Love: Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm...

By Anonymous - 05/07/2015 05:42 - United States - Tampa

Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 577

You deserved it 2 548

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Same thing different taste

This is America

By AngryBlackMan - 03/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, I'm a gay, black man who moved to a racist, mainly white, homophobic town for work. I've already had the cops called on me twice, and a group of teens yelled the f-slur at me unprompted. When I asked my boss if I could swap, he threatened to fire me. This is gonna be a long 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 233

Proud

By Anonymous - 16/07/2016 12:31

Today, I found a "White Power" bumper sticker on the back of my car. I don't know what idiot thought it'd be funny to put it there, but now my neighbors think I'm a proud racist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 698

You deserved it 1 021

By Nickie809 - 17/09/2012 14:59 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 161

You deserved it 1 868

By Anonymous - 11/07/2011 07:42 - Australia

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 582

You deserved it 3 283

By 44magnumtime - 06/08/2012 17:57 - Canada - Oakville

Today, some new people moved into the house next door to mine. The previous occupants were very loud and obnoxious day in and day out, so I was looking forward to some sanity. When I went outside, I noticed they'd parked their cars on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 630

You deserved it 1 742

Thanks, I hate it

By ZeldaovaPeach - 05/07/2016 12:44 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 230

You deserved it 1 206

By Mybrotherissatan - 10/03/2016 15:59 - United States - Arrington

Today, I found out why people in my new neighborhood keep giving me weird looks. For a laugh, my brother had gone around telling them I'm a parolee, and implying that I couldn't be trusted around their children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 618

You deserved it 1 329

By guest - 19/06/2014 01:14 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 770

You deserved it 5 561

Break ups are tough

By ... - 10/02/2010 09:08 - United States

Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This included Nazi symbols, "white power", and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominantly black neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 168

You deserved it 4 369

By BMike - 11/07/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 583

You deserved it 2 965

random2212 16

Sunday 5 July 2015 23:55

Wow that's terrible. Hopefully you can explain.

Klima_fml 29

Sunday 5 July 2015 23:55

A warm welcome, doesn't get too much better than that ;)

Comments

IndefiniteBeauty 17

Monday 6 July 2015 6:17

This needs a follow up.

bigblackdude101 16

Monday 6 July 2015 6:32

now you just gotta mow your lawn in a nazi suit like off of stepbrothers

jaymecarterr 21

Monday 6 July 2015 6:33

Dicksplash, thats a good one

ezrajab 22

Monday 6 July 2015 7:07

Wow some people are nasty

johncanact 13

Monday 6 July 2015 7:10

Dicksplash is a good word to use there.

newyorkerkyle 24

Monday 6 July 2015 8:30

Agreed

tylerdgvd 3

Monday 6 July 2015 7:30

Soooo... That fool is a drake hater

hahahaha123123 10

Monday 6 July 2015 7:49

Well - have a party - they'll understand

newyorkerkyle 24

Monday 6 July 2015 7:59

Hope they understand what happened! GL OP!

newyorkerkyle 24

Monday 6 July 2015 8:23

Couldn't delete comment sorry

daddysgirl8 21

Monday 6 July 2015 8:24

Tape a sign to your door that says something like "I'm not racist, I don't know who taped that to my door!"

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I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 68

Today, I was ecstatic that the pregnancy test I took was negative. I went to high-five my boyfriend as I told him the good news. Apparently, it’s monstrous, unladylike and weird for a woman to not want children. When I pointed out he doesn’t want kids either, he said, "That’s normal for guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 821

You deserved it 248

The Top

Today, my boss yelled at me for leaving on time. After months of management hounding us about our overtime, I get in trouble for doing what I was supposed to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 913

You deserved it 530

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 735

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated, "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 675

You deserved it 29 294

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I agree, your life sucks 35 742

You deserved it 3 409

Today, my parents disowned me because I told them I don’t want kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 137

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 716

You deserved it 3 956

Same thing different taste

This is America

Proud

Thanks, I hate it

Break ups are tough

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