Miscellaneous: Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother,...

By Anonymous - 08/08/2013 08:03 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 459

You deserved it 4 804

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Devotedmom - 10/01/2016 09:07 - Belgium - Li?ge

Today, I got up at 5 am to bake a surprise birthday cake for my 16-year-old son. I put the cake on the table and went to call my son. "Surprise!" When I came back 30 seconds later, the cake was all gone and the dog was licking his lips. My son won't even believe I made a cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 047

You deserved it 3 111

That blows

By Anonymous - 12/09/2022 23:30

Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 189

By Needasafe1234 - 25/09/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 028

You deserved it 46 784

By Anonymous - 15/11/2012 14:54 - United States - Erie

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 548

You deserved it 49 509

Competition

By JaneDoe - 04/04/2013 02:51 - United States - Salisbury

Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 745

You deserved it 2 781

By thissucks - 21/02/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 552

You deserved it 3 415

By sunflowercake - 23/08/2009 23:10 - Canada

Today, I made a very pretty sunflower cake that I woke up incredibly early to make. It took me hours and a lot of money. It was for my grandparents anniversary and my whole family was invited. We only got to see the remains because the waiter gave it to the wrong family, and they ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 931

You deserved it 2 373

By as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - 05/04/2014 22:04 - United Kingdom - Birkenhead

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 153

You deserved it 3 509

By I'm so sorry... - 01/03/2017 16:00

Today, a coworker left a chocolate cake on the "free food" table in the office. I had a slice. She's just called to ask if she left her grandmother's birthday cake at work. She made it from scratch. Now I'm baking a new cake in the office kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 674

You deserved it 1 526

By bestbirthdayever - 24/08/2010 07:18 - United States

Today, I was at my sixteenth birthday party. My guests consisted of my grandma who I live with, and my 2-year-old cousin she was babysitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 757

You deserved it 4 217

abbyycarper 13

Thursday 8 August 2013 16:16

Well you at least got ham

Crazafon 19

Thursday 8 August 2013 16:20

She obviously isn't a baker, but she sure is baked!

Comments

SgtAssCheeks 21

Thursday 8 August 2013 16:48

maybe your son enjoys ham more than cake?

kpc2424 13

Thursday 8 August 2013 16:53

She's ingenious! That's my kind of party.... Low carb!

imazaari 12

Thursday 8 August 2013 17:01

Would you say she was...hammered?

utlanning 9

Thursday 8 August 2013 17:04

I wish I had gotten birthday ham instead of cake, Birthday ham sammiches for days! DAYS I TELL YOU!

LittleGreenPaola 23

Thursday 8 August 2013 17:04

A piece of cake, definitely

cottoncandymango 17

Thursday 8 August 2013 17:06

Hey, at least she brought somethin!

aeonsoul 12

Thursday 8 August 2013 17:10

Make it work, OP! :p

123man 11

Thursday 8 August 2013 17:12

The worst part of it is that the family is Jewish!

desoura737 8

Thursday 8 August 2013 17:16

I hope there's a Walmart near by OP! Walmart cake HAS to be better than pretend ham cake that could potentially scar your child forever.

Zebediabolical 39

Thursday 8 August 2013 17:26

This is what happens when you ask a lush to make a rum cake!

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Abuse Birthday Relatable Social Media Money Scams School Kids Education Parents Public freakouts Health Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Work Gross Customers

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 581

You deserved it 16 945

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 154

You deserved it 68 067

The Top

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 171

You deserved it 17 626

Today, my mom chewed me out, because my brother has been complaining to her that I don't talk to him anymore since moving out. We've never talked much, even when we were sharing a place! FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 93

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 252

You deserved it 3 599

Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 075

You deserved it 43 272

Today, my son has failed all his exams, no university will take him, he keeps getting fired from part time jobs for incompetence, and generally makes goldfish look smart in comparison. His mother refuses to admit she should have quit drinking while she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 240

Today, I had the lovely experience of witnessing a tow truck cause a couple thousand dollars' worth of damage to my broken-down car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 813

You deserved it 1 345

Same thing different taste

That blows

Competition

Top comments

Comments