Health: Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump...

By TowelSmellsNice - 16/04/2010 12:34 - Malaysia

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 552

You deserved it 70 594

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Same thing different taste

TW: Gross

By sweet_stufz - 11/11/2010 13:30 - Canada

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 649

You deserved it 38 888

By Anonymous - 19/11/2012 21:08 - United States - Nutley

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 643

You deserved it 6 153

Thanks, Mr Whiskers

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 06:13 - Canada

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 5 975

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 011

You deserved it 2 788

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 605

You deserved it 4 953

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 251

You deserved it 4 962

By Anonymous - 15/06/2015 02:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 672

You deserved it 2 409

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 509

You deserved it 1 372

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 633

You deserved it 9 112

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 23:07 - Canada

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 499

You deserved it 5 621

chelsrageous 0

Friday 16 April 2010 19:32

I highly doubt this is true.

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Friday 16 April 2010 19:28

I'm sorry, OP, but it truly sucks to be you since... how do I put this delicately? You're a towel.

Comments

shitthappened 0

Friday 16 April 2010 19:32

lol and u look dumb as ****

ROFLBERRYPIE 0

Friday 16 April 2010 20:29

^^^^^ Username Win for this FML

Rawr1996 0

Friday 16 April 2010 19:34

thats ******* nasty e_e!!!

deadsrs 0

Friday 16 April 2010 19:34

I went to _____ with my _____ wrapped around my _____. It wasn't until after I had _____d that I realised my _____ was still _____ around my _____!

ksummerville91_fml 0

Friday 16 April 2010 20:29

shit, towel, waist, shitted, towel, wrapped waist in that order,

deadsrs 0

Friday 16 April 2010 20:41

You win!!! tho I was hopin for a little creativity

ksummerville91_fml 0

Friday 16 April 2010 21:08

sleep, ****, foot, jumped, **** , wrapped , foot (teeheehee)

deadsrs 0

Friday 16 April 2010 21:59

ouch lol

Fischergirl17 0

Friday 16 April 2010 19:35

idiot

f_alltheirlives 3

Friday 16 April 2010 19:36

Ahh You got the new towel powered apple?

PapaSquee 2

Friday 16 April 2010 19:37

dumbass

sparky831 0

Friday 16 April 2010 19:38

hahaha! y would u take a dump after a shower gross!

antispamdude 0

Friday 16 April 2010 20:00

^ that's true ^

XxKeLs3yxX 0

Friday 16 April 2010 21:29

the OP never said that he took a shower...

frosting1012 0

Friday 16 April 2010 19:45

its not tht bad

Doopliss01 0

Friday 16 April 2010 19:52

Wtf is your problem..

antispamdude 0

Friday 16 April 2010 19:58

how stupid do you have to be to shit into a towel. ydi. that's like saying I forgot I had my drawers on so I sat on the toilet and shit in them.

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I agree, your life sucks 1 951

You deserved it 121

Same thing different taste

TW: Gross

Thanks, Mr Whiskers

Fast and Furious

Sneaky

Y'all need fiber.

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