Animals: Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old...

By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 16:51 - Canada - Galt

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 661

You deserved it 5 438

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By What? - 22/01/2013 19:00 - Australia

Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 652

You deserved it 4 108

By Anonymous - 14/06/2014 06:42 - Canada - Regina

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 509

You deserved it 7 051

By Anon - 23/05/2016 10:49 - United States - Lansing

Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 221

You deserved it 1 257

By Anonymous - 28/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Troy

Today, my parents finally fulfilled my wish of a pet that I could take care of for a few years. They got a parrot. I guess 75 years or more is a few years to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 843

You deserved it 1 335

By Ketchup - 22/06/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 789

You deserved it 49 890

By Wenny - 18/01/2009 12:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 398

You deserved it 2 973

Thanks for the input

By NVP - 18/01/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 478

You deserved it 3 815

By Blah - 02/08/2018 05:00

Today, I learned that my (ex) boyfriend has a breastfeeding fetish. How did I learn this? I found him sneaking pictures of my breastfeeding sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 540

You deserved it 267

By Anonymous - 22/08/2013 04:48 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 024

You deserved it 3 781

Don't hate the player…

By Jpaylay - 12/08/2021 14:00 - United States - Lakeland

Today, my brother bamboozled me out of 20$. He's 12 years-old, and I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 783

Welshite 39

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:05

Polly want uhh...breast milk?

Llamassss 21

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:05

I would imagine that would be pretty painful.

Comments

toxiicgaming 1

Wednesday 14 August 2013 4:40

Obey_StudBoii 23

Wednesday 14 August 2013 4:41

That mental image sound's disturbing.

howardom 10

Wednesday 14 August 2013 4:52

This hurts just to think about.

Macross_fml 4

Wednesday 14 August 2013 5:16

breast milk？OMG...

tannara 12

Wednesday 14 August 2013 7:08

Ouch

hynriech_lord 8

Wednesday 14 August 2013 7:09

is your boyfriend really gullible or dumb?

csi_fml 19

Wednesday 14 August 2013 7:17

Funniest thing I heard all day

ohSNAPyall 26

Wednesday 14 August 2013 7:30

Just ask Polly to back up your story.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 14 August 2013 7:34

He could have said worse...but you can prove that it's false...

underthesea12 24

Wednesday 14 August 2013 8:36

good choice in men.

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The Top

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 028

You deserved it 5 459

Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 048

You deserved it 1 523

The Top

Today, I went in to take my College Placement tests. I'd spent all week ignoring actual homework to study for these tests. When I got there, the responsible told me that the tests were last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 2 066

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 390

Today, I had sex with a guy on the first date. I couldn’t wait, he was too gorgeous. The only problem was that when we finished, he announced that he had to fart and did so twice. Now I’m not so sure if I’ll see him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 229

You deserved it 7 115

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 164

You deserved it 5 833

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 307

You deserved it 3 787

Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 208

You deserved it 7 792

Same thing different taste

What did you say?

Thanks for the input

Don't hate the player…

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