By Facepalmum - 10/01/2013 06:28 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 581
You deserved it 7 936
May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

mpj13 8

How do you even get the two confused?

142 4
Werken247 14

Were you and your husband related before you got married? C'mon now tell the truth.

88 5

Comments

CazDan 1

Under no circumstances should you let him cook for you.

45 1
FML_Whale 18

I wouldn't take any egg salad sandwiches from him.

2 0
zombieslayer83 19

Not as many shitty puns as I suspected!

8 4
ICastillo 24

Because people don't want the shit storm that comes after one.

7 1
billyz77 24

Give 'em time. The hoard is gathering as we speak (type?).

2 2
stargirl_95 24

I find the fact that your 14 year old son cannot tell the difference between a dog turd and a bird's egg slightly disturbing. I hate to disappoint you, but it doesn't look like your son is going to become a rocket scientist who studied at an Ivy League university like you were hoping OP.

26 2
Marineman5 6

Maybe you should teach your kid about the wildlife. Obviously his school isn't doing its job.

8 1
infaith 5

I'm pretty sure school doesn't explain what molded dog shit looks like...

5 2
Marineman5 6

True but the kid is 14 a little common sense

2 0
perdix 29

Tell him if he sits on it long enough and keeps it warm, he'll hatch a puppy! That ought to give you several weeks of peace and quiet as your idiot boy plays Mama Dogbird.

28 2
billyz77 24

You did it again, perdix. I always read FMLs while eating breakfast and this is at least the fifth or sixth time you've made me laugh out loud with a mouthful of food or drink. I should send you the bill for the dry cleaning. They charge extra for coffee stains, ya know. But thanks!!

8 4
perdix 29

#26, OK, send me the bill, but just this one time and just for you. Next time, when you see my trademark earth-toned stripes, swallow what you're eating or drinking before reading. I don't want to be responsible for any more of your laundry catastrophes.

12 1
billyz77 24

I tried sending my dry cleaning bill to you, perdix, but I'll be damned if I can figure out where the insertion slot is on my iPhone. None on my router, either, or my laptop. Damned Internet is just too complicated for this old ****** to figure out. I'll just pay it myself but thank you for the offer. I bet even OP's son could forward that bill to you but it's beyond me.

3 0
perdix 29

#55, aw, man, I'm not that much younger than you. What you do is lay out some birdseed and catch a bird. Go to the Home Depot knobs and buttons department and get my Twitter handle. Wrap the bill around the bird, secure it with the handle and sent me a Tweet. That's how all the cool kids do it these days!

7 0
rotflqtms_ 21

~These younguns & their tweeting messenger birds. First pigeons, then owls... All this tweeting is killing my wallet (bird seeds aren't cheep...um, cheap)... And my payments never seem to reach their destination... I don't know why all my birds get lost but everyone else tweets & their messages reach millions of people...maybe I need different bird food...~

5 0
rotflqtms_ 21

Um, more like 12, not 11. Dog Shit doesn't taste good fried with cheese on toasted bread with sausages... Not that I tried it or anything... *whistles & walks away*

4 1
DocBastard 38

Well, that sort of thing happens to the best of...uh... No, no it doesn't. Your son is an imbecile.

25 4
jgriff79 23

Good news you don't have to start a college fund. Bad news he is going to live with you forever.

16 0
DanielleinDC 33

I have to wonder how anyone can have such an idiot child.

1 3
zombieslayer83 19

You never know, her child could have a mental disorder!

3 1
DocBastard 38

Which is more common, sheer stupidity or mental disorders?

4 1
zombieslayer83 19

In the child or with you!

1 0
buckdharma 36

hey, cut the kid some slack. At least he is'nt trying to light the house with it.

5 0