Work: Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted...

By lpspann87 - 24/09/2011 21:34 - United States

Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 096

You deserved it 2 574

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Brendan - 19/02/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 967

You deserved it 4 144

TW: Gross

By mpfrost153 - 01/11/2021 12:00 - United States

Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 120

Symphonic

By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 22:46 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 816

You deserved it 4 913

Bad day

By it hurts!! - 29/05/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, I double checked with the barista to make sure my latte had soy milk. After a few sips, I could tell it wasn’t but it was too late. I’m so sensitive to dairy, I spent the rest of my work day trying to stifle the gut busting cramps and noxious fumes. I had a meeting I couldn’t reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 161

The sweet smell of success

By joshua - 06/08/2011 00:18 - United States

Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 779

You deserved it 2 765

Chain reaction

By gassy - 15/07/2015 11:15 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 323

You deserved it 4 031

By Stinkbomber - 24/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, at work, our grease traps were getting cleaned out. My desk is right next to the vent for outside air, and veryone thought I crapped myself and wouldn't go near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 882

You deserved it 475

By Ammile - 25/12/2018 04:00

Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 898

You deserved it 196

By Anon - 20/01/2017 22:00

Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 108

You deserved it 1 726

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 012

You deserved it 5 391

bfsd42 20

Sunday 25 September 2011 1:59

Shove a cork up his ass.

heavymetalman1 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 1:59

Sounds kinda shitty...sorry op

Comments

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:08

If only it was just your coworker. Many, many, people just refuse to listen to their body's very obvious "hints" because whatever they're eating "just tastes good".

nick347b 6

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:09

He's slowly killing himself, the problem will be resolved in due time.

idl3mind 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 3:59

I'm not lactose intolerant but I am diabetic. You are definitely right. He is slowly killing himself.

xXshadowrollerXx 6

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:09

Once his body tells him it's not dealing with his shit anymore, he'll get the message.

KalynC 5

Sunday 25 September 2011 7:36

....I see what you did there...

jedielf 23

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:10

I cry for these people who don't eat healthy breakfasts...

mohammadkm95 6

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:11

Thats just shitty

JojoChuo 8

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:13

All the "that's so shitty" comments reminds me of a episode from South Park x)

upyourzlolz 11

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:14

Please, nobody write another shitty comment about a shitty situation.

olpally 32

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:39

You just did.. Epic fail...

upyourzlolz 11

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:42

Yeah that was the joke, genius.

olpally 32

Sunday 25 September 2011 4:25

My bad.. Whoops.. Total fail by me.. :(

poppylamonzo 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:15

Wow sounds like you work in a shithole..

Enslaved 36

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:15

I feel sorry for you having to deal with that smell! Yuck! Maybe suggest those lactose pills? I've heard they work for some people. I don't have Whataburger where I am.): I was told they're yummy.

lidemocr 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 3:33

They are but not so good for you. Sounds like OP's officemate over-indulges!

every1luvsboners 11

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:15

Your only option is Battle Farts. Go buy 50 habanero hot wings and a case of Old Milwaukee. Then place butt-plug in it's home and do not remove it until you get to work. Sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire.