Animals: Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking... - FML

By GoodDog - 09/09/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 850

You deserved it 51 882

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Same thing different taste

Alert!

By DamnDogs - 05/03/2012 10:28 - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 599

You deserved it 4 068

By rimjob - 20/02/2010 10:36 - United States

Today, my dog barked for 30 minutes with me yelling for him to shut up. Guess that's how long it takes someone to steal the rims from my truck. Good dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 848

You deserved it 42 990

By Yo mom - 27/12/2011 07:12 - United States

Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 678

You deserved it 55 044

By Unhappymothersday - 17/05/2012 20:41 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 507

You deserved it 2 167

Awkward…

By ApolloandDixie - 23/12/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I stayed in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 227

You deserved it 35 351

Crime scene

By xTRYSOFTx - 07/03/2020 03:00 - United States

Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 2 155

Nice neighborhood

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 15:34 - United States - Lexington

Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 966

You deserved it 1 789

Who's a good boy?

By Anonymous - 08/05/2020 20:00

Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 392

You deserved it 204

WOOF!

By Dweeb - 02/10/2019 18:00

Today, I ran into a parked car and fell into the gutter. All because a dog suddenly barked at me. From the other side of a wooden fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 642

By gothchick201013 - 09/09/2016 18:43 - United States - Dayton

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 071

You deserved it 1 120

Next

Top comments

Lisimal 7

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:07

Always listen to your dog! Shame on you.

EChan 1

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:25

Good thing it was only your car and your dog wasn't barking because your house was on fire.

Comments

Ranoona 0

Monday 21 September 2009 14:02

poor dog he was just trying to help. Now that you shouted at him I doubt he will bark at anyone who will try to steal your things.

jerry10394 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 4:13

the dog deserves a ******* from you

rety1 13

Monday 20 September 2010 19:58

lol. that sucks. the factory alarm on my car has a mechanism to cut the starter and lock the steering wheel upon the alarm being set off.. and my cars from the 80's.....

XxSonyaBladexX 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 5:26

Aren't animals amazing?!?

rainergeis 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 23:57

How old is your car exactly? Because the newer one can't be hot-wired.

Meesersuperman1 4

Saturday 21 January 2012 17:14

Well if your dog doesn't usually just randomly start barking in the middle of the night you should assume something is wrong.

georgiag_93 4

Sunday 24 June 2012 12:38

Good dog

motoxracer156 5

Saturday 30 June 2012 4:29

Ydi listen to ur dog

GirlWhoLovesVB 9

Saturday 21 June 2014 21:07

I can connect...I love my two dogs so much but they howl and bark at absolutely everything at any time of day and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference with them barking between something dangerous and a bird walking outside the window.

justinemalang1 14

Sunday 15 February 2015 5:58

So.... did he get the car?

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The Top

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 184

You deserved it 47 587

Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 027

You deserved it 3 364

The Top

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 290

You deserved it 5 906

Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 031

You deserved it 10 074

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 797

You deserved it 3 393

Today, my boss explained that the company will be letting me go. She got so upset that she couldn't leave her office and I had to console her. I had to make her feel less sad for laying me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 044

You deserved it 2 696

Today, I fell off my truck and landed on one of the stakes my wife uses to keep her plants upright. I landed on it so perfectly that it went through my shorts and perfectly straight up my asshole for a good 4 inches before it snapped. My wife helpfully removed it, but I still spent a night in hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 123

Today, I told my sister that it wasn't classy to eat an entire box of cookies by herself. She responding by telling me it's not classy to not know who my son's father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 2 241