fsanchez9x 0

Wednesday 22 August 2012 21:20

I fail to see what is the problem.

O0HLOV 2

Wednesday 22 August 2012 21:23

and this is surprising because.....?

monalisa911 1

Wednesday 22 August 2012 22:09

the question is did you do it?

Yukimor 2

Thursday 23 August 2012 2:04

"Try" appears to be the operative word in this FML.

_TheAtheist_ 10

Wednesday 22 August 2012 23:15

He misread the situation. What an amateur.

SoultheWolf 19

Wednesday 22 August 2012 23:32

I really hope you kicked him in the nuts and told him to leave.

livelovemusic22 3

Wednesday 22 August 2012 23:52

That's happening to me with this o e guy....it's annoying.

hateevryone 14

Thursday 23 August 2012 0:25

You know all guys think alike. If you want some comfort, turn to a female.

klx125cross 9

Thursday 23 August 2012 4:25

That basterd....

wironandine 8

Thursday 23 August 2012 5:05

You're surprised? He's a genius. I bet you did it too

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Kids Relationship advice Social Media Love Art Work Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Intimacy

The Top

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 21 832

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 457

You deserved it 2 906

The Top

Today, I walked in on my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 595

You deserved it 4 503

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 622

You deserved it 4 836

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 704

You deserved it 3 565

Today, after saving for months to have a few hundred bucks set aside, the government sent me a car tax bill from 2010. Yep, 8 years ago. They want the interest on the bill too. Broke again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 849

You deserved it 275

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 629

You deserved it 6 571

Today, I finally found the single flaw in my perfect boyfriend. It's herpes. Genital herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 950

You deserved it 1 721