Health: Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump...

By TowelSmellsNice - 16/04/2010 12:34 - Malaysia

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 552

You deserved it 70 594

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Same thing different taste

TW: Gross

By sweet_stufz - 11/11/2010 13:30 - Canada

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 649

You deserved it 38 888

By Anonymous - 19/11/2012 21:08 - United States - Nutley

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 645

You deserved it 6 153

Thanks, Mr Whiskers

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 06:13 - Canada

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 5 975

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 011

You deserved it 2 788

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 606

You deserved it 4 953

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 252

You deserved it 4 962

By Anonymous - 15/06/2015 02:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 672

You deserved it 2 409

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 509

You deserved it 1 372

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 633

You deserved it 9 112

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 23:07 - Canada

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 499

You deserved it 5 621

chelsrageous 0

Friday 16 April 2010 19:32

I highly doubt this is true.

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Friday 16 April 2010 19:28

I'm sorry, OP, but it truly sucks to be you since... how do I put this delicately? You're a towel.

Comments

Richisme 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 4:04

Animals take ***** successfully and your stupid ass can't figure it out?

bennyboy111 7

Saturday 17 April 2010 4:09

hahahahahahaha!!!! u fail

averinoelle 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 4:13

Hahaha this is really funny :)

starss 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 4:19

I hope you threw the towel away.

maz101 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 4:52

hahahaha this is ****** hilarious!!

soccergirl4life6 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 5:04

how would you not feel the towel when you sat down? Unless you started defecating before you sat down, you should have felt it.....

darkmis1 17

Saturday 17 April 2010 5:17

Haha! I would think my ex posted this, but he has a different username, and he just takes his laptop in with him and just sits it on his lap lolz.

stewpididiot 11

Saturday 17 April 2010 5:25

Sourgirl, just shine those losers ! You probably DID hit a nerve ( and a small one at that) with all the ones that made asshole type comments. insecure Lil bitches that they are ! hahahahahahah.... what ?